Good morning Rioters! The tour has been good so far, thanks for asking. I’m currently sitting poolside in Phoenix having a morning cup of coffee and a Pall Mall Menthol (I am the former Ambassador of Class you know), and pondering life in the world of sports today (move over Aristotle). Being on the road I haven’t been able to keep up with sports as much as I should, but with technology these days I’m still able to find the needed information that I enjoy or pisses me off (except in New Mexico, which is nothing but mountains, deserts, and no cell towers).
Holy Shit I Agree With Skip Bayless!
We at The Riot! never have hidden our disgust for “ESPN’s First Take” commentator Skip Bayless. He’s a pompous ass who at first I thought intentionally would give an opinion to get a rise out of people but the more I hear him the more I realize he’s just an asshole.
Well yesterday morning I was at a Flying J truck stop in Winslow, AZ and I found myself drinking coffee and watching ESPN’s first take amongst a bunch of truckers waiting in line for a shower (I was not in line for a truck stop shower, I merely went into the “truckers only section” for the TV), and Skip was giving his opinion on college football, and I actually agreed with him (sorry Chris, it’s my Fandom).
Bayless predicted that Oklahoma will win the National Championship and that Landry Jones will win the Heisman, and I think he’s spot on.
Oklahoma does have an easier road to the BCS Championship (which is something that the NCAA still needs to fix), being their in the Big 12, unlike Alabama who is in the trenches in the SEC (which hands down is the best conference in college football). The Sooners biggest challenge will be September 17th when they travel to Tallahassee to take on Florida State (which is the make or break game of the Seminoles, who I think are a BCS dark horse).
While Andrew Luck is the current Heisman favorite, mainly because he finished second to Cam Newton in last year’s Heisman voting, plays in the Pac-10; which is a weaker conference and Stanford has a big run offense, meaning Luck will not be able to throw nearly as much as Jones (and he’s not as accurate either).
Even though Skip Bayless is a giant toolbag, I’m with him on this one, book it now.
Boise State Football
Maybe college football is in the forefront of my mind today with the first game this weekend (well technically Thursday), but I have something I have to get off my chest. I’m sick and tired of Boise State.
First let’s get to the obvious. It’s impossible to watch a Boise State home game on TV. They wear blue uniforms and the damn field is blue. Watching the blue on blue is enough to give anyone a seizure. Also, why the f*ck do they have a blue field? This isn’t the XFL or the CFL where it’s gimmick based (ok, the CFL isn’t gimmick based, just has stupid rules to make Canadians seem witty). The field should be green, like every other football field in the modern world. Having a blue field with blue jerseys is a distraction for the opponents, but when you’re an overrated team I guess you need to pull out all the stops.
I’m also over these hillbilly Boise State fans that bitch and complain that their team doesn’t get the due respect even though they never lose a game. They should be thankful that ESPN and USA Today gives them a good ranking (a ranking I personally think is based on their record, but not that they are as good as teams around them in the rankings).
They always will have a good record. Look at their schedule. The WAC is probably the weakest conference in college football aside from the Ivy League. The MAC or Conference USA looks like the SEC in comparison to the WAC. When you’re beating up on shitty teams it’s easy to have a good record. Aside from the first game of the year when they play Georgia in Atlanta, and playing the only division rival in TCU, their schedule borderlines on a Division II school. This season they joined the Mountain West Conference, which might as well be a Division II conference, which is no tougher. Wyoming, UNLV, & New Mexico are three teams who do not put any type of fear in the opposition.
If Boise State was in the Big 10 they would finish behind Iowa State. If in the SEC behind Arkansas. If in the Big 12 behind Texas A&M.
Deal with it Broncos fans. A good record is no indication of how good your college football team is. Start playing real teams and maybe you might start getting respect.
Biggest Post Deadline Trade
Now that the MLB waiver trade deadline has passed, teams gunning for the post season have most of their rosters in place. The biggest move was Jim Thome returning to where he started in Cleveland, but outside of Mike Gonzalez going to the Rangers (which gives the Rangers a third of the Orioles opening day bullpen), there was no real impact move, at least on face value.
There is one move I do like, and it pains be to say this because I hate all things Atlanta, was the Braves re-acquiring Matt Diaz from the Pirates. Though he has had a down year in Pittsburgh, only batting .257, in Diaz’s previous six seasons (which were all in Atlanta), he batted .306. He’s one of those players who isn’t the sexiest name, but always seem to come through in the clutch, be it a base hit, or simply advancing the runner.
This move isn’t enough for the Braves to catch the Phillies in the division (in which they are currently 8.5 games back), but it helps solidify their lead in the Wild Card (which they currently lead the Cardinals by 7.5 games).
I was really hoping the Phillies would have made a run at Diaz. He’s a solid bat off the bench. I think the only reason they didn’t is because they don’t need a right-handed hitter. The Phillies bench woes are from the left side because Ross Gload is an underachieving stump. Instead they also went to the Pirates and acquired John Bowker (who is currently 0 for 1 as a Phillie).
What Happened to the World Champs???
The defending World Series Champion Giants came out like a house on fire, with every effort to prove that last season was not a fluke. They spent the first half of the summer competing with the Phillies for the best record in the National League. Then they cooled off some, and the Diamondbacks got hot. I slowly watched the Giants lead in the NL West slip away as I prepped for tour, until it became a dead heat.
Now it’s looking like more of a pipe dream.
Since August 1st the Giants have gone 14-22 since the acquisition of Carlos Beltran (so much for that boost they had hoped for). The Giants spent last season living and dying by their pitching, which is amongst the leagues best. Their rotation rivals the Phillies, and they have the best closer in the game (although he’s currently on the disabled list).
While the Giants have the pitching but their offense is a complete abomination. Pablo Sandoval (when healthy), is putting up some nice numbers, and Beltran’s .321 average should have given this club a boost (although he’s not doing much in the power department with only two home runs since the trade). Unfortunately the rest of the team has no desire to hit. Aubrey Huff is batting .243, Cody Ross .232, Pat Burrell .234, and Andres Torres .227. The pitchers can pitch their hearts out day in and out but if the offense isn’t doing anything to help, its obvious games will not be won.
Giants’ fans, I hate to tell you this, but your team is in a panic. That’s why you’ve seen the recent releases of Miguel Tejada and Aaron Rowand. They are doing anything to try and mix things up in the locker room.
Also Giants fans, don’t feed me a line of bullshit that the Giants struggles are a result of Buster Posey being out for the season. Enough of that, it’s a crap excuse and it’s a beaten horse. If Posey was the main reason the Giants were winning, their front office should have traded for a catcher, instead of overpaying for a rented outfielder and letting Eli Whiteside be your every day catcher.
Tattoos on Long Island
Tattoo Lou’s is one of the oldest tattoos shops on Long Island. They’ve been around for over 50 years, and have three locations on the island. Well they are getting ready to open a fourth, but in a not-so-obvious location.
The New York Islanders have partnered up with Tattoo Lou’s designating them the Official Tattoo Shop of the New York Islanders. Starting this year fans cannot only see one of the most embarrassing franchises stink on the ice, but can also get a tattoo.
This is the first time a tattoo shop and a sports franchise have come to this sort of arrangement. There’s a reason for that, it’s a stupid idea…
This isn’t groundbreaking Islanders fans. Getting a tattoo at a stadium is on par with getting tattooed at a state fair or flea market. It’s absurd. People are there to watch a hockey game, not get over-priced ink. As someone who has a lot of their body covered in tattoos, I would never consider getting a tattoo at a hockey game. A tattoo should be thought out properly, and done by an artist you trust and have been to before. The thought of getting a soda, pretzel, and mermaid tattoo during the first intermission is dumb.
Aside from the lameness of the entire concept, don’t the Islanders have more important things to worry about? Like maybe a winning season? Playoffs? I don’t know, a new arena considering Nassau Coliseum is a dump. Opening a tattoo shop shouldn’t be on the first page of priorities for the Islanders.
I will say it probably will be profitable. Growing up on Long Island, I’m well aware of the high rate of guido douchebags. They’ll be lined up at Islander games to get some shitty tribal tattoo they found on the wall. Then they’ll brag they got it at the Islanders game, and then drink a Miller Lite.
Well the road has been treating me good so far. Hopefully it’ll continue, be on the look out for updated tour diaries once I get off my lazy ass and actually write them. Any questions, comments, or insults? Hit me up at shatmeself@yahoo.com and I’ll be happy to address them.
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