Jay's Mailbag

Howdy!  It’s time for another installment of Jay’s Mailbag.  You email me questions at shatmeself@yahoo.com, and I answer them in the most honest way I know.  Remember, I’m here for you people.

From what I’ve read you spend most of your time watching sports, drinking, and hitting on women.  What other hobbies do you have?

Keith- Cape May, NJ

Thanks for the inquiry.  I’ve pondered it and that essentially sums up how I roll, with the exception of listening to mass quantities of music.  But I’m not sure that’s a hobby considering I’m normally writing, drinking, watching sports, and hitting on women while listening to said music.

Did you see the Phillies game last night?  19 innings?  Wilson Valdez?  Flipping amazing!

Doris, Moorestown, NJ

I hung in for all 19 innings (it did help that the bar I was at had $1 Miller High Life’s during the game).  Thank god Romero picked off Brandon Phillips because if the strike zone was the length of a barn he couldn’t find it.  I was really nervous when Valdez came in to pitch, especially since it was the heart of the Reds lineup, but he got the job done.  I did get a good laugh when he shook Sardina off when Votto was at bat.  Little known fact:  Valdez was the first position player since Babe Ruth in 1921 to start a game as a position player and get a win.

Who would pay $10 for a six pack of O’Douls?

Tommy, Gary, IN

Simply put; an asshole.

What’s your take on the state of the NFL?  Do you think there will be a season in the fall?

Brad- Birmingham, AL

The NFL is in a sad state of affairs at the moment.  I don’t see a season happening this year and honestly I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better.  Hard feelings are starting to develop and level heads won’t prevail.  I just hope it gets resolved without the owners trying to bring replacement players in.  Scab football is a fraud.

I’ll be in Philadelphia next month for a business trip.  Where is the best place to get a cheese steak?

Bridget- Raleigh, NC

I hope you enjoy your stay in Philly.  We’re really not the assholes everyone makes us out to be.  When it comes to cheesesteaks most people head to South Philly and go to Pat’s or Gino’s (they are located right across the street from each other).  If given the choice between those two, I’d say go to Pat’s.  If you want a little less touristy spot, Jim’s Steaks on South Street would be my choice.

If you do head down to Pat’s or Gino’s, be sure to wash it down with a cold one at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar.  They’ll treat you right (I’m sitting here now).

On another note, when will you be in town?  Why don’t you email me some photos and maybe I’ll be your tour guide, if you catch my drift.

The Indians are real hot right now, what do you think their chances are in the AL Central for the rest of the season?

Jim- Cleveland, OH

I briefly addressed this in an article earlier this week.  The Injuns are a paper dragon.  They are playing way over their heads right now and simply will come back down to reality.  This is already starting to be shown by the ass-kicking the Red Sox have been handing them this week.  Eventually I think the Tigers will take control of the division.  The Twins are barely breathing, Ozzie Guillen continues to sink the White Sox, and the Royals, while young and talented are just shitty.

Fear not Jim, at least you’ll get a good draft pick in next July’s amateur draft.  Good luck with the Cavs and Browns as well.  I feel for you.  It has to be bad enough living in a city like Cleveland aside from having crap sports teams.

Boxers or Briefs?

Scott- Boulder, CO

Really???  Um, this is a bit personal and a bit weird coming from a dude, but I’ll play ball.  Let’s just say I’m a commando kind of guy (got to watch the zipper though because that can get tricky).  I hope this fulfills your wet dream.

I was really pleased with your articles about hockey returning to Winnipeg.  As a long time Jets fan my NHL heart has been homeless.  Do you think they’ll be any other relocations coming to Canada?

Gayle- Winnipeg, MN

I would love more hockey in Canada and I really hope it happens.  Hockey is not an American sport so to have teams in Miami and Dallas is just stupid.  I would love to see a team back in Quebec and maybe one in Hamilton.  The fact that the NHL has to own a team in Phoenix is flat out pathetic, and for the NHL to gain any momentum change needs to happen.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Harris- Haywood, CA

In a week or daily?  How does one actually “chuck” wood?  There are too many questions for me to ponder here to actually give a quantified answer.  Here’s a question to you.  How come no one has a “rumpus room” anymore?

This entire article is absolutely ludicrous, but I will stick to one subject that just jumps off the map. You come to the conclusion that golf is not a sport because, "rich, white people play it." So because people play it as a recreation means it's not a sport as well. What about the "rich, white men" playing pickup basketball games during evenings? Are you trying to say that is not a sport as well because it is also played recreational? A recreational activity is defined as doing something that you find to be fun. Why can't a sport be fun? You also seem to lack understanding on the idea of golf. You mention that you just have to whack a ball 450 yards into a little hole. How about the fact that the hole has trees around the corner that you must judge, all while trying to keep the ball in the middle of the fairway? Why is this a sport? Because it takes an absolutely insane amount of coordination to pull off and more practice than any of the major sports to master. The reference you make to a "man with duct tape and a van" also makes no sense whatsoever. What does that have to do with golf? Absolutely nothing. It is a disgusting statement that does not need to be in the argument. Comparing mini golf to regular golf? There is absolutely no comparison whatsoever. Regular golf consists of driving, hitting iron shots, and using your wedge when off the green. In regular golf you are on the green for maybe 2-3 shots each hole, while reading very difficult break along the way. Your rationality for golf not being a sport is because: rich, white people play it, there is a mini version of it, and John Daly isn't an athlete. Have you seen some of the athletes in baseball? There are pitchers, such as David Wells, who were more out of shape than John Daly. There are NFL linemen weighing over 355 pounds, and you are saying that John Daly is not an athlete? What about Tiger Woods? He can bench press over 300 pounds and is in better shape than most professional athletes. Why don't you try to fully watch and analyze the sport before saying it is a foolish game? You may learn that there are a lot more hardships involved than mini golf. This argument is pathetic and down right stupid. You have no facts backing up this post and it is just a rambling, terrible argument on your behalf. By the way, obviously the Olympic Committee disagrees with you as well as they are initiating golf as an Olympic sport for the summer Olympics.

Aaron- Parts Unknown

In all fairness, this wasn’t an actual email sent to me.  This was a comment made on my “Sport or No Sport” article but for some reason it didn’t post.  I don’t want Aaron to think his comment was deleted and not addressed, so I figured I’d address it here.  Aaron didn’t provide his location, so like the former wrestler The Missing Link, he’ll be from “Parts Unknown”.

Aaron,

Thank you for your comment and your concerns, but with all due respect, your argument has more holes in it than a block of Jarlsburg cheese.

The first thing you mention is “Rich White Men”.  Did you actually read my article?  When did I ever bring any type of race into it?  I said it’s a leisure activity for the rich.  I also mentioned doctors and lawyers.  Are you implying that minorities cannot be successful?  That’s not very nice.

I agree with you that sports, like recreational activities, are fun.  So are games.  I enjoy a day in the sun playing disc golf, but guess what.  While it’s fun, it’s not a sport.

Trees?  Really?  They’re hiding around the corner?  From what, a bodega?  It’s not like these trees are jumping out in front of you and guarding the hole (that might make golf a sport).  Again, as someone who plays disc golf, I know about those big scary trees.

You didn’t get my duct tape and van comment because you clearly lack a sense of humor.  I don’t want to toot my own horn but it was pretty funny. (Chris agrees, hilarious)

You reference coordination.  Auto-erotic asphyxiation also takes coordination (ask Michael Hutchence, oh wait, he’s dead) and that’s not a sport either.  What golf takes is practice.  You need a lot of free time to dodge those trees and make sure the ball lands on the wide fairway.  If golf didn’t cost so much, 90% of the unemployed would be professionals.

If anything mini-golf can help a golfer.  It’s good practice for a short game, especially if you can get it through the windmill.

It’s an absolute f*cking stretch to try and compare an NFL lineman to John Daly.  Daly is a fat drunk who chain smokes while he golfs.  An NFL lineman might weigh a lot, but they have cat-like reflexes, and are probably faster than you.

Do you really think Tiger Woods can bench press 300 lbs.?  I’ll give you my left testicle if he can do that.  Wilson Valdez has a better chance of benching 300 lbs. than Tiger Woods.  Woods is good at one thing and that’s banging strippers.

If you think my argument is “down right stupid”, you clearly didn’t get my point.  You read golf wasn’t a sport and closed your small mind, then came up with a poorly thought-out response.

Just because the Olympics are adding golf to their agenda doesn’t make it a sport.  Curling is an Olympic sport, and that’s the furthest thing from an actual sport.  If it were, janitors would be the greatest athletes in the world.

Im not done with you cuz.  I went to Rays and didn’t see you.  Stop trying to hide from me cuz.  You douche who makes fun of my wife?  I’m gonna make sure you pay for it come hello or hiwater.

Vince- Philadelphia, PA

Vince,

What’s up buddy?  You are my favorite person from Kensington, even if you have more fingers than teeth.  Here’s a couple quick takes for you.  How do you know you didn’t see me, considering you have no clue what I look like? (although your wife knows I’m a spitting image of Richard Greco) I’m also not hiding from you.  It’s not like you’re hiding from actual employment.  I never made fun of your wife, but I can if you’d like. (there is plenty of material with that shitshow, which in hindsight doesn’t say much for me) The best part of your email is that your grammar has slightly improved.  I’m glad those night GED classes are working out for you.

Keep the faith Vince.  Jay loves you.

What do you think the Mavericks' chances are in the NBA finals?

Glenn- Fort Worth, TX

I like their chances and I’m pulling for them.  I want the Heat to crash and burn in the worst way.  Also, I’ve always been a big fan of Jason Terry and always thought he never got the respect he actually deserved.  They have a deep veteran team and have better defense then the Bulls or Heat. 

I recently found out my wife has been having an affair with my long time friend.  As much as I want to leave I love her and I can’t.  She promised me it’s over and it will not happen again.  Am I foolish for forgiving her?

Alan- Ocala, FL

Alan,

Don’t take this the wrong way but are you mentally retarded?  Your wife is f*cking your friend and you’re essentially being a punk.  How I see it you can do one of two things here.

1 – Stop being a pussy and beat the living shit out of your so-called friend (which should happen regardless), and ditch that filthy whore you married.

OR

2 – Pimp her out!  If she’s good at what she does in the sack your buddies shouldn’t be getting it for free.  You possibly have a giant cash cow on your hands, and with today’s economy, it’s like having a second job without working.

Personally, I’d opt for option two.

If I didn’t get to your email, my apologies I promise to get to them.  If you have a question for Dr. Jay, send them to shatmeself@yahoo.com, and I’ll be happy to accommodate.

Riot!-isms

With the football lockout continuing to drag along, I'm fearful that the NFL will start late or dare I say it cancel there season altogether. Not because I love the NFL that much (I do), but the real reason is I will be so sad not to see that fat, comb over wearing, over paid, over played, and over hyped wind bag Chris Berman on my TV the first Sunday in September. Once an innovative and funny play by play guy, reporter and anchor has become a bad comedian with a bad shtick, and an even worse comb-over. The Berman-ism was his most fun and innovative contribution to the ESPN brand back in the mid 80's and in my opinion was the beginning of the Sportscenter you see today. For those who don't know, a Berman-ism is the nicknames he gives players during his broadcasts.  I don't know if that's an official title, but that's what I call them.  Here are some of the great examples from the past: Jay "Ferris" Buhner, Bert "Be Home" Blyleven, Jeff "see through" Blauser, and my all time favorite Mark Carreon "My wayward son." That was 20 years ago. Over the past 10 years or so he hasn't done the nicknames as often, and when he tries to pull out a newbie, it's just not good.  I think the last one I heard was during the All Star Game last season and he said Josh "Alexander" Hamilton. Well, it's a nice name, and a good way to honor an ex-prez, but it's not creative at all. I actually thought that it might have been his actual middle name (it's Holt BTW). I think Berman needs to shake it up and do a show on satellite radio or HBO, and work a little blue with his Berman-isms.  Maybe he's feeling a little held down by the restraints of such a family friendly company and network like Disney and ESPN.  So we here at The Riot! have decided to give Chris Berman a push, and come up with some of our own, not safe for ESPN, Berman-isms. Now, not all of these are R-Rated, but most will be.

Buster "ankle" Posey (sorry Giants fans, looks like a repeat just isn't in the cards)
Serge "Chew" Ibaka
Derrick "bloom is off the" Rose (he better step up tonight)
Tim Lincecum "in a sock"
RA "Big Fat" Dickey
Ben "gettin' busy between the" Sheets
Rick Welts "Asses"
Kevin "Corn on the "Kolb
"S"Cam Newton (just a thought)
Vince "Likes'em" Young
JaMarcus "can't put the burger down, you fat fuck" Russell (well it's true. I didn't say they were all going to be cute either)
Miguel Tejada "you pay this guy to play baseball anymore....he sucks"
Mary Pierce"d her nips"
Bob Costas "millions after he came out of the closet"
Joe Buck "'em all"
Tiger Woods "if he could" (If you know what I mean.......He likes the whores)
Doug Weight "and see" (he retired today, good player)
Evgeni Malkin"tent"
Duane Wade "through the bitches"
Ray "the murderer" Lewis (a little truth in a nickname)
Novak "choke a bitch" (if you know who this is, I'm impressed)

It's a start. I know they are not great, but they are better than what the old man is putting out these days. Send us your ideas for new Berman-isms, and lets get this off the ground. Send all submissions to thesportsriot@yahoo.com, and we will forward them to the infinite comb over.

The Anatomy of the Cursed Franchise Part 1 of 3

The San Jose Sharks lost the last 2 games of the Western Conference Finals to the Vancouver Canucks, in a fashion that will have them shaking their heads for years to come. A few weeks back, I said that I was seeing the birth of sport's newest cursed franchise in the San Jose Sharks when they almost choked away a 3-0 lead in a series against the Detroit Red Wings. So I wrote this piece, and then Blogger, our host, crashed and lost it for a week. But as with so many things in life, timing is everything, and after what I've witnessed in Games 4 & 5 of this series between the Sharks and the Canucks, the Teal is officially a cursed franchise. So to make my case, I will delve into the anatomy of a cursed franchise.  From my own experiences, I can smell a curse from a thousand miles away, and boy, the Bay Area reeks of it.  I thought it was the Giants last year, but they shed their curse, so it must have been the Teal all along. Here we go.

1- When you make all the right moves and they still don't work

      *Look, sometimes things don't work out when you get a new player or coach, but when sometimes turns into every time, you've been cursed. Example : When the New York Baseball Metropolitans signed Johan Santana.  This is the end of a long line of no-brainers that missed for the Mets. Johan Santana came to the Mets with the title Best Pitcher in Baseball.  Since arriving, he's been injury-plagued and unable to stay on the field. Prior to arriving in NYC, he had pitched over 200 innings in all but 1 full season of his career; he has only done that once in 3 seasons with the Mets, and has yet to step on the bump this season. Couple that with a long line of "no brainers" (Juan Samuel, Bobby Bonilla, Mel Rojas, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, Generation K and the worst signing of all time Mo Vaughn) and you have the firm beginnings of a curse.

      *A Sharks example would be the acquisition of goaltender Antii Niemi from the Stanley Cup champion Blackhawks.  Niemi was the reason the Hawks were able to beat the Sharks in the conference finals last year.  So the Sharks decided a better goaltender was the answer, right?  They had offensive firepower with Marleu, Thornton, Heatly, and the rest to get it done-- it was the goalie's fault, right?  And last year that was the case, but what happened here? First of all, Niemi got off to a dreadful start and was injured a bit this year, but the true sign of a curse came in Game 6, when the Red Wings had pelted Niemi with 33 shots to the Sharks 13, and the Sharks held a 1-0 lead.  The Sharks eventually lost 3-1, but Niemi had made 43 saves, and the Sharks mustered only 20 shots. The thing that cost them last season was no longer the issue, it was offense. See the curse in action? Fast forward to this past series and this time, the Sharks out shot the Canucks 91-47 and Niemi made 40 saves. When offense is supposed to be your strong suit and you are out-shooting your opponent that badly, it should net you some goals. Cursed.


2- When you lose a game or a series and can't explain how or why

       *This principle applies more to the post-season than the regular season.  Weird crap happens in the regular season all the time.  Blips on the screen, anomalies if you will.  But in the postseason, boy they scream curse when these "blips on the screen" occur every year.  I have 2 personal experiences for this one.  I don't remember exactly what year it was, maybe '91;  it was one of the Penguins' Stanley Cup years.  Those great Lemieux teams which were a thorn in my Rangers' side for that whole decade.  But the Rangers had an up and coming team that season with it being Messier's first season with the club. Then you had Leetch and the 2-headed goalie monster of Richter and Vanbiesbrouck, and they gave the Pens all they could handle before the curse took over. I believe it was Game 6 in Pittsburgh, the Rangers had a 3-2 lead in the series and had forced OT in dramatic fashion with a last minute goal.  OT started, and early in the 1st OT, I believe it was one of the Samuelssons who shot the puck into the Rangers zone from his own blue line, it bounced off of the back boards, Vanbiesbrouck went to go play it off the back boards, and it bounced off of him and into the net, thus ending the game.  Game 7 was the Lemieux show, and the rest is history.  The curse-- you know it when you see it. 

Another favorite example is when the Jets traveled to Pittsburgh in 2005 and they had 2 chances at game winning field goals from a dependable Doug Brien and missed them both.  One at the end of regulation, one in OT; both very makeable.  In a game where every possible break went the Jets' way, to lose like that reeks of the curse.

     *A Sharks example would be to reference Game 5. They had a 3-0 lead in the 3rd period, and to give up 4 unanswered goals in that period is stunning.  Considering how stellar Niemi had been in net, and then to have the performance he had in Game 6 and lose, it's beginning to look alot like curseville. After they finally beat the Wings in Game 7, I thought the curse stuff could wait another year, but no, this series with the Canucks, even though not quite as devastating as choking away a 3-0 lead, was still pretty bad. First, in game 4 the Sharks had 5 consecutive power plays and failed to score.  They outplayed the Canucks in all but 5 minutes of Game 4, but what a bad 5 minutes it was.  After the 5 Power Plays, the Canucks got a 5 on 3 chance, and score in roughly 18 seconds, 1-0. Then, the 5 on 4 chance continued and became another 5 on 3 about 30 seconds later when the bench was called for a too many men on the ice penalty.  The Canucks scored on the first shot of that PP, 2-0. The original 5 on 4 finally ended, but then about 3 minutes later, the Sharks were again facing a 5 on 3 and-- guess what happened-- scored on the second shot about 40 seconds in, 3-0. Game set match. Can you smell it?

3- When strange things happen for no reason

   *You know the moment when you see it. Like the forces of nature are against you, and there is nothing you can do about it. Two examples come to mind. The first was Game 5 of the 1997 NLCS when Eric Gregg gave Livan Hernandez a king-sized strike zone.  The Braves were befuddled as Hernandez struck out 15. The 2nd one was the weirdest thing I've ever seen.  In 1993 when the Rangers were favored to win the cup, they got a taste of the curse before they ended it in 1994. The Rangers were playing in Toronto, and Brian Leetch, widely regarded as the leagues best defensemen at the time, went into his own zone to collect the puck when he fell into the boards feet first, breaking his ankle and ending his season.  This is hockey; injuries occur, I'm aware of that. But the weird part of this scenario is that there wasn't a player within 10 feet of Leetch when he fell.  Nobody.  If you watch the play, it looks like he was trying to avoid something. What, I don't know.  Maybe it was the curse coming for him, like those black, screechy things in the movie Ghost.  It was bizarre.

     *I didn't have a Sharks example at the time I originally wrote this, but I do now.  Game 5 in Vancouver, the Sharks played about as good a game as you could imagine while being down 3-1 in hostile territory, but the curse grabbed on, and is not letting go of San Jose. The Sharks were up 2-1 with 30 seconds left in the game. The Canucks dumped it deep into the Sharks zone.  Sharks' D recovered behind the net and cleared out off the glass, the puck rolled all the way down for an apparent icing.  The Sharks bench went nuts, claiming the puck bounced off of a Sedin's shoulder and then rolled down, thus negating the icing.  Refs weren't buying it; non reviewable so the call stood. In the ensuing face-off in the Sharks zone, Ryan Kessler put home a tying goal thus sending this one into OT. Upon further review, the puck did indeed hit a Sedin's shoulder. The refs blew the call. Cursed. On a side note, Ryan Kessler, who scored the game tying goal, pulled a Willis Reed on the Sharks by limping off the ice in the 2nd period, and then coming back to score the game-tying goal very late in the 3rd. Worse off, did you see the game winner in OT? I'll let the video tell this story.

If you don't think you're cursed after losing a series like that, I don't know what to tell you.

4- When the loses get more painful and heart wrenching every year.

     *Boy, this is the best part of the sports curse, THE PAIN. Here's where you know for sure, 1000%, it's a curse and not just stepping stones to a championship.  You start to look around and see the fear in everyone's eyes when the big game is approaching.  That's what I saw last week at my kid's school and the grocery store when I saw people on their way to work talking about game 7. The inevitably of the heart wrenching defeat.  Then the victory happened, and it all went away...for a moment or two.  But when it sneaks up on you like the odd carem off the boards in OT last night did, it stings for even longer. I want to be clear here-- any loss would be heart breaking and devastating, but the curse loss is excruciating and will stick with you for years. My best example is the most recent one, the 2011 AFC championship game.  Jets and Steelers.  For the first time ever, I believed in the Jets.  I thought they could win this one.  After a 21-3 halftime deficit burst my bubble, I was actually OK.  I accepted it. It was over.  I watched the second half just because that's what fans do, but the pain was already dealt with; it was just football at that point.  But then the comeback began and before I knew it, the Jets had gotten within 5 points with 3 minutes to go.  All they needed was a stop, and there I was on my floor praying for the stop.  It never came.  Big Ben completed an all time 3rd down conversion, thus sealing the game and further crushing Jets fans' spirits for another year.  It does get worse with every year.  Last year, it was the Jets who just couldn't get over the hump against Peyton and the Colts, but this year, we believed, gave up, and then believed again.  THEY KILLED ME TWICE! Now that's a curse for you.

*The Sharks had a bunch of subtle signs before this post-season, but this postseason to me, coupled with the other more subtle examples, have a curse on their hands.  It's a brand new curse, and it can be broken, but don't wait. Get it out now. A few more seasons like this, and it will set in and be increasingly more difficult to shake. Before you know it, chants of 40 years will ring from the Kings or the Ducks rafters. Take it from a Rangers, Mets and Jets fan, I know what shaking the curse is like.

So Sharks fans, pray and pray hard that you can shake this curse soon because it's at your doorstep and ringing the doorbell like a Jehovah's Witness on a Sunday afternoon. You've opened the door, and now it will never stop coming back.  Before you know it, you'll have a stack of "Watchtower" pamphlets on your shelf and a lifetime of pain and misery in the form of black and teal jerseys.

So it's been 20 good years, and this franchise has had some moderate success, but heed this warning, a curse does not make you a bad franchise. The Kansas City Royals are not cursed, they just suck.  Bad management, no money, and a bad system set up by the MLB has plagued the Royals, not a curse.  The New York Mets are cursed.  The Jets are cursed.  Teams that have the means, appear to make the right moves, and then inevitably crash and burn.  OH! and I must not forget the pain.  The key element to  the cursed franchise is the pain.  That's what makes it a curse. Some teams just don't win.  Like the Clippers.  WTF? They have the means but they never make the right move. They just lose, and fans of the Clippers expect that, all the time.  There is no hope for a Clippers fan.  But the Sharks for several years now have been considered a top tier franchise and they have nothing to show for it.  And every year it seems to get worse.   More painful.  So, great people of the Bay Area, pray and pray hard that the Sharks can shake this curse and shake it early, because if they don't, "Feel the Teal" will now be "Feel the Pain" because that's what's coming.  Sharks fans, you are at a crossroad. It's either a team that's on the rise and needs to a piece or two to win it all or it's the fear every time the big moment arrives. You know it when you feel, you get the feeling of impending doom, and inevitably the teal will go down in the most heartbreaking of ways. On the up side, a curse may create some buzz.  With the Giants winning the World Series last year, the Sharks would be the only curse in town, so that's something right?

So What IS Next?

Well, either The Rapture happened this weekend and I didn’t have a ticket to Heaven, or the asshole that made this up in California had his math wrong (he already miscalculated in 1994).  I still see the people I see daily but I hang out with sinners, so I’m still on the fence about the whole Rapture thing. But we all know it was clearly bullshit.

The whole end of the world idea had given me some time to ponder some things, but clearly not the type of things most would (like getting affairs in order, making peace with people, trying to backdoor in my way into heaven, etc.).  I do nothing but digress.

-          My rapture party included some drinks at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar (there’s no way I was heading to Hell without seeing Tony Coach for a drink), and attending the Philllies game.  The Phillies told the Rapture to stick it by watching Cliff Lee dominate and trounce the Rangers 2-0 (my personal attendance record is 5-1 this year).  Even though the Phillies offense has been shitting the bed this year, they still have the best record in the National League, so I really can’t bitch (even though the Philly media is acting like the sky is falling).

-          Before the game, a lady and I attended a pre-game tailgate party.  It was free food and beer from 3:30-6:30.  Due to someone not being on time (and that someone wasn’t me), we didn’t arrive until 4:30.  This allowed us to take advantage of free beer for the remaining two hours.  Twelve Millers in two hours wasn’t half bad, but probably not the smartest move.

-          I’m a little sick and tired of custom made jerseys.  Unless you are on the team, don’t put your f*cking name on the back.  You need to earn the name on the back of that jersey. When you put your name or a nickname (which is even more absurd, screw you XFL) on the back of a team's jersey, you look like an asshole.  Other things I can do without at a game are visors, flip-flops and tank tops.  Dudes, you’re at a sporting event, not the f*cking beach.  Get with the damn program.  Oh, ladies, you’re not out of the woods either.  It’s a sporting event.  Save the hoochie dress, gobs of makeup (which looks like war paint), and the bamboo earrings for the club.  When you dress like that at a game you look like common street trash.

-          I have a personal vendetta against two people;  Kirk Cameron and David Spade.   Cameron, because he’s a religious zealot assbag and Spade, because he’s an unfunny douchebag.  Be on the lookout fellas. I got my eyes on you.

-          Cleveland, I hate to disappoint you, but the Indians will not keep up this pace.  The fact they have a 30-15 record is extremely surprising, but reality will set in.  Josh Tomlin leads the team with six wins, but this is a façade.  He’s a young pitcher that teams haven’t seen yet and as the innings pile up, so will his losses.  The same goes for Justin Masterson.  Enjoy it while it lasts, Cleveland.  Aside from living in a city that is a marginal step up from Detroit and Newark, your baseball team will collapse in the second half of the season, your basketball team is a joke. And don’t get me started on the Browns. Also, put away those stupid dog masks. I get the fact Cleveland is full of ugly women, but you’re only making things worse.

-          Former KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent was arrested for beating his wife and then dragging her through broken glass (I guess she didn’t do the laundry).   It's a good thing he isn't a black athlete; it might be front page news.

-          David Spade is an unfunny douchebag.

-          The city of Atlanta has the world’s worst fans.  In an effort to save their hockey franchise, they held a rally for support.  Only 200 people showed up.  F*cking embarrassing.  Any Thrashers fan in Atlanta should be ashamed of themselves.

-          Nickelback is the world’s worst band.  Not just because they are Canadian.  Because they are f*cking terrible.

-          Kirk Cameron is an asshole.

-          I overheard someone on Sunday at a private Italian social club refer to basketball at “Tree Hockey”.  I was mildly amused, yet it is still on my mind.

-          Rumors are circulating people are going to sue that evangelist who predicted the rapture because they ran up a bunch of credit and now they have to pay it back.  As funny as I do find it, there’s no lawsuit here.  If you were that much of an opportunist scumbag to run up credit, actually believing the world was going to end, you’re a dumb bastard.  Don’t run up debt and then blame Jesus.

      There you have it.  The Rapture has come and gone, and I’m still roaming Philly drinking and being a marginal f*ck up. 

Sharks Vs Canucks Game 5

It's do or die for the teal in Vancouver.  The hope for the Sharks is that they actually played very well in Game 4 and should've won that game.  But when you're on the cusp of being a cursed franchise, things like 3 consecutive 5-on-3 goals will happen to you.  Let's see what kind of agony will happen to the Sharks tonight. Cursed or not, we shall see.  FEEL THE TEAL!!!!! <yuck>

1st Period

2000 left - The Sharks need to come out strong here and take the vancouver faithful out early.

1819 left - Sharks look sharp. Great play by Thornton. I'm feeling the Teal, like a seal.

1000 left - Uh Oh time for the Teal. Sedin twins working there magic as they perform some twin voodoo on the SHark D. Luongo continues to stifle the Sharks, and those crazy Canucks are up 1-0. I'm willing to root for the Canucks, but only if they bust out those old school jerseys.

735 left - still 1-0 Vancouver and I have to say the Sharks continue to play very well, but no luck. The curse may be looming, especially since they are dealing with creepy twins.  God twins are creepy.

550 left - Sharks about to get a power play.  Not that it helped last game, 0-5 on the PP, but hopefully they will break through on this one.  I don't want to appear impartial here, but I would actually like to see the Sharks win this one.  It's of local interest being in the Bay Area right now so DON'T JUDGE ME!!!! Besides, it's The Riot! I can do what I want.

540 left - Oh NO! nothing worse than celebrating a goal and then finding out it didn;t go in. What a dick, Thornton. But a 5-3 opportunity coming up for the Sharks.  Do or Die now.

443 left - Luongo is a brick wall. What a Save!

358 left - The difference between these teams was just exhibited.  Vancouver gets a 5-3 in Game 4, and score in 1 shot. Sharks have a 5-3 for 90 seconds.....nothing. Still 1-0 Canucks.

200 left - Sharks are outshooting the Canucks 18-5, but trail 1-0. WOW!

50 seconds left - Heatly looks shaky after that hit. 

End of the 1st period - Canucks are clinging to a 1-0 lead. Sharks are doing what they need to do to win, they just can't seem to.  Are they cursed, we shall see.

Intermission
*Mike Milbury just said "They are definitely fighting through, not in a redneck way, but they are fighting through." Wtf is Mike talking about. Good thing he's on Vs. where nobody is watching.

*Interesting note, today is the 17th anniversary of the last time the Canucks earned a berth in the Stanley Cup Finals when they defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs 4-1 in Game 5.

2nd Period
1303 left - Bad turnover by the Sharks, but "CLANG!" the post is your friend. Still 1-0 Van.

1120 left, another PP opportunity for the Sharks.

1003 left all kinds of things happening.  First off, Sharks get on the board on the PP, kind off a weak goal by Luongo maybe the kind of thing the Sharks need to break through but more importantly, Ryan Kessler goes off the ice after pulling up lame.  He limped off. That would be a huge loss for the Canucks if the injury is significant.

632 left - WOW! the Canucks are so f#$king good offensively.  they are so fluid, and effortless, it's fun to watch. Sharks going on the PP. I'm starting to feel it a little.  Feel what you ask? THE TEAL!!!!!

54.6 left - Damon Bruce a local sports talk radio host here in the Bay Area just tweeted the following "Craig Sager's sports coat is so aggressive, I'm not worried about it breaking my TV, I'm worried it may start World War Three." It made me laugh. 1-1 at the end of 2. Hold on tight fans of the Teal, it's going to be a bumpy 3rd.  Talk to you then.

3rd Period
So I haven't forgotten about you puckers over here, but true to form, the NBA has my attention.  There is 3 minutes to go over there, so I will be back then.

938 left - Sorry, Heat-Bulls in OT. Sharks have life after a very nice goal by Setaguchi very early in the 3rd. Sharks holding on 2-1.

13.2 left - As the NBA finishes up, i go over to the NHL and Vancouver ties it as I turned it on. 2-2, headed to OT and oh boy, the Sharks are slouching.  This does not look good for the Canucks. Apparently there was a terrible call by the refs, but no matter, Overtime is on the menu.  I'm with Hockey full time from here on out, after intermission, it's literally Do or Die for the Sharks.  Hold on tight Sharkies.

OT
A side note, we have a Willis Reed moment here. Ryan Kessler went out in the 2nd period with what looked like a serious injury and came back to score the game tying goal. Hockey players are bad-ass.

1740 left - Early domination by the Canucks.  You can see that the Sharks are playing a little nervous.  Can't play like that in OT in the playoffs, bad things happen.

1356 left - What a save by Luongo.  Sharks really starting to pick it up.

1305 left - Luongo is winning this series for the Canucks. If they win tonight, he may need to be MVP of the series.

733 left - How are the Sharks NOT winning this game.  They have dominated the majority of the flow, they are outshooting the Canuck 49-26, 14-6 in OT. These have been pretty good shots too, not just throw at the net type of crap.

335 left - Sharks are starting to look a little tired.  This is a dangerous situation with the skill players the Canucks have.  One tired mistake can end your season.

150 left - WOW, close call in the Sharks crease.  Told you, getting tired. Be careful.

End of the 1st OT - Well, I'm going to call it a night with a prediction.  The Sharks will fall halfway through the 2nd OT with a Sedin goal of some sort because, the twins are f^&king creepy. Sorry, after 52 shots on goal, Luongo will make some sort of a sick save, and then the Canucks will come down and end it.  Thanks for spending this night with me.

Heat Vs Bulls Game 4

1st Quarter
7 minutes left in the 1st quarter - Bulls responding well after a slow start.  Quieting the obnoxious Miami crowd during an 11-2 run.

630 left is the 1st - Wow, that's a lot of white shirts.  that kind of goes along with Winnipeg Jets day, they were famous for doing the "White Out" during games up in Winnipeg.

614 left in the 1st - Joakim Noah has a chunky beard and bad hair.  Just sayin'.

607 left in the 1st - Bulls in the penalty already, not a good sign.

528 left - Big play by Noah, they are going to need that in order to win this game.  It's sad that a basketball team has to depend on the great Yannick Noah's son.  Who saw that coming 20 years ago?

422 left - Bulls are playing like it's not over.  Screw you ESPN for crowning the Heat-les king so early.

349 left - Haslem in, has really given the Heat big contributions, let's see what he does here.

121 left - Haslem stems the tied, Rose looks lost. 19-12 Bulls.

55.2 left - Bulls not shooting well.  Figuring they are from chi-town, shooting should be easy for them.

End of 1st quarter - Rose looks very lost, Heat end the quater on a 8-0 run and I want to stab myself. Not a Bulls fan, I just hate the Heat.  Always have, even when Harold Minor was on the team.

2nd Quarter
1114 left - The Heat are now on 16-0 run and it's starting to look grim for the Bulls.

commercial break - Has anyone seen "Hangover 2?" I'm not sure about that one.  It looks like the same movie, just not as funny.

645 left - My 10 year old presents me with a book he made so I have to stop looking at the game a indulge him.  Ahhhhh, parenthood. Preventing game watching since...well forever. Heat up by 7, Rose still looks lost.

530 left - Rose breaks Chalmers ankle, but can't finish. Miami turns around and makes it a 9 point lead....with LBJ on the bench.  Sorry ESPN for dogging you earlier, maybe they are ready for the coronation?

503 left - First Noah stuffs Halem, and then LBJ just wrecks Rose with a rejection and then a patented LeBron taunt. God I hate him.

401 left - My 8 year old is throwing a fit, thus again preventing me from taking this game in.  I will go to the other room and check on the NHL, the kids are not in there. Heat by 5.

11.8 seconds left - Well, well, well. The Bulls have some heart.  After a 5 minute trip to Vancouver, I come back to Miami to find the Bulls have taken a 2 point lead, and end the half with that lead.  They end the half on an 18-7 run. Halftime score 46-44 Bulls.

Halftime
*The Blake Griffin commercial for the "Rage" video game is hilarious.

2nd Half
3rd Quarter
812 left - The Bulls have come out ready to even this series up. The have a 7 point lead, and Spolstra looks nervous, calls a T.O.

715 left - a Mike Bibby sighting. Drains a 3 to stop a 9-0 run. God he looks ridiculous with that headband.

300 left - Bulls still up by 6 but call time out to talk it out.  Funny note, right as they calle the TO, Derrick Rose took a shot after the whistle had blown and Bibby partially blocked it.  In the NBA, is it insulting if a player still shoots at your goal after the whistle blows? I know it is in Hockey, I just never played organized B-Ball so I'm not sure the "shot after the whistle" etiquette.

40 seconds - Sound the alarm Lebron just went off to pull within 2. What a jam.

22 sec - Derrick Rose is a man, a bigtime 3.

End of the 3rd - Bulls 68  Heat 63 - Big time 4th coming up.  Will the Bulls puss out and give us that "deer in headlight" look like the Thunder did last night, or will they channel MJ and pull this one out.

4th Quarter
957 left - The Heat just took the lead 70-69 but that's not what I want to comment on.  My God is Chris Bosh ugly. I mean he's not Bud Selig ugly, but he is not a good looking man and the other day he said he wanted to be the "Gentleman" of the NBA.  Well it's a good thing he said "Gentleman" and not best looking. You don't have to be good looking to be a "Gentleman."

700 left - Heat up by one. To me this is the series. If the Heat win this one, there is no way they lose this series. When you have to superstars and one star, plus a decent back-up cast, you don't often lose 3 games in a row. In a star driven sport like Basketball, that would be a large hill to climb. 70-69 Heat.

448 left - Noah and Boozer are playing big time ball tonight. Bulls up 3.  Then Boozer levels Bosh, and Bosh takes offense. Flagrant Foul on Boozer. Poor timing, but I love to see Bosh hit the floor.

253 left - A Mike Miller sighting, on the same night a s a Mike Bibby sightling. Tied at 80 with 3 to go, this is what it's all about.  The Bulls are playing very well, and the Heat have non-Stars doing it for them. LBJ may be the next Jordan afterall. <Skip Bayless's head just exploded> His D is tremendous. Not since Jordan have I seen a superstar play D like that.

210 left - Well, that was a tremendous shot by James, and 1.  LBJ the closer? Heat up 1.

158 left - LBJ going head up with the voted MVP, and gets the steal.  Maybe there was a mistake in the voting.

126 left - Taj "Mahal" Gibson coming off the bench for D. Bulls up 1.

114 left - First play off the bench, Gibson, a D guy, gets faked out of his jock by Bosh. Heat up 1.

100 left - game is tied, cannot ask for more than this.

30 secs - MVP vs MVP, Rose and LBJ head up and D Rose was forced into a fade away jumper that rimmed out, Heat with the ball and I believe this series in their hands after the break.  I'm sorry for those who vote for the MVP, you picked the wrong guy.  DRose is a great player, but LeBron is the Real Deal.  And whoever thinks this isn't his team is not watching.

8.0 secs - LBJ WITH AN OFFENSIVE FOUL? Stunning turn of events.

End of Regulation - Someone please explain this shit to me. I will never understand the hold, hold, hold, hold for 7 seconds and then heave a deep jumper for the win.  Is it just me, or does it make more sense to drive to the hoop, hope for contact, or hope to exploit a double team and kick it out.  Look, I'm no basketball genius, but I've seen this too many times to know this hold crap DOESN'T WORK! I fear the Bulls may have blown there best chance to win this series.

OT 1

343 left - Awful possession by the Bulls. DRose, not very MVP like.

251 left - Where is DWade. Oh, there he is. Bosh with a big shot, Heat up 4.

246 left - During the break the had a bench mic on Tom Thibideux, he's got quit smoking.  that dude has some rasp in his voice. Incidently, Brewer with a huge 3, Bulls down 1.

149 left - That's the kind of ball they need to play. Cut to the damn hoop, stop with the jumpers.

52.7 left - DWade just smacked Deng's shot out of the air. Stu Scott would say "with authority." Indeed.

17.7 left - DWade with another rejection. Hey Mr. Bayless, check who's closing this one, LBJ. Big shot after big shot.

1.4 left - With 1 second left, it's all over but the shouting.  Noah just fouled LBJ hard, but I think James has proven he is the man.  I'm sure Skip Bayless will not give him credit, but it's time to. The Heat win 101-93 in OT, and take a 3-1 lead in the series.  So with the Thunder dead in the water, and the Heat with a commanding lead, is it safe to say Heat-Mavs Round 2.  Should be fun.

On a closing note, I had a mediocre time with this live blogging.  I always here others doing it, and I think I did a great job, but I may not do it again anytime soon. So email me @ thesportsriot@yahoo.com and let me know what you thought of this experience. Thanks.

Top 5 Forgotten Teams of All-Time

So I actually did this last week out of boredom but never posted it.  Well I’m glad I didn’t post it because my inspiration has changed. This weekend, news started to surface that the Atlanta Thrashers had been sold, and were being moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba……which is in Canada for the Atlas impaired.  Hockey will be returning to one of most underrated hockey cities in all of the NHL, Winnipeg.  It is unknown whether or not they will be the “Jets,” but it doesn’t matter to the people of Winnipeg. On Friday when the news first surfaced, hundreds of fans gathered in a popular square in Winnipeg sporting their Jets gear and celebrating the return of the NHL to Winnipeg for the first time since 1994.  So in honor of this news, we would like to present the Top 5 forgotten teams of all time:

5- Vancouver Grizzlies – Some teams made this list because they were great once, but just fade away into the ether of history.  Some made this list because they were exiled to a city in the middle of nowhere.  You know places that are so secluded that you even forget they exist, let alone that there was a professional sports franchise there once.  Then there are those that were just so bad, you felt bad that that city ever had to endure such mediocrity. This is where the Vancouver Grizzlies fall.  6 years of losing, poor attendance and awful team building eventually led to the teams move to Memphis. Let’s throw some Grizzly facts at you.  They never one more than 23 games in a season while in Vancouver. They had 5 head coaches in 6 years. Their first draft pick ever? “Big Country” Bryant Reeves….yikes. Here’s all you need to know about how bad this team was, when I googled the Vancouver Grizzlies, their best players were listed as the following: Bryant Reeves, Sharif Abdur-Rahim, Mike Bibby, and Stromile Swift. Outside of Bibby, there is not a guy on the list that I can’t guard. Yuck.

4- Colorado Rockies (NHL) – When you are a sports fan and you hear the Colorado Rockies, I bet you think of the baseball team right?  Not me.  I think of the NHL franchise formerly known as the Colorado Rockies, but you can call them the New Jersey Devils now. Formerly the Kansas City Scouts, the Rockies make this list not because of any of the other reasons I’ve mentioned already.  They have a very unique place in history.  They get overlooked as a former NHL team for 2 reasons that I don’t think any other team in all of sports can claim.  The first is the aforementioned Major League Baseball team, the Colorado Rockies that began play in Denver in 1993.  The second reason is the huge success the New Jersey Devils have had since coming to NJ in 1983. The Rockies, who weren’t very successful in there short 6-year run in Denver, had a special place in my heart as a child.  First off they had the coolest, ugliest jerseys in NHL history. The second thing was my favorite player as child was former Ranger captain Barry Beck, who began his career with the Colorado Rockies and holds the team record for most points by a rookie; 60. And the last reason was when you’re a child, certain names; funny, heroic, or just badass; stick with you and you pretend you are that person all the time.  Even if you know nothing about them, or if they suck, you are still pretending to be that guy. Glenn “Chico” Resch was that guy. Whenever I would play goalie for anything; hockey, soccer, whatever; I was “Chico.”  Also another significant contribution by this forgotten team was when Don Cherry was hired in ’79-’80 as their head coach, he coined the motto “Come out to the fights and watch a Rockies game break out.” A sentiment that has been associated with hockey ever since. For a team that was only around for 6 seasons, they left an undeniable mark on the NHL.  But yet they are forgotten.

Hall of Famers – Lanny McDonald (nice ‘stache), Don Cherry (head coach, now Canadian institution on Hockey Night in Canada on TV)

3- Winnipeg Jets – One of the most underrated NHL teams ever.  They make this list because of their geographical location; Winnipeg, where is that; and because they had the worst luck of the draw ever.  When they were in the WHL, they appeared in 5 finals in 7 years (winning 3) and were a huge draw in the league. But then the NHL came calling and all there bad luck started.  Upon entering the NHL, 3 of their top 6 scorers were pilfered for an expansion draft, and they had a horrible draft spot (18^th out of 21).  Despite this initial luck, during their first 2 horrendous seasons they were able to draft well, and build a successful team. They consistently made the playoffs, and performed well from that point on.  Unfortunately for the Jets, they were cursed to play in the same conference as the Edmonton Oilers and the Calgary Flames in their hey-day.  Good performing Jets teams were greatly overshadowed by great Calgary teams, and legendary Oiler teams.  The Jets are now known as the Phoenix Coyotes.

 *Hall of Famers – Dale Hawerchuck, Bobby Hull, and Serge Savard

2- Hartford Whalers – Ok, so this poor team.  I really had a hard time with this move back in ’97.  First off, when we do a top 5 jerseys of all time, this team will definitely be there.  They Whalers have one of the coolest looking jerseys in any sport, at any time. And no, not because it’s ugly like the 80’s Canucks or the Colorado Hockey Rockies, oh no, it’s just awesome.  Secondly, again the Whalers have a strong connection to my childhood.  When I was growing up on Long Island in the 80’s we would get WSBK from Boston on our cable system.  They would show Boston Bruins games every weekend with the world’s most drab announcer, Fred Cusick. That guy could put a hyper active kid without his daily riddlin out for the count.  When I was sick as a child and couldn’t sleep I could always count on 2 things to put me out, Bob Ross’s “Joy of Painting” on PBS and Fred Cusick. I digress, the Whalers would have a game on WSBK like once in a while and it would be a treat for me. First off, I never got to see other teams besides the Islanders, Rangers and Bruins until a few years later when ESPN would show them. There seemed to be no schedule for the Whalers on TV either.  Since Hartford was a very small place, when the Whalers would come on it seemed like a feed from a 3^rd world country was finally established and a hockey game broke out.  It was weird. Anyway, the Whalers never really set the world on fire on the ice.  They had some very nice players (Ron Francis, Kevin Dineen, Paul Coffey), and even a legend (Gordie Howe). They had a few good teams, but ultimately they had the same fate as the Jets did.  There good Whaler teams were outdone by great Bruins, Canadiens, and Islander teams. This team is now known as the Carolina Hurricanes, and have won a Stanley Cup since departing for NC.

Hall of Famers -  Gordie Howe, Ron Francis, Paul Coffey, Dave Keon, Bobby Hull, Emile “The Cat” Francis (GM)

1-Philadelphia A’s – The Oakland A’s are one of the most successful franchises in the history of Major League Baseball.  They were a near dynasty in the ‘70’s that rivaled the big red machine. They were an AL dynasty in the late 80’s, and they even are mostly responsible for launching the steroid era in baseball. They have a ton of Hall of Famers (Eck, Fingers, Rickey, Catfish and Goose to name a few) and they continue to be competitive despite being on a shoestring budget from year to year. One fact about the A’s that seems to be completely forgotten, they came from Philly.  That’s right, the Phillies weren’t always the only game in town, it was the A’s of Philadelphia and boy they were good.  With 20 Hall of Famers, 5 championships in 8 appearances, and not just Hall of Famers but legends like Jimmie Foxx, Al Simmons and Lefty Grove, the A’s of Philadelphia were a legendary group.  Unfortunately they seem to blend into history because they moved back in 1954, and there was another team in Philly (The Phillies), that kept fans minds off of the depression that could set in from a team leaving like that. Remember, the Dodgers left Brooklyn in ’57 and I don’t think Brooklyn has been right since.  The thing there was “them Bums” were a good team in the mid 50’s, the A’s of Philly hadn’t won in 24 years, and things weren’t looking up.  After the move to Kansas City in ’55, things only got worse. It wasn’t until Charlie O. Finley brought the team to Oakland in ’68 that the team started to win again. The A’s became a very successful franchise again, thus wiping out all the misery the prior 30 years provided and with it the history of those great Philly teams. As a long time baseball fan, and a knowledgeable one at that, I’m ashamed to say that if it wasn’t for Jimmie Foxx being such a beast, I wouldn’t be very familiar with the Philadelphia A’s.

Hall of Famers – Frank “HR” Baker, Jimmie Foxx, Lefty Grove, Al Simmons, Eddie Collins, Chief Bender, Connie Mack(Mgr), Eddie Plank, Rube Waddel (that dudes name is rube)

And being the only team on this list to win a championship, the Philadelphia A’s won in 1910, ’11,’13, ’29, and ’30.

Hockey Returns to Winnipeg! Damn Right…

God damn I’m in a good mood.  Hockey is returning to its rightful place in Canada.  Word on the street is the True North Co. has bought the Atlanta Thrashers for a mere $110 million and will pay the $60 million to relocate back to Winnipeg.

I know aside from myself, Chris, and the people of Winnipeg, no one really gives a shit, but you should.  Since the Jets left Winnipeg for Phoenix, the providence of Manitoba has been starving for hockey.  Granted they have the Manitoba Moose (which consistently lead the AHL in attendance), but minor league hockey is a joke.  Moving the Thrashers to Winnipeg is the first step in the NHL attempting to correct the mess it is (if you doubt me, read Chris’s blog about the state of the NHL).  The biggest mistake was letting the Jets to leave Winnipeg to begin with.  Shit, since the move the Coyotes have been a joke, Wayne Gretzky proved he cannot coach his way out of a paper bag, and the team is currently owned by the NHL due to blatant financial mismanagement.

The Jets were a historic franchise that boasted some greats like Bobby Hull, Dale Hawerchuk, Teemu Selanne, Darren Turcotte, Alexi Zhamnov, Keith Tkachuk, and one of the league’s best defenseman, Moe Mantha.  In fact the Selanne, Zhamnov, Tkachuk was one of the best lines of the 90’s (I actually owned a Zhamnov jersey at that time).

There’s only one issue I have with this move.  According to Winnipeg’s mayor, the team will not be named The Jets.  Word around the campfire is it’ll be a “Manitoba” team, and will be named the Moose, Thrashers, Falcons, or Polar Bears.  In my not so humble opinion, this is absolute bullshit.  If a team returns to Winnipeg, the only fitting name would be the Jets.  To name it something like the Polar Bears would completely bastardize the franchise.

While this hasn’t been officially announced, it’s happening.  True North has already announced that the Manitoba Moose are being relocated to St. John’s, leaving an open stadium for the NHL in Winnipeg.

Oh, people of Atlanta you’re all f*cking pathetic and I will never shed any tears for you.  You lost the Flames in 1980 and losing the Thrashers in 2011.  This past Sunday the City of Atlanta held a rally to save the Thrashers and a whopping 200 people showed up.  Well done Atlanta, you don’t deserve a hockey team or any sports team for that matter.

I pledge to all of you that once the announcement is made I will go to Mitchell & Ness and have them make me a vintage Moe Mantha jersey.  Well done Manitoba, you’re finally getting real hockey back in Winnipeg.  Now if somehow the Coyotes would relocate to Quebec, all would be right in the world.