I awoke in Richmond feeling like a champ, which is surprising after Buds, pizza, and jailhouse tattoos. I had my morning wake up call, a Pall Mall Menthol, and seized the opportunity to catch a shower.
The shower was… Interesting… The dude who put us up failed to mention the building had no hot water, so it was a cold shower or no shower. I opted for the cold variety. When you’re on the road a shower is a luxury you can’t pass up given the opportunity. Besides, once I was in there for a minute it wasn’t that bad. Think of jumping in a pool on a hot summer day.
Enough about my hygiene; we loaded up and hit the road to Asheville. I don’t know much about North Carolina. In fact aside from the last Fake Boys tour when we played BreastFest, I don’t recall ever being in North Carolina (aside from airplane layovers and driving through it).
The best thing about North Carolina is Cookout. It’s hands down the best fast food place in the entire world. It’s to salivating to explain, so if you know what it is, you understand. If you don’t, go to the NC. It’ll change your life. In full Cookout mode, I done got me (have to play the southern part), a double burger with some chicken nuggets, hush puppies, and a banana, pineapple, cherry, chocolate shake for a mere $7 bucks. God damn it was almost orgasmic.
After my Cookout coma, I slept until we hit Asheville. Well not literally. We did stop to get gas and had a funny conversation about the band The Sheckies.
Although we’ve never played with them, the Fake Boys decided to start a war with them (musical wars are not limited to hip-hop), and I understand why. The band consists of three guys. Two who easily weigh 400 lbs. Classy right??? To make it better the tub-ass singer plays in his underwear and the drummer wears class attire like “Who’s Got MILF” tee shirts. Also, they try to be a total Ramones rip-off, like The Queers (I’m really getting over that scene), and to put icing on the cake, they’re from f*cking New Jersey.
If you have never been to Asheville you’re not missing a ton. It’s the typical North Carolina mountain town. Even so, we had hopes for the show.
We thought wrong. Abortion would be the appropriate term for the show. The promoter, who was a real nice guy had the most negative attitude about the show, mainly because Alkaline Trio was playing Asheville the same night (which is a total f*cking cop-out. Alk3 hasn’t released a decent record in 10 years, and the promoter should have “promoted” the show.). We were supposed to play last but we decided to open for a chance to jump on the Off with Their Heads show in Johnson City.
The band played and sounded great although they played to no one (outside of other bands, the promoter, bartender, and yours truly). We finished the set and loaded the equipment back in the van so we could head to Tennessee.
As were getting ready to leave we ran into The Murderburgers who were playing the same venue the next night but wanted to give us some love. Since they saw us packing up and had nothing to do, they decided to follow us to Johnson City.
The van ride there was interesting. We had to hit the mountains and in a car the curves and up/down freak me the f*ck out (can’t wait until the Rockies). But I was distracted by Jim continuing his NHL ’97 season on NES.
The Bruins are the league’s top, but a crushing loss to the Whalers in overtime started a vendetta. Those bastards… But Adam Oates has stepped up in a big way. We’re hoping its Rick Tocchet’s turn to earn his paycheck,
We arrive in Johnson City. Damn, this place looked liked what someone would thing “America Is”. Very Madmen, 50’s vibe, but a great scene. The Fake Boys have played there numerous times, and JCTN digs them. So for a last minute add to the Dead To Me, Off With Their Head tour at The Hideaway was nothing but a bonus.
The promoter agreed to put us on last but Ryan from OWTH had us on right before them. Goddamn the boys tore it up.
I’ve seen The Fake Boys numerous times and this hands down was their best performance. The energy was insane. Even though they only played 15 minutes between Dead To Me and Off With Their Heads, they dominated.
I manned the merch table as “Off With Their Heads” played, and they were rad. I’m a big fan of theirs so to get to see them unexpectedly was a treat. We’re playing with them next week in Houston, which will be a rad time.
After the show we went back to Wes’s, a friend of the band to crash. After a beer I decided to sack out. I was a bit drunk from the free Pabst at The Hideaway (I think I forgot to mention that hidden bonus), so sleep was my best option.
Asheville blew, but Johnson City definitely made it up. Up next, Atlanta!
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