Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Untouchables - AL West

The AL West is my least favorite division in baseball.  First off it’s the smallest.  It is stupid that there’s actually a four team division (I’ll get to that rant another time). It’s also a division that normally has two good teams (in the past the Angels and Athletics), and two shitty teams (up until last year the Rangers and Mariners).  This makes the shitty teams become divisional punching bags and inflates the records of the better teams.  It’s no different this year, except just different teams suck.  Anyway, let’s see if we can find some untouchables.

Texas Rangers – The defending American League Champions are following up last season’s success with another good showing.  They are currently in first place, ten games over .500.  They boast a seven-game winning streak going into the break and have five All-Stars this year; tying Boston for most in the American League.

*Josh Hamilton – The reigning MVP is the real deal.  He’s been an All-Star in all four of his full seasons in baseball, and brings five tools to the table.  His numbers are a bit down this season, but that’s only because of unfortunate injuries.  Any team would take Hamilton to anchor the middle of their lineup.  The only thing I don’t like about Hamilton is he’s ashamed of his shitty tattoos.  You should always embrace shitty tattoos.

*Elvis Andrus - I thought about naming Adrian Beltre here, but I still have a sour taste in my mouth after he signed that big contract in Seattle, only to play half-assed and collect a paycheck.  Since he hasn’t been consistent, he’s not an untouchable.  Andrus however is.  The centerpiece of the trade sending Mark Teixiera to Atlanta, Andrus is showing signs why he was a Braves top prospect.  A prototypical leadoff hitter, Andrus puts the ball in play and can flat out fly.  Once he’s on base he’s in the opposing pitcher’s head.  A speedy shortstop is something I want if I’m building a team.

Los Angeles Angels – The Angels are a constant force in the AL West and this year is no different, despite Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter and Ervin Santana having first half struggles.  They currently sit in second place, one game behind the Rangers.

*Jarred Weaver – If the season ended today, an argument could be made that Weaver should to win the Cy Young Award.  His pitches have been flat out filthy and no opponent wants to see his name on the lineup card.  Weaver is currently third in wins (11), first in ERA (1.86), sixth in strikeouts (120), and second in WHIP (0.91).  These numbers are the reason Weaver is the starting pitcher for the American League at the All-Star game.

*Dan Haren – I was initial leaning toward Howard Kendrick mainly because I like second baseman that have a good bat and a slick glove, but it’s hard to overlook Haren.  If it wasn’t for the stellar season Weaver is having Haren would be getting a lot more attention.  In saying that, it’s still hard to overlook his 10 wins and 115 strikeouts.  Where ever Haren has pitched he’s had success and he an Weaver are two of the main reasons why the Angels are only a game out of first place.  Another thing I like about Haren is he a durable pitcher who’s had at least 33 starts since his first full season in 2005.

Seattle Mariners - The Mariners are a very streaky team.  At one point this season they were in first place riding a 9 game winning streak.  Now they are in third place limping into the All-Star break seven-and-a-half games out of first place riding a five game losing streak.

*Felix Hernandez – King Felix is the definition of an untouchable player.  A stud pitcher with a fastball in the mid-90’s and nasty breaking pitches.  This is why he’s always in the top 5 in strikeouts and always garners strong Cy Young consideration (he did win it in 2010).  Unfortunately he hasn’t been getting run support, so despite an ERA of 3.19 he only has eight wins.

*Mariner Moose – I get this one is a stretch, but who else is there?  Ichiro is having the worst season of his career and isn’t getting any younger.  Justin Smoak, Dustin Ackley, and Michael Pinada might have a ton of talent and a bright future ahead of them, but until they prove themselves, they are absolutely touchable.  I considered Brandon League, but just don’t like him.  So I’m going with the Moose.  I’m not one who likes mascots.  I find them to be real campy, with exception of the Phillie Phanatic, because he’s a bad sonovbitch.  The Moose is better than those asshole sausages in Milwaukee, Mr. Met in New York, that stupid Marlin in Florida, and those absurd presidents in DC.  Oh, and the rest of the Mariners roster.

Oakland Athletics – Moneyball may be a thing of the past in Oakland.  That self proclaimed genius, Billy Beane (I never liked him either), who spent years running Athletics teams with no payroll or real all-stars that somehow contend, is now running a team in last place, 12 games behind the Rangers.

*Gio Gonzalez – I’m a big fan of Gonzalez. He is a remote bright spot on a team that’s pretty bad.  He’s a legitimate #1 starter with a sick fastball and slider.  Unfortunately like King Felix he only has eight wins because Oakland flat out sucks.  When you have a 2.47 ERA in the American League you shouldn’t have six losses headed into the All-Star break.  The only thing I don’t like about him is the fact he’s not on the Phillies.  He was a Phillies prospect but was traded with Gavin Floyd for Freddie Garcia.  I still haven’t forgiven Pat Gillick for that move.

*Kevin Fennell – Kevin Fennell is the A’s bat boy.  That’s right; I went the way of the bat boy.  There’s a reason he’s untouchable though; he does his job better than any of the stiffs on the A’s roster.  Kevin Kouzmanoff, Hideki Matsui, Adam Laroche, Brian Fuentes, and Cliff Pennington all suck.  Coco Crisp might be their best offensive player and he stinks too.  Maybe they should give Fennell a tryout.  They can’t get much worse.

Well that’s the AL West kids.  Did I get this one right?  Did I overlook an untouchable player in Oakland?  Let me know.  Hit me up at shatmeself@yahoo.com, and tell me how I’m wrong.

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