Friday, May 13, 2011

Quick Takes from the East Coast

So I’m back and ready to go.  Many things on the docket this week but before that, let’s check the scoreboard so far.
Mets are 15-20 after 35 games, still not horrifying, but on their way to a 70 win season.  Good job guys.
A World Series pick update: The Oakland A’s are 19-17 and in 2nd place in the AL West, 1 game behind the Angels. The Milwaukee Brewers are 15-20 (same record as the Mets, yuck) and in 5th place, 5 games behind the Cards, and only 2 games up on the last place Astros.  Collective yuck in Milwaukee.
Both of my Stanley Cup Finals picks lost in the first round.  Again, count on me to make you money folks.
10 NFL players have been arrested since the Lockout began.  I guess they need something to do.            
Bonds’ head is turning due south here in San Fran, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

My trip back to the motherland
So as you’ve notice, the site has been down for a few weeks now.  The reason for that was my vacation, and Jay’s pending sex change operation (just kidding, that’s just how he looks.) My choice of vacation this year was to make a pilgrimage of sorts back east to my homeland of Long Island, via Central Pennsylvania.  See, I spent the first 20 years of my life in NY, and most of my adult life in Amish country.  I migrated west almost 3 years ago, and have not been back since.  This was my first such venture back, and it was interesting.  I’m not going to bore you with all the facts of my vacation.  This isn’t a first day of school “what I did last summer” type of column.  I just have some strong observations. 
1-Has the weather always sucked that bad on the east coast.  WTF? I was miserable. I got to PA and it was rainy and freezing.  I wake up the next day it’s 85 and overcast.  1000% humidity every day, and minimal sunshine.  It seemed like it was cloudy 90% of the time. So I go to NY, no better.  And here’s something I found out about myself while on this trip.  I sweat. I’m just a sweater and that’s that.  I thought maybe since I’ve dropped nearly 40 pounds over the past 18 months, and I’m in the best shape of my life, maybe the humidity won’t bother me that much.  <Buzzer> Sorry you lose.  I just sweat.  I literally stepped off the plane….sweating.  What a disaster.  Maybe I’m spoiled by sunny and 70 everyday, but it was bad.
2-Is it me, or did the economy really take its toll on the east? Again, maybe it’s all the sun bleaching my brain or blinding me, but everything back east looked very bleak.  Not dirty or poor, but just bleak. Mostly on Long Island. I know that where I chose to buy my house is the land that time forgot. I’m not suggesting that things in the west are any better, it just looks that way. It was like looking at an old photo of my childhood home, and then getting there and seeing that it actually looks older than the photo.  I don’t know it was eerie and upsetting. 
3- I don’t need to tell you that seeing family for the first time in years is an experience all its own, but it was.  I’m not commenting on the good and the bad, because there was plenty of both, and this will quickly turn into a therapy session. I’m just saying it’s an experience you may or may not want to choose for your yearly VK.
All in all it was a quality vacation.  3 weeks with my wife and kids, far from any work or other distractions that cloud my mind on a daily basis. It was a long time coming and I’m rested, refreshed, and ready to bring this revolution to the masses.  Besides, most people dream of time travel don’t they?  I just got back from 3 weeks in the past, and it was nice, but the future looks way better. So let’s go.
“We’re going to shock the World”  -Kobe
Where to begin with this, I’m not one for analysis usually, but when a train wreck occurs, you just can’t look away can you? I mean when a champion falls so short and so hard, its cause for discussion. Especially when one of the game’s greatest says after a terrible Game 3 loss “We’re going to shock the world.” A loss where the Lakers had an 8 point lead with 6 minutes to go and lose by 6 points? ”We’re going to shock the world.” Coming from an all-time great who came up short time and time again during this series, and he says “we’re going to shock the world.”  So that brings us to Game 4 in Dallas, and the Lakers did just that….shocked the world.  They lost by 36 points.  36! Now I’m sure that there have been bigger losses in the history of the NBA, but in my extensive memory has there been a more symbolic slamming of the door on a dynasty? This Laker team not only has a hall of famer in Kobe, a perennial all-star in Pau Gasol, and a cast of strong bench players, but they had arguably the greatest coach the game has ever seen.  To lose by 36 points, and get swept out to boot, it’s a stunning end to a Laker dynasty and a coaching career that never saw the losing end of a sweep before.
But that’s not the only thing.  Andrew Bynum laid out JJ Barea with a cheap shot in the 4th quarter when the game was all but over.  Lamar Odom also had a similar cheap shot.  I’ve been hearing over the past few days on blogs and talk radio about how Bynum should be suspended, ok, he should be fined, agreed, this will define his career, NO.  Look, it’s not the cheap shot that will define his career, it’s his overall performance. Is it me, or has Andrew Bynum become the most overhyped player to come along since the Mets presented to us Generation K? Since Bynum has come to the NBA in 2006 from St Joe’s High in New Jersey he’s had multiple injuries, most of which ended his season, and they’ve been to his knees which is bad news. He’s had flashes of brilliance like playing an entire postseason with a torn meniscus, and standing up to Shaq in their 1st meeting back in ’06. Or the 42 point, 15 board performance he had against the Clips last season. But he’s not Shaq, or Wilt, or Hakeem. He’s not that special a player or he hasn’t been thus far.  So coming back to the hit, if Shaq lays someone out, it’s still bad, but more accepted.  Is that right? YES! When you have a dominant player, or even a consistent player who wants to send a message, it will be more accepted. It just comes with the territory.  I know it sounds like I’m saying “if Shaq cheap shots someone it’s ok, but for Bynum it’s not” but that is not the point.  The point is the public outcry against what Bynum did shouldn’t be for the hit, it should be for the respect this overhyped douche has so undeservingly received. Not only should he be suspended, but if I’m the Lakers I’m shopping him yesterday, and trying to get another big man.  You don’t need a player who acts like he’s a star, and he’s really a douche.

If LeBron wins the title…..
So here we are, the Heat-les are on the precipice of the Eastern Conference Finals, and LeBron’s move will thus be justified if they win that series.  His shrewd, calculated and much hated move to Miami will have yielded immediate results and proven him correct for doing it.  “The Decision” TV special will be a distant memory. The city of Cleveland will just have to come to grips with the fact that they didn’t do what was necessary to keep LBJ and it was indeed their own stupid fault that he left as they lose another 60 games next season. And NBA stars all around the league will see that creating your own destiny IS in fact the way to go.  You can choose your city, your climate, even your teammates and play in the utmost comfort. I remember when the Heat-les were formed, and the public outcry was loud and clear, but the experts all said that this was good for the game.  That the NBA will be a hot topic every other night when the Heat took the floor and it would always be headlines and high ratings because we were all interested in what this experiment would yield. Well, let Chris tell you what it will yield, a lengthy, costly and all-time debilitating lockout come the off season. You see, if Chris Paul goes to NYC and joins Amare and Melo, and Dwight Howard lands in LA with Kobe, and Chi-town holds on to their stars, you have a high concentration of the leagues stars in like 4 or 5 cities, leaving all the other 25 franchises barren.  Oh, they might compete a little, but ultimately they will fall and it will be the Lakers, The Knicks, The Bulls, The Heat, and maybe 2 or 3 others every year.  Great for me being a Knicks fan and all, and those series will be awesome.  Think of a Heat team with D-Wade, LBJ and Bosh taking on a Knick team with CP3, Melo and Amare in the Eastern Conference Final.  And then after that you have a Laker team with Kobe, Dwight Howard and Deron Williams.  Great for the moment, but bad for the league as a whole.  Here’s the thing about the NBA, part of its charm has always been its presence in small markets.  San Antonio, Utah, Indiana, New Jersey, Portland, Phoenix, and OK City are all places that the NBA thrives because they don’t have the NFL or Major League Baseball to contend with.  The NBA is the only pro sport there unless you include the NHL, which who does anymore right? So if players are now able to choose their own destination, some of these places like Utah and Indiana don’t stand a chance.  Who wants to purposefully live in Indy, besides Peyton Manning? What’s with that? Nobody. Especially in the hip-hop driven NBA.  They want something more beachfront or more urban.  More glamorous. NYC, LA, Miami, Boston, Chi-town will have most of the stars.  The good news is maybe; just maybe the Clippers will have a shot being in LA and all. But it is the Clippers, so even that franchise can’t be helped by geography. I digress. LeBron James winning the title in Miami in his first year, after making a very controversial and much publicized decision, one that will inspire other stars to do the same, will have a very large impact on the negotiations the NBA faces during the off season.  That impact will be very bad, and will almost assure a late start to the season next year if there is a season.  The Heat-les, good for now, bad for later.  Hey just like Taco Bell.
A No-Hitter Over-rated?
Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers threw his 2nd career no-hitter, and the seasons 2nd no hitter in a week. Afterwards on talk radio I heard caller after caller, and host after host say that the no-hitter is over-rated and makes for a boring baseball game.  Look, even though we are in the midst of pitching dominance the likes we haven’t seen since the 70’s when Seaver, Carlton and Ryan were in there prime; a no-hitter is still an awesome event.  Those who say otherwise are not true baseball fans.  I’m not suggesting that we go the route of soccer with frequent 1-0 games with 2 hours of non-action, but even 8 no-hitters in one season (1884) is a small number compared to how many games are played.  A side note, think of this, with all of these no-hitters going on, the Mets and the Padres have never had one.  The Marlins, who have been around since ’92 have 4, but the Mets and the Pads from the ‘60’s have zero.  Being a diehard Mets fan, my pain is even worse because not only have they had zero no-hitters but 11 no hitters have been pitched by former Mets.  And Hideo Nomo pitched one for the Dodgers before becoming a Met, and then one for the Red Sox after donning the blue and orange.
So here are some numbers, 162 games per season per team.  I’m not smart enough to figure out what the average is, and the amount of games that have been played in baseball history, but even with approximately 2000 games per season, 8 no-no’s per year wouldn’t be a lot.  It would make it less special, but still impressive. And that’s with the all-time high, in 1884.  Over the past 10 years, there have been 22 no-no’s.  The 10 years prior, 23.  You get my point, these people are stupid.  I get that everyone has an opinion, but if you are a baseball fan, you love the no-hitter.

The best finals scenario ever for NBA and NHL (yuck)
We are a few days away from Conference Finals series to begin in both the NHL and the NBA.  The Final Four in both leagues present some really good, and really bad finals scenarios.  Let rank them shall we?
NBA – With the teams that are left, the best possible NBA finals in terms of ratings and national interest would be Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks. You’ve got the Heat-les which will draw viewers against Mark Cuban’s last chance at a title for a while.  The chips have fallen into place for Dallas with the collapse of the Lakers, the Spurs early exit and the Thunder needing at least 6 games to dispose of the Grizzlies, if they succeed in doing that. Not to mention a finals rematch between D-Wade and Dirk.
Along with this next best thing scenario, Lakers-Heat would have been best, comes a disastrous final.  Can you imagine the ratings for a Memphis Grizzlies – Atlanta Hawks finals?  It’s possible. Hawks are tied 2-2 with the Bulls, and so are the Grizzlies with the Thunder. If either of these teams makes it to the Conference finals, you’re going to see some panic in Commissioner Stern’s eyes.  My dream scenario would be to see the Grizzlies up 2-1 in the conference finals with the Mavs, and threatening to go up 3-1 late in the 4th of Game 4.  With the way NBA refs toy with the games, no doubt a rash of phantom fouls will be called on Zach Randolph, NO DOUBT! As that’s happening over in the east, Josh Smith is taking LBJ behind the woodshed and showing him what’s up as the Hawks stifling D shuts down the Heat-les.
In conclusion, nothing would make me happier in the world than to be watching Game 1 of the NBA Finals from Atlanta as they host the Grizzlies for the title. A boy can dream can’t he?
NHL – With 5 teams left, (now 4, this was written 2 days ago) and a pivotal Game 6 about to go in the western conference quarters between the Red Wings and the Sharks, I would have to say that the best possible finals for the NHL would be the Bruins and the Red Wings.  2 of the original 6, going at it. The Bruins haven’t won the cup since 1972, and haven’t even been there since 1990.  Boston has the Pats and the Sox, but they are one of the few cities that still truly love its hockey team.  They will be out in force if they make the finals.  The Wings would be in a been there done that type of thing, but a finals appearance would have to include a miraculous comeback against the Sharks right now (they were down 3-0 in the series, trying to even it up tonight), and then beating the best team in hockey right now the Vancouver Canucks.
This brings me to my worst case scenario for the NHL.  Could you imagine how awful a Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Vancouver Canucks final would be from a ratings and aesthetic standpoint?  Let’s take the ratings, in Canada they would go wild.  They haven’t had a cup winner since the 1993 Montreal Canadiens, and the Canucks have been the best team in the league for most of the year. But it would not play well; scratch that, at all in the southern 49.  People in America don’t care about hockey as it is, they would care even less about the Canucks.  As far America’s interest in the Lightning, Tampa has to be one of the worst sports cities on the planet.  If it’s not the Buccaneers or Gators football or NASCAR…they don’t care.  Go check those World Series tapes from 2008; The Trop wasn’t exactly blowing its top for the Rays.  When your fan base makes the Braves look good, you should be ashamed of yourself. Now if the city of Tampa itself fails to get excited about its own team, the rest of the country is not going to care either.  
The other negative against a Lightning-Canucks series would be the ugliness of it. The Lightning have this boring black with an awful patch on the front, and the Canucks since ditching the awful brown, yellow and orange motif have gone with a blue jersey with a green patch and a white stick.  WTF?  I don’t really know what a Canuck is, and this jersey does not make it any clearer.
So here’s what I wish for in 2 weeks, Commissioner Stern and Commissioner Bettman with their plastic smiles giving interviews previewing Game 1’s in Atlanta and Vancouver as there leagues ratings plummet. The NBA has the most to lose here, because if the NHL get there great matchup and beat out Bull riding in the ratings, that’s gravy.  But if the NBA loses out on an opportunity at LeBron in the Finals against Dirk, Jay Kidd and Mark Cuban, and get Hawks-Grizz, the ratings slip will be more like a ratings landslide. Oh the possibilities.  I love me some turmoil.

And Finally……
The next time I hear an athlete or a talk show host or even a fan refer to themselves or their fandom as a “Nation,” I’m choking the person closest to me.  Even if it’s my wife or one of my children, that’s how much it enrages me. This rage began when the Steelers beat the Jets in the AFC Championship game and Mike Timlin spoke to the crowd at Heinz Field and referred to them as Steeler-Nation. Now it may have been because the Jets had toyed with my emotions again, but something about that moment burned into my brain a pure irrational hatred for this “nation” crap. I believe the “nation” thing began with the 2004 Red Sox when they came back on the Yanks from 3-0 down and won the World Series finally.  I give the people of Boston a pass, they needed something.  But every time I hear it, it makes me want to fist rape someone’s mouth. Why a “nation?”  Why not, “I want to thank the Steeler fans for being……” When Green Bay won the Super Bowl, I heard Aaron Rodgers thank Packer nation and I nearly stabbed my son with a fork. Are there laws in Packer nation?  Is there a Packer police force? Is there a Packer “nation” national anthem or military force?  Listen carefully, if you’ve ever been at a game, or listened to the radio, or sat at home and watched this on TV, and your coach or star player says “I want to thank <blank>nation” and you were excited about it, you should kill yourself…..or get a life, and then end it.  This “nation” crap is part of the reason I started first my radio show, and now this blog…..because if I don’t vent my hatred, I will be arrested for spousal abuse.

No comments:

Post a Comment