The late and brilliant George Carlin once said he can prove anything is funny. To prove this point, he went on to say that even something disturbing as rape is funny.
“They’ll say you can’t joke about rape. Rape’s not funny. I say f*ck you, I think it’s hilarious. How do you like that? I can prove to you rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. See, why do you think they call him Porky, eh?”
Carlin went on to give other examples regarding the ridiculousness of rape. He was pointing out (in a very funny way) that all comedy comes from tragedy. That entire skit (well Carlin in general) changed my life.
Today, too many people take life too seriously. In doing this, they miss all the humor heinous crimes can bring. Take Michael Vick. Even here in Philly, where he has become widely accepted, a dog fighting joke will land you a dirty look or some shitty comment. Don’t get me wrong; what Vick did was terrible, but it doesn’t mean there’s no humor hidden in there.
This brings me to a little hidden gem I found about a cockfight that clearly went wrong.
Cockfighting (not to be confused with Indian Dick Wrestling), you say???
I know folks here in the United States love dogs more than cock, but cock is more loved over the world than dog (except in Korea and the Philippines, where they eat dog). In the US it’s easily proved by Michael Vick still being public enemy number one. But no one remembers when Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal regularly attended cockfights in 2008. Call me old fashioned, but animal abuse is animal abuse, whether it’s dogs, cocks, or PJ Carlissimo.
Let me get off my soapbox and tell you a story about Jose Ochoa. As I started writing this, part of me wanted to embellish this story chock full of stereotype (Picking oranges, hanging in front of Home Depot, etc), but it would cheapen it. It’s funny enough knowing Mr. Ochoa was killed by a cock.
Ochoa, 35, was attending a cockfight just outside of Earlimart, CA (for those of you who don’t know where Earlimart is, it’s in the meth belt of California, nestled between Bakersfield and Fresno), when it was raided by the Tulare County Sheriff’s Office. The raid clearly spooked both the Mexicans and Cocks because as Ochoa was trying to elude police a cock flew into his legs. But this wasn’t an ordinary cock; it was a killer cock.
See, the genius who owned said cock had knives attached to the cock’s feet. (This is very common among cockfighting community although I don’t remember seeing that on Seinfeld). When the cock flew into Ochoa’s leg, a knife punctured his calf, severing a major artery, and he bled out. Jose Ochoa went out for a fun evening of illegal gambling with his amigos and ended up in a body bag.
I guess there is poetic justice. When you live by the cock, you die by the cock.
SIDEBAR: I’d like to take a second to thank KGPE in Fresno for providing me with information pertaining to this article. I’d also like to thank the Fresno County Sheriff’s department for dumb comments made on KGPE, ever reminding me never to go to Fresno.
“There are a lot of things associated with cockfighting such as illegal gambling, illegal drugs, and animal cruelty.”
No shit…
“We believe this is the first time a man has died as a result of a cockfight.”
I’m going to have to call bullshit on this one. Granted, there are probably more deaths from, say, exploding meth labs than cockfights in the greater metropolitan area of Fresno, but I doubt this is the first death as a result of a cockfight gone bad. Considering it’s illegal and worldwide, something tells me there might be more unreported deaths than the fine sheriff thinks.
Stay classy, Fresno. Thanks for reminding me that Philadelphia is a great city…
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