Punch in the Face List - Bud Selig

Every week I plan on doing a Punch in the Face List for Tony La Russa, and then someone else does something that deserves a punch in the face that’s more relevant to what’s going on in the sports world today (but don’t worry Tony, you’ll have your day as  well).  This weeks edition is someone who I always wanted to punch in the face, but I never got around to it, but based on recent actions, he’s been bumped up.  That would be Major League Baseball Commissioner “Bud” Selig.

Allan “Bud” Selig has always annoyed me.  He look like he lacks hygiene, to the point where Bill Gates looks clean.  He’s so disturbingly ugly to that if Chris did a”Top 5 Ugly Billionaires” he’d number one with a bullet (he makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt).  Then there’s that old man cupping of the ear with that creepy, confused face as if he can’t hear the question when he’s holding a press conference.  This normally occurs when it’s a question he doesn’t want to answer, so he acts old and confused (like Uncle Leo when he decided to take up the hobby of stealing).

Those are annoyances not reasons to knock a guy in his chops, but “Bud” has plenty of reasons why he deserves a punch in the face.

Nickname

Look, I know we all have nicknames growing up.  If I had a nickel for every time I was called “Jay Bird” when I played ball, I might be in the same tax bracket as “Bud”.  While I wasn’t super fond of the name, it eventually phased itself out as I became an adult.  Unfortunately for Allan it never did and he’s always been “Bud”.

Unless you’re friggin’ Prince, who has made a brand out of a moniker or nickname, when you’re an adult your professional name should be your name.  Going by “Bud”, “Skip” (yeah I’m taking a shot at you Bayless), or “Mickey,” doesn’t give you an identity, it makes you look like an asshole.

On a totally somewhat related note unless it’s your actual birth name, shy away from two syllable nicknames that end with a “Y”.  Being called Billy, Tommy, Johnny, Jimmy, Nicky (well unless you’re a lord of the underworld), Wally, or Willy (this might be acceptable if you’re black), might have been cool when you were 10, but at 30 you come off like a giant tool.

I know what you’re thinking, I go by “Jay”, and it’s not my birth name.  But Jay is a shortening version of Jason which is my name.  I don’t go by “Sonny” or “Jay-Jay” (because I’m not an asshole; at least for that reason).  If “Bud” went by “Al”, I could stand behind it.

Policies

“Bud” has made some serious changes to the world of baseball in his time as commissioner to almost (well not really) make fans forget about the abomination in 1994 (yeah the MLB Players Strike, which really did deep six the Montreal Expos).  I like the fact he added a wild card to the playoffs since it really can heat up pennant races.  I’m also a big fan of the World Baseball Classic and the fact he help lead a team of people to starting a league in Israel is good for the game of baseball as a world wide sport.  In saying that all is not well with the decision making practices of “Bud”.

Lets start with interleague play.  I know it’s popular with a lot of fans but I think it bastardizes the game.  Sure it’s great for cities with two teams to be able to watch them play each other during the season but how much more exciting would it have been if the first time the Yankees and the Mets played each other was in the 2000 World Series instead of the 1995 regular season?

Seeing the Yankees/Mets, Cubs/White Sox, Angels/Dodgers, and Giants/Athletics is great for city rivalry purposes but forced rivalries like the Red Sox/Phillies, Braves/Blue Jays, and Brewers/Twins is strictly for revenue purposes.  While the league does need to make money (because they clearly do not make enough revenue) I’m more of a purist who would prefer for each league to be segregated until the World Series.

Now on to the All-Star Game.  I’ve made my stance very clear on this subject.  Basing home field advantage for the World Series on a simple exhibition is one of the least thought out ideas in baseball since the addition of the designated hitter in 1973 (thanks Bowie Kuhn).  The players who play for teams without a chance of contention don’t care and with the new trend of real All-Stars choosing not to participate in the All-Star Game; it’s become a bunch of B-List players deciding which league gets a distinct advantage in the Fall Classic.

Mitchell Report

Like most baseball fans, I’m over the who discussion of PED’s in baseball and the whole steroid era.  It’s something that happened in the past, partially when steroids were actually not a banned substance in the game, and in a way, the power duels between Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire really brought fans back to baseball after the strike.

In saying this, Selig’s way of fixing or exposing how rampant steroids were in baseball was by hiring former Senator George Mitchell to find some whistle blowers and form a report.

Taking it at face value it seemed like a good idea to help clean up the game, but in reality it was nothing but a one-sided sham.  The Mitchell Report was nothing but testimony from busted players and personal trainers (aka drug dealers) and all it did was point the finger at the players giving management and owners a free pass.  You damn well know that from bench coaches to owners that they all knew what was going on and they turned a blind eye to it.  Once it became an issue in baseball a finger had to be pointed, and the players were the fall guys.

This is particularly funny considering “Bud” was the owner of the Milwaukee Brewers during the early part of the “steroid era”.  His accurate nickname should be “Protect Your Own Kind, Bud”.

All-Star Comment and Jeter

Derek Jeter took a lot of flack for skipping this years All-Star game especially considering he just reached 3,000 hits.  A major league icon and ambassador to the game, he was set to be honored for this tremendous feat, but opted to skip the game because he was “physically and emotionally drained.”  Although I can see him not wanting to play in the game (and quite frankly he didn’t deserve to make the All-Star team, but the fans love him), his choice not to even show up was a low class move and he deserved the bad press he got.

At least Jeter had “Bud” in his corner.  When asked about Jeter not being in Phoenix, “Bud” said the following:

“I respect that. And I must tell you, I think I’d have made the same decision that Derek Jeter did.  So to any suggestion to the contrary, Derek Jeter has brought to this sport great pride. He’s become a role model. He’s earned it and is still earning it.”

Is he out of his f*cking mind???  This year’s All-Star game had a record 86 All-Stars.  Yeah, 86.  Out of the numerous players who missed the All-Star game, only four were on the disabled list.  While a lot were pitchers who pitched the prior Sunday so they were not eligible to play (another ass backward rule because if a pitcher pitches on Sunday, Tuesday would be there bullpen day), and some players took the time to heal lingering injuries, but a lot of players like Jeter just chose not to participate (hell, Aramis Ramirez flat out declined).  Even the players who weren’t playing due to injuries or pitching rules still made the flight to Phoenix.  Jeter not even bothering to show up is the equivalent to giving the fans the middle finger.  By Selig giving a free pass to Jeter “Bud” is setting a presentence for future All-Stars to skip the game.  This bodes well for home field advantage in the World Series going forward.

Instead of kissing King Derek’s ass and saying he would have done the same thing (what a stupid, stupid comment), what he should of done is called him out on what was a poor choice on his part.  Idiot…

Cry Meter

I’m giving “Bud” a 9 out of 10.  If I got him in the jaw he’d definitely fall and break a hip (hopefully he has his life alert), but his creepy old man face might distract me and I might not make a direct shot.