Happy New
Year! Okay January 3rd. I hope everyone brought the New Year in a
happy and safe place. By happy and safe
place I mean waking up in your bed (or the bed of a suitable stranger), not the
drunk tank. Let’s just say I know
there’s nothing happy and safe about that (for the record that was years
ago). Well now that the holidays have come
and gone, I’m back from a brief hiatus, heavily caffeinated, and ready to tackle
the project that is called The Sports Riot!
TSR!
– Over the past couple of weeks we’ve encountered a brief stumbling
block when it comes to the swell group the hosts TSR! Chris has been working feverishly to resolve
this issue, but to put it bluntly they’re assholes and we’re currently at a
standstill. As a result we’re digressing
(we’re pros at that), to our old website, www.thesportsriot.blogspot.com. This is only a temporary move until we resolve
our dispute with our host, or find a new host who aren’t criminals (yeah, I
said that). No need to worry, we’re just
going to kick it old skool (are the kids still using that phrase?), for the
next week or so. Thanks for your
patience.
With all
that being said, I have no access to my Riot! email. If you emailed me and I didn’t respond, my
fault. This goes for any writers who
were ready to start (sorry, I didn’t have your information to contact you). Until we’re re-hosted, you can hit me up at
my personal address at gimmeasign@gmail.com. No dick pics please.
Winter
Classic – Most of you were hungover and barely able to crawl out of bed
on New Year’s Day. I on the other hand
was a fully functional adult (I use that term very loosely). I spent my NYE at home, relaxing, and texting
my buddy Fisher. After 10 cups of
coffee, a 7-11 breakfast, and Tweeting too much, I found time to watch the
Winter Classic.
Even though
I think the NHL is going to the idiot extreme with so many outdoor games this
year, I’ve become a big fan of the Winter Classic; this year more so given the
matchup. Both the Red Wings and Maple
Leafs are Original Six teams with a ton of history. The game didn’t disappoint either with the
Leafs winning 3-2 in a shootout (yeah, I’ve also become a fan of the
shootout). It doesn’t mean there weren’t
things that just annoyed me.
- The game was ENTIRELY too long. I understand there were some issues with snow, but each period lasted an hour due to a TV timeout every 30 seconds. It seemed more like NBC (at least here in the States), took all the advantage they could of the national airtime. I get they were in competition with every other station that was showing 1 of the 45 Bowl games that were played but don’t hold your audience hostage. When you’re watching a hockey game you shouldn’t be looking at the clock wondering when the hell it’s going to end. That’s what I found myself doing.
- On the subject of NBC… I like Mike Emerich. Doc is a great announcer, but the rest of the NBC crew is brutal. Mike Milbury’s voice makes me want to beat him with a shoe (which is better than what most Islanders fans would like to do to him), and Pierre McGuire is a chucklehead. The highlight of the NBC coverage was Pierre discussing warming someone’s “balls” up (at least he finally made it public). Even after that verbal nugget, his bad still outweighed any good. It would have been better if Darren Pang was added to the crew (who doesn’t like a “holy jumpin’!").
- As entertaining as the game was, the “mid-period horn” as an abortion. Especially when Hendrik Zetterberg was working on a breakaway in overtime. There’s no doubt the weather in Detroit was terrible (much like everything else in Detroit), but when you’re playing an outdoor game, rules shouldn’t be amended due to weather. In reality it cost the Wings a point.
- Back to the coverage… When the “cast” ran out of nonsense to talk about regarding the game, the biggest news was the John-Michael Liles/Tim Gleason trade. On any other day that would have been a “who gives a shit” transaction. Wednesday is was a major headline. “Two Broken Toys Traded… No One Cares.”
- I guess I shouldn’t bitch about the NBC coverage so much. At least they didn’t lose their feed and were able to broadcast the game in its entirety (umm CBC…).
TSR!
Resolutions/Predictions - Since 2010, when we started this nonsense
I’ve made some Resolutions/Predictions for the New Year. So here they are!
- For the past week I’ve had the Misfit’s song “Skulls” stuck in my head. By next week it’ll be something by Hall and Oates.
- The Superbowl will be the Chiefs/Eagles. Like always, Andy Reid will be a bridesmaid. Book it.
- I won’t obsess about the growing number of gray hairs in my chin. Only because I have a full head of hair with no grays. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.
- The Heat will again win the NBA Championship, this time beating the Golden State Warriors.
- Lebron will debate leaving Miami, but no one outside of Cleveland and Miami will care. No matter what he does he will get murdered by the media.
- I will refer to Ben Rothlesberger as a rapist at least 136 times (this is throughout the year).
- The Dodgers will beat the Tigers in the World Series.
- I will drink less (yeah I say that every year)
- Team USA will win the Silver at Sochi with Canada winning the Gold. Brian Burke will still unnecessarily ridicule Bobby Ryan.
- Derek Jeter will retire before the first game of Spring Training.
- I will lose 20 more pounds (I lost 30 in 2013).
- The Blues will in their first-ever Stanley Cup over the Flyers.
- I will spend much time in Canada. I’m not going to relinquish my US citizenship (still debating that), but will enjoy friends and work. Maybe next year I’ll relinquish those rights.
- The Sports Riot! will be your favorite place to go on a daily basis.
- I will say goodbye to the East Coast. San Jose, here I come!
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