It’s true… A haircut probably wouldn’t hurt. Not that anyone cares but I need one. In all honesty I couldn’t think of a name for this edition of Random Thoughts and it was either “Jay Needs A Haircut” or “Jay Needs to Brush His Teeth” so I opted for a haircut, although “Jay Lacks Hygiene” might have covered all the bases. Once again I digress. Regardless of my current hygiene issues (I’m sitting at my desk, in my house, by myself, so there’s no one to impress at the moment) I still have opinions.
Fantasy Update
Well my fantasy life still isn’t doing as well as expected. I did finally win last week in two of my leagues making me 1-2, but in the other two I’m 0-3. In one league Miles Austin being out and Rashard Mendenhall s***ting the bed killed me. It also didn’t help that Arian Foster still hasn’t played much and my opponent had Ben Tate.
In my other league, the Tom Brady to Wes Welker connection kicked my ass. I need a big week in all my leagues to actual try and contend, because right now it’s been nothing but an embarrassment.
Monday night I totally dorked out and did my fantasy hockey draft. It’s a 14 team league, so it’s pretty deep, but I’m pretty happy with my team. I rolled the dice with young guys like Taylor Hall, Adam Larsson, and Brayden Schenn, but I’m confident going into the season.
Happiness in Buffalo
There’s not one football fan around, aside from maybe a couple drunks who live in the suburbs of Buffalo, that predicted the Bills would start the season 3-0. No one predicted the Bills would lead the NFL in scoring, that Ryan Fitzpatrick would be one of the leagues top rated quarterbacks and that Fred Jackson would be in the top five in rushing. If you tell me you did, I’m calling bulls**t.
With the Bills huge win over Tom Brady and the Patriots (which I personally loved because anytime Bill Belichick cries like a child who didn’t get a candy bar at the supermarket I rejoice), have made a lot of people believers in the Bills. They travel to Cincinnati next week to face the lowly Bengals, and unless the Bills revert to the Bills we have learned to laugh at over the past decade they will start the season 4-0. That will be the first time since 1992 and that year they went to the Superbowl. Back then I was a senior in high school, the Rams and Raiders were in Los Angeles, the Titans were the Oilers, the Ravens were the Browns, the Texans, Panthers, Jaguars, and Browns weren’t even in existence, and Jim Kelly was the Bills quarterback. It’s been a long time.
So the question is. Are the Bills for real?
I know there are a lot of articles talking about the Bills ending their 12-year playoff drought and they are a team that needs to be taken seriously, but sorry Bills fans, I’m not buying it. On paper the Bills are not that good. They do have some young talent but Fitzpatrick is a journeyman who is playing over his head and Jackson at best is a bottom of the league starting running back. The NFL season might only be 16 games but it’s long and grueling, and the Bills don’t have the stamina to compete with the rest of the league.
I’ll compare them to another franchise that I addressed over the summer that was playing over their heads and that’s the Cleveland Indians. Through the first half of the baseball season they held one of the best records in the league, and the people of Cleveland had a reason not to hate themselves for living in a place like Cleveland. Like the Bills I said they didn’t have the stamina to keep it up. At best the Indians will finish .500. The same goes for the Bills.
Being Wayne Simmonds
Flyers forward Wayne Simmonds has made headlines twice in one week.
First when the Flyers were playing the Red Wings in a preseason hockey game in London, Ontario, a spectator threw a banana on the ice while Simmonds was taking a shot in an overtime shootout (which he did score). Now under normal circumstance this really wouldn’t be a big deal. The clowns in Detroit have been throwing an octopus on the ice for years. The rednecks in Florida spent seasons throwing rubber rats on the ice during game play, but a banana might be different. Simmonds is a black guy (or African-Canadian for the politically correct).
The league apologized profusely for this incident (probably to avoid the wrath of Al Sharpton), and made it a point to boost security so this wouldn’t happen again. When Simmonds was asked about it he said he wasn’t going to dwell on it and it’s over. I thought he handled it well and professionally.
Fast forward to Monday night. The Flyers were hosting the Rangers and Simmonds got into a first period skirmish with Sean Avery. Simmonds felt he was sucker punched and both players jawed at each other back and forth. After the game Avery cried to the media that Simmonds called him a “fag” (or homophobic slur for the politically correct).
When asked if Simmonds called Avery a “fag”, he didn’t deny it. He just said that he and Avery both said things to each other that they each didn’t like. I just find it ironic, that of all people Sean Avery is crying to the media. This coming from the guy who acts like a pain in the ass and has the biggest mouth to hide his lack of actual hockey talent (he is the guy who referred to Elisha Cuthbert as “his sloppy seconds”). Furthermore, I’m sure Avery’s comments to Simmonds weren’t bible verses.
Well now Simmonds is going to find himself in trouble. GLAAD (The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), is calling for the Flyers and the NHL to have a full investigation into Simmonds homophobic slur. Now Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke’s tits are all twisted and he’s demanding something be done (ironically Burke’s son is openly gay).
People really need to get over their sensitivity issues. We are all one as a race in this world and people shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells with speech regardless of ones ignorance or sensitivity. It is okay for a fan to throw a banana on the ice, essentially saying Simmonds is spawned from monkeys, but if Simmonds says the word fag, peoples panties are in a bunch and action must be taken? That’s ridiculous.
Where was Brian Burke when Simmonds had a banana thrown his way? Maybe if Burke’s son was gay and black, he might have stood behind no tolerance for racism in the NHL.
Ozzie Being Ozzie
Ozzie Guillen was released from his contract on Monday after not being able to come to an extension to his liking. He wasn’t fired, he asked to be released and was granted it because White Sox management would not meet his demands of $4 million annually. He did this with three games left in the season? (he is under contract through 2012 so he could have been released after the season, right?)
This is disgusting. I understand Ozzie thinks he’s better than everyone else and he tries to overcompensate for the fact that he’s under six feet tall with a motor mouth and a false machismo, but I’ve lost respect for him. He could have had the respect for his players to finish out the season, than he could have stomped into Ken Williams’s office and demanded his release. Leaving his team with less than a week left in the season is a real shit move.
A bigger shit move was his statements about the release:
“With the rings, I can’t do s**t with that. But with money, I can go buy me a new boat, I can go buy me a new car, I can dress my wife the way I want to dress her, I can go to Spain. With the ring, I can go to United Airlines and say, ‘Hello, I won the 2005 championship. Can you fly me to Spain?’ Hell, no.
“Money is everything besides health. Money is next to that. A lot of people say, ‘Oh, love.’ They don’t know what love means. I guarantee you, if you raise a girl where I grew up and you’ve got no money and she loves you, but you put the same girl with a guy who’s got a lot of money, I’ll bet she’ll love the guy with money. That’s the way it is. I love you, but I’m hungry.
“I work in this job for money. I don’t work for nothing. Money. That’s it. The ring? F*ck the ring. I don’t even wear my f*cking rings. I don’t.’’
“You know what I saw a couple days ago? I saw a 62-foot boat. That’s what I want, and that’s what I’m going to get. People have to pay me for that. White Sox? I don’t know. Marlins? I don’t know. But somebody will pay. I want to buy my f*cking boat. That’s my inspiration. My inspiration is money. That’s everybody’s inspiration.’’
“If I leave here, I will say, ‘I leave here because I want to make my f*cking money. You know why? Because no f*cking fans, no f*cking Jerry or f*cking anybody is going to take care of my grandkids and put me in a 62-foot boat. That’s why there’s free agency.’’
It sounds like Ozzie has become Latrell Sprewell for a new generation…
I Could Go For A Beer
Seriously, I could. Funds are tight at the moment, but if you want to swing by with some beer, we can sit out back, shoot the shit, and drink some suds. Email me: shatmeself@yahoo.com. The sooner the better, I’m parched.Give Mike Vick a Tissue
By now you all know I’m a huge Eagles fan. On Sunday’s I live and die in green. I’m even a bigger Michael Vick fan. I always have ever since he came into the league. In saying this I can’t stand anything more than a whiny athlete. It’s bad enough they make more in one year then me and all my friends combined will make in our lifetime to play a game. They really need just to keep their mouth shut and the thankful for where they are in life.Yet even after having $100 million contract, they’re still not happy.
After Sunday’s loss to the Giants (which was a total abomination, where the Eagles were outplayed and out coached). Vick vented to the media about how he’s isn’t getting the calls quarterbacks Tom Brady or Peyton Manning would.
"I was trying to protect myself. Still didn't get a flag and that's pretty much been the story for the last three weeks. I mean, obviously at some point something catastrophic is going to happen and I broke my hand."
"Looking at the replays, I'm on the ground every time, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't frustrated. The refs have got to do their jobs. And I mentioned it to the refs in training camp when I talked to them. I'm on the ground constantly, all the time. Every time I throw the ball, I'm on the ground. And I don't know why I don't get the 15-yard flags like everybody else does."
Look, I do see Vick’s point. He has taken a beating so far this season, but bitching to the media isn’t helping his cause. Sure, Vick does get hit more than most quarterbacks in the league, and I think there are cases when a flag could have been thrown, but there are reasons.
- He holds the ball longer than most of his peers. This isn’t a knock on him it’s just his style of play. QB’s like Brady, Manning, and Drew Brees are pocket passers, while Vick is a playmaker. While the aforementioned feel pressure and no receivers open, they will throw the ball away, while Vick will scramble and wait for the play to happen. Therefore, he’s bound to get hit more than other quarterbacks.
- Vick needs better protection. I’m not knocking offensive line coach, Howard Mudd, but he needs to make sure that line gives him protection. Again, being a playmaker he needs more time and the o-line needs to make sure that happens.
- This is where I feel flags do need to be called (but still Vick didn’t need to whine about it). Personally I think defenses like hitting him more than other quarterbacks. Regardless if I come off like a homer, I think it’s true. Vick has made a career making defenses look stupid, and not through the air but on his feet. He also never slides when he runs. You know lineman and linebackers would like nothing more than to knock Vick on his ass, regardless if the call is late or not.
Monday, Vick apologized for his statement. Personally, I don’t think this came from Vick. I’m sure management had a talk with him.
Don’t Text John Lackey
Sunday night Red Sox Pitcher John Lackey lashed out at the media for a text message he received from a member of the media. Apparently someone found out Lackey filed for divorce from his wife Krista on August 30th and asked him about it.
Now divorces happen all the time. I’ve had one myself, as had 50% of the US population, but these circumstances are a bit different. Krista is the middle of battling breast cancer.
That’s f*cked up.
I don’t care if his wife is gangbanging the entire Red Sox bullpen on a nightly basis, when your wife is battling cancer you put all differences aside until she beats it. At that point you address the marriage if it’s worth saving. The only reason Lackey is pissed at the media for finding out is he knew they would expose him for the scumbag that he is.
If anything she should have left him on the grounds for being an embarrassment on the mound.
Well there’s no haircut in my future today, but it’s time for me to shower and brush my teeth. Do you agree with this weeks rants? Did I miss Ozzie’s boat on something? Let me know. I’m always around. Hit me up at shatmeself@yahoo.com.
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