Top 5 Pennant Races since 1976

With August coming to a close and September upon us, it’s time to start thinking about the pennant races and start that September tradition; scoreboard watching. That’s right, if you are in one of the four to eight cities that actually have a shot at making the playoffs this season, you get to see what the team ahead of you, or chasing you is doing.  There are a few good ones this year (NL West, AL West, AL Central and AL East) but what I’ve done is picked the Top 5 pennant races since 1976 (because that’s where my knowledge begins).  I was going to do the Wild Card races too, but those races are already decided as of this year; so it's divisions only.

5)1995 AL West division race between the California Angels and the Seattle Mariners

The season after arguably the biggest blunder in sports history (the 1994 MLB strike and subsequent cancelling of the ’94 World Series thus robbing the Montreal Expos of their only legit chance at a title) saw not only one of the greatest pennant races ever, but one of the greatest collapses ever as well. This race was all but over in early August with the Angels holding an 11 game lead over the Mariners on August 9^th; that race is over right? Guess again.  Griffey Jr., the Big Unit and the Mariners made a charge in August and September like Tiger on the back 9 at Augusta (wow, that reference is just not correct anymore is it?) After August 9^th, the Angels went 12-27 in their final 39 games with 2 separate 9 game losing streaks in there. Needless to say, the Mariners capitalized and even took over the division lead with 9 games to play in the season.  But then the Angels turned it around after falling a full 3 games back with 5 to play, the Halos went on a 5 game tear to tie the division up at the end of the season which led to a one game playoff for the division. It has to be one of the most anticipated and fun things to watch; a one game playoff for the whole enchilada.  It’s like a Game 7, only more interesting because it’s not set up like a game 7.  This is season long drama, not two week’s worth of drama.  It was the Angels enduring a horrendous final month of the season, but showing the grittiness to not mail it in after the Mariners had passed them in late September and it’s the Mariners possibly having a lack of confidence after choking away a 3 game lead with 5 to play; remember this was a franchise that had yet to see postseason action. Anyway, all that build up was for nothing; Randy Johnson made it clear very early that this was not going to be the Angels day.  The Unit, pitching in front of the Kingdome crowd, put up 12K’s while only yielding 4 base runners in a complete game 9-1 victory. This anti-climactic one game playoff is what put this game in the 5 slot instead of the 2 or 3 slot. It was a great race that went back and forth in the final month.  It was the type of September race you hear about.

4) 2009 AL Central division race between the Tigers and Twins

 This was another one of those tremendous “from out of nowhere” scenarios. Nobody saw the Twins coming until it was too late. The Tigers had stood in first place from early May until the final day of the regular season, while the Twins just lurked in second place waiting to make its move. Their move came four days before the end of the regular season when the Tigers were hosting the Twinkies with a chance to clinch the division with a victory on their home field. After taking the first 2 from the Twins, it seemed that a sweep and another division title were in the cards for the Tigers; they were blown out 8-3. The Tigers then went on to lose 2 of their last 3 with their ace Justin Verlander saving their skin on the final day of the season and forcing a one-game playoff. What makes this race better than the ’95 Angels-Mariners was the playoff game; this playoff game was a classic back and forth affair. The Tigers had a 3-2 lead going into the 7^th inning at the Metrodome when the Twins finally broke ahead of the Tigers with 2 runs in that inning.  It had been 164 days, and 7 innings since the Tigers had to look up and catch someone, and to their credit the Tigers acted like champions by answering right back. They tied it up almost immediately in the Top of the 8^th setting up a classic finish.  Into the 10^th inning they went at the Metrodome when the Tigers put up a run in the top half and silenced a raucous Metrodome crowd.  I remember watching this game and getting the feeling that the Minnesota dream had come to an end.  Boy was I wrong; the Twins answered with a run of their own in the bottom half of the 10^th and prolonged the drama even further. Into the 12^th they went where the Tigers had Bobby Keppel and the Twins on the ropes with the bases loaded and one out. A force out at home and a strikeout later and the Twins went into the bottom of the 12^th with renewed life. They turned that momentum into a victory with Alexi Casilla driving in Delmon Young with a one out dribbler through the infield to FINALLY remove the Tigers from the first place seat in the AL Central in 2009.

3) 1987 AL East

First things first, any division that has three or more teams battling it out for the top spot is an exciting division to be a part of. The second thing is when a division comes down to the wire and is decided on the last weekend of the season, it’s a good thing. And thirdly, when 4 teams hold the top spot in the division for a period of 10 games or more during the course of one season, and have 89 wins or more; it’s a classic.  When all 3 of these things come together within one summer of baseball, you have yourself one hell of a pennant race. It was the New York Yankees, Milwaukee Brewers, Detroit Tigers and the Toronto Blue Jays butting heads for the entire summer for AL East supremacy. You have a Brewers team who had won a World Series five seasons ago, the Tigers who won a World Series two seasons ago, a powerhouse Blue Jay squad trying to give Canada a voice in this American game and of course, the Yankees who had been in large part irrelevant on the field for nearly eight seasons (which is unprecedented in the Bronx). Three of these four franchises have strong winning traditions and knew how to win these things; but who was the front runner for the majority of the season? The Jays.  The Blue Jays had never fallen more than 6 games back at any time during the season, and bounced in and out of first place for the whole season.  They seemed to have finally opened up an insurmountable three and a half game lead over the Tigers with seven games to play, but the thing was the Tigers had 4 of those final games with the Jays to make up that deficit. The Jays beat the Tigers in the first two games of a three game set at home to open up this three and a half game lead and looked to put their foot on the Tigers neck with a home sweep of Detroit. The Tigers were down to their last out in game #156 staring down the barrel of a 1-0 game deficit and a four and a half game standing deficit with Kirk Gibson coming up. The 1985 World Series MVP delivered not only the tie, but what now seems like the division title. The Tigers went on to win that game in 13 innings, and the Blue Jays didn’t win again in 1987.  They went on to lose the final seven games of the season, including a three game sweep at the hands of the eventual division champs, the Tigers, in Detroit on the final weekend of the season.

2)1993 NL West Division race between the Atlanta Braves and the San Francisco Giants

When you have a division that takes 104 victories to win on the final day of the season, you’re talking about a classic for sure.  When you have a pennant race that involved names like Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz on one side and Bonds, Williams, and Clark on the other; it’s another indication of a classic battle. The games best pitchers vs. the games best hitters.  Four sure Hall of Famers and 2 borderline Hall of Famers, and those were the stars. There were also MVP’s, cy young award winners and the game’s best managers all rolled into this one epic pennant race. This ranks as #2 only because that’s the next number after 3, best in reality, it would be a 1a, 1b situation. On July 22^nd, this race looked over with the Giants racing out to a 10 game lead after the All-Star break, but then it seems the wheels came off; well as bad as a team that wins 103 games can be I guess. I think that’s what makes this race so much more remarkable was the level of play that was going on night to night. It’s not like any of these other collapses or comebacks where the teams battling it out were 85 and 86 win teams, these were 100+ win teams.  The Giants held no less than an eight and a half game lead until August 11^th when the Braves went on a 23-5 tear and made up all the ground they needed to make up. The Braves and the Giants stood at a deadlock on September 10^th, and then the real race began. From that point on, the Braves led but never got more than a 4 game lead on the Giants. Meanwhile the Gigantes could have just folded after the Braves stormed back to take the division lead from them.  It’s not like they tanked it, they played .500 ball, going 13-13 over that same stretch; nine out of ten times that would be good enough to hold a 9 game lead. After an 8 game losing streak that saw the Giants fall behind the Braves 4 full games, the Giants righted the ship and went on their own 11-1 tear to eliminate that four game deficit. This pennant race was every bit a heavyweight title bout, and a Triple Crown Horse Race; there were no other teams that mattered at this point.  You have the burgeoning dynasty in Atlanta taking on the NL West powerhouse of the late 80’s/early 90’s in the Giants; wanting one more shot at the postseason before Will Clark and Matt Williams ride off into the sunset. Now to give the Giants credit here, they were really up against it over the final four games of the season when they had to travel to their hated rivals, the Dodgers, and have to deal with that rivalry while trying to win the pennant; that is a large task. They won 3 out of 4 from the hated Dodgers, but they lost the last game which was the one they needed most. The Braves had the luxury of playing their final three at home against the Rockies who were significantly weaker away from Coors Field; and the Bravos took care of business as they so often did in the 90’s by sweeping the Rockies and winning the division by one game on the final day of the season. As for the Giants, not only did they lose the division, but they lost it at the hands of their most hated rival, the Dodgers, and they did it in spectacular fashion; they were blown out 12-1.  Here’s the good news, I believe that it was this pennant race that was the reason the Wild Card was created in Major League Baseball. To have a team win 103 games, and not get a shot at the postseason when the other division leader won only 97 games; as a matter of fact, the Giants were the 2^nd best team in baseball in 1993 by 6 full games and they did not get to play in the playoffs.  Next time you wonder why Major League baseball went to the Wild Card system, you could definitely point to this 1993 San Francisco Giants squad.

1) 1978 AL East race between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees

This might be the most storied pennant race in the history of the game, and I think the fact that it’s the Yanks and the Sawx is what makes this race so intriguing. This race had all the bells and whistles; a big comeback, another big comeback, Hall of Famers and a dramatic one game playoff. The Yanks stood 14 games behind the Red Sox who were a powerhouse at this stage of the 70’s with a World Series appearance three years prior, future Hall of Famers Jim Rice, Carlton Fisk, Luis Tiant and Carl Yastrzemski, AND a 14 game lead on the Yanks; things could not get better for the Boston faithful. That is until the Yankees did it to them AGAIN. On July 19^th, the Sox were 14 games up on the Yanks and even though it was as early as July, 14 games is damn near impossible to make up; especially when you’re chasing a quality squad like the Red Sox had that season. So the Sox did what most teams with that big of a lead would do; coast.  They played .500 ball over a 50 game period; should be enough to deliver a division crown with a 14 game lead, right? WRONG! The Yanks went 38-15 over that stretch and caught the Sox with 3 weeks to go in the season.  The Yanks tried to pull away from the Sox by going 13-7 over the final three weeks, but the Sox responded with their own 13-7 mark over the final 3 weeks, with an eight game winning streak to close out the regular season. That brings us to one of the best moments in sports, the one game playoff for the division crown, and back then it was monumental because it was win or go home; there was no wild card to fall back on. The fact that it was Red Sox- Yankees, in Boston, for the division title makes this game a classic before they even hit the field. The Yankees were coming to Boston to essentially defend their World Series title from the year prior, and they were sending their ace to the hill, the 25-3 Ron Guidry; needless to say the Fenway faithful were anxious. But heading into the 7^th, the BoSox were up 2-0, and Mike Torrez was cruising, but then the wheels came off; sort of.  In hindsight, this game played out like a microcosm of the 1978 season.  The Sox were up for two-thirds of the season, and two-thirds of this game; the Yanks came back in the division and took the lead late in the season, as they did in this game with a 4 spot in the 7^th inning.  This is where the “Bucky f@#king Dent” homer comes into play with two-on, two-out, tied at 2-2, and Dent, not known for his home run power, blasts one over the Green Monster to give the Yanks a 4-2 lead. Jackson added what would be the eventual game winning homer in the top of the 8^th to give the Yanks a 5-2 lead heading into the bottom of the inning.  The Sawx made it a go by putting up a 2 spot in the 8^th, but Goose Gossage shut the door on the Red Sox in the 9^th, and ended what might be the most monumental collapse in baseball history; until the Mets came along in 2008, and ’09…but that’s a different story for a different day.

Jay The Road Warrior - Stop 6 - Tampa

Waking up in Orlando I was a cranky prick.  I didn’t sleep much due to getting in late and I didn’t want to miss my phone call from Ryan and inadvertently get stuck in Orlando.  Also my allergies were bugging the shit out of me.  Watery eyes along with a nose that will not stop running doesn’t make me a happy guy.  Not in the slightest. 

My face is also itchy as shit.  I’m not sure if I mentioned this but I decided not to shave for the entire tour.  Although a 12-year-old girl has more body hair then I do my neck is starting to itch.  Maybe I should just quit bitching and being soft.

I spoke to Ryan in the morning and we decided that the band would head to Tampa during the day and I’d head down in the evening with Jeff since he planned on going to the show.  Now knowing that I had a full day to myself did I decide to go to sleep?  No shot.

I spent the morning with Brooke, Hanna, and Jeff.  When Jeff’s roommate Adam woke up we decided to sit out back and have a couple of beers.  Adam seemed like a good dude.  He wanted to hit the Orlando show up but had to work but digs the band from what he saw on YouTube and wanted all the records.  Of course I was happy to oblige so he gave me the cash and I told him I’d send them home with Jeff.  He did have an odd request though.  He wanted all the record covers signed by the band.

After sitting on Jeff’s porch for a while longer a few more beers we decided we needed to fire up the grill.  Jeff prepped everything while Adam and I headed to the local Publix (a grocery store in the south), to grab some brats and beer.

Grilling was very relaxed.  It was good hanging out with Jeff and just getting some relaxation in the swampy-humid weather that Florida has to offer.

Once Valerie got home Jeff grabbed a shower and we headed to Tampa.

We had a little trouble finding the venue as it was located behind a skate park, but nevertheless we prevailed.  The band was already there waiting so I met up with them and mingled with the folks outside the show.  One dude I met was this guy Jason, who was in town to visit his sister.  He’s from Denver and will be home when we play there.  He told me he can pack the venue so I grabbed his info.  Hopefully he’s not full of shit.  I guess we will see when we hit Denver.

The show was good.  A good sized crowd and people seemed to be into the music.  I’m not exactly sure how many bands played that night from not paying attention and just running in and out of the venue, but there were some good ones.

Mixtapes went on before us.  They’re a punk rock band from Cincinnati.  When I first saw them hit the stage I immediately didn’t think I was going to like them because the singer was a chick.  Not to sound outrageously sexist, but a chick belongs in the kitchen making me dinner, not playing rock ‘n roll (take that you feminist bitches).  Ok, I kid…  Outside of the band Tilt I never really got into female singers.  Well now I like two as the Mixtapes were spot on.  Good sound and not over the top.  Next time they hit up Philly, I’m there.

The Fake Boys went on next and did what they do best; f*ck shit up.  The crowd was feeling the music and the vibe in the entire place was really good.  Like it’s gone the tour so far, easily the best band of the night.

The only other band I recall playing was The Dukes of Hillsborough.  I remember seeing them a few times when I lived in the area and they haven’t changed much.  Still shitty post-punk music.

After the show we went to Taco Bus, a taco stand (duh), with Mixtapes and Glenn, an employee of  Kiss of Death Records (which happens to be The Fake Boys label).  At that point I was feeling good.  Maybe a little too good.  I recall at one point the singer from Mixtapes looked at like I was speaking Japanese and told said “Dude, you’re f*cked up.  I have no idea what you are saying.”.  She was correct.  This may or may not have happened for the following reasons:

1)      I may or may not have only slept for a couple hours the night before.

2)      I may or may not have been drinking beer all day.

3)      I may or may not have smoked some medicinal marijuana at the show and may or may not have smoked some other marijuana after the show.

Regardless of the reasons I may or may not have been marginally coherent, I indeed was.

After Taco Bus we all went back to Glenn’s house where we were  staying for the night.  Within 15 minutes I was passed out on my sleeping bag (prior to that I was passing out in a chair).

Well my comatose state left my wide open for the boys to teach my a lesson about passing out.  First they drew a nipple ring on my right nipple and gave me an earring (it could definitely could have been a lot worse, especially when I heard some of the other idea they had which will not be mentioned).  Glenn also thought it would be funny to let his lighter get nice and hot then drop it on my chest (well played Glenn), which gave me a little burn.  I can’t get pissed over it.  Shit, if it was someone else I would have done the same thing myself.  But now Ryan and Jim better hope they don’t pass out one night on tour.  Payback can be a bitch.

Overall the show was great and it was great to spend time with Jeff.  Onward to Gainesville!

Jay The Road Warrior - Stop 5 - Orlando

When I woke up at Lila’s she had already left for work (some people actually do work 9-5 jobs.  I don’t get it but maybe it works for them).  It was about 10:00 or so and I was the first one up (a pattern is starting to form here).  I raided her fridge for some type of breakfast food and grabbed a shower.

It was again nice to be the only one awake.  I gathered my thoughts, packed up all my stuff and sat at her table to write. 

After about an hour Ryan woke up and was ready to head to Orlando (I’m glad I did get up early, otherwise no shot of a shower).  We wasted no time loading the van and getting on the highway.

I can’t stand the drive to Orlando from Atlanta.  Not that it’s terribly far, you can do the trip in 5-6 hours, it’s just that Florida sucks to drive through.  It’s flat, straight and boring.  My girlfriend at the time lived there while I lived in Atlanta, so I made a weekly trip on weekends to head to Orlando and I loathed it.

If driving through Florida has a redeeming value it’s the shitty anti-abortion billboards you see every 200 feet on I-75.  They are very self-righteous, but give me a chuckle nonetheless.

I was really looking forward to the show in Orlando.  Since I used to live there I still have friends I keep in contact with who I haven’t seen in years.  Also my brother Jeff and his family live there so it was an opportunity to see them.  This was also a show in a bar called Hoops Tavern, not a house or performance space so on a Friday night there’s a better shot some stragglers might just walk in off the street while touring Downtown Orlando.

I spent the van ride text messaging anyone I knew in the Orlando area.  Shit, I even sent Facebook messages to ex-girlfriends telling them to come out and bring their husbands.  I didn’t care who showed up, I just wanted Orlando to represent with a good crowd.  My brother confirmed he would be there and he was spreading the word to his friends, plus I had confirmation from Eric and John so I was stoking the gig.

When we hit Orlando I couldn’t believe how much it changed since my last visit there (which was 2001).  It was definitely a lot bigger and a lot more things were going on.  A far cry when I used to refer to it as purgatory.  I used that reference because it seemed like nothing ever evolved in Orlando.  It was stagnant.  I remember when I moved back to Orlando from Atlanta.  I went to some places I used to go to and I saw the same people, wearing the same clothes, working the same jobs (although with the economy the job might be a good thing).  I felt there was no progress there.  It was good to see it finally coming around and actually trying to be a real city.

When we arrived Eric and Jeff were already there, both not recognizing each other and watching the NFL network on the TV.

I caught Eric’s eye first and it was great to see him.  He was my best friend when I lived in Florida and we were pretty much inseparable.  We used to be known as “Andre Agassi and his bodyguard” (for the obvious reasons that he looks like Andre Agassi and I’m a bigger guy.  Or is it the other way around?).  It actually got us free drinks many a night.  We had some notorious nights of drunken shenanigans, but also some solid memories like when I was there the night he met his wife (SIDEBAR:  He probably doesn’t want me to say this, but I take full credit for them being together.  The night they met Eric was low on funds and I bought a beer for her, from him of course.  If that little incident never happened, who knows where they would be.  I love you E).

Then of course Jeff.  Jeff is my youngest brother by 12 years.  He lives in Florida with his fiancée Valerie, and their two kids, Brooke and Hanna.  Aside from now being taller than me (you bastard), it was great seeing Jeff.  He also stepped up for the cause bringing eight of his friends along.  He immediately handed me a beer and the three of us started catching up.  At first I found it a bit strange because it was the first time I ever drank a beer with my little brother (I guess at 25 he’s not that little anymore), but that faded quickly.  A few minutes later my buddy John showed up.

It was also really good to see John because it was about 10 years overdue.  I met John in 1997 at my then job at Flagstar Bank.  We immediately hit it off and because the characters of the office and would take daily lunch breaks together.  Although we were both adults we did juvenile crap all the time.  One time in the middle of August, we decided to go to lunch.  Only this time we had a challenge for each other.  We kept the windows rolled up and turned the heat on as high as it could possible go (pretty smart huh?).  After about 15 minutes neither of us would back down, but we were both soaked from sweat (wow, that sounds gay), and in our work clothes.  Finally we called a truce.  When we returned to the office with moist business causal attire, the entire office looked at us like we were assholes.  I’m good at playing that part.

Anyway so we all sat around and drank beer like it was going out of style.  One thing I learned is when people don’t see you for a while and you’re poor (much like myself), they tend to buy you drinks.  So I had tall boy cans of Pabst coming at me from all directions (not that I’m complaining they didn’t go to waste, and thank you Jeff, Eric, and John, the favor will be repaid one day).

Back to the show.  There were six bands on that evening and The Fake Boys were on third and we had a good crowd.  The first band, whose name I do not remember, was god  awful.  I mean real bad.  It was mostly experimental noise with a bad cover of Pennywise’s “Bro Hymn” (as if there’s a good cover of that song).  It actually made me nervous because some of Jeff’s friends heard that and wanted to leave.  I made sure they knew The Fake Boys didn’t sound like that and to stick around so they ordered another round and waited for the Boys from Lowell.

The second band was Caffiend.  We played with them the night before in Atlanta.  They sounded good, but not as good as the Atlanta show.  The sound at Hoops wasn’t the best and the vocals were rough to hear.  But compared to the opening band, they sounded like the best band on the entire planet.

Up next were The Fake Boys.  Once again they didn’t disappoint.  The sound was better than Caffiend, but the vocals were still a little low.  They had one thing though; pure energy.  Joe was a beast on the bass sometimes only hovering inches from the ground, Ryan beat the drums harder then a redneck beats his wife for not doing the dishes, and Jim looked flat out possessed as the boys came to Orlando and flat out brought it.

I couldn’t tell you much about the bands after that.  I worked the merch table and it was a big day, the most I sold in one night on the tour.  When I wasn’t selling merch I was talking to Jeff, Eric, and John.  Eventually Eric left, he had to get up early for work.  It was great to see him though, and we need to make it happen more often then it has been.

Once the show ended, I decided I would split from the band and spend the night with Jeff.  He, John, and I bounced around for a bit, before John driving us to Jeff’s in the wee hours of the morning.  I’m probably too old to stay out all night, but I rarely see my brother.

Once we got to Jeff and Valerie’s, I laid on the couch and my night was over.  Orlando was a success.  I’d say the most successful show on this tour so far (at least since I jumped on).  The next stop is Tampa.  Stay tuned…

Jay The Road Warrior - Stop 4 - Atlanta

I was the first to awake in Johnson City, which made sense considering I was the first to bed.  Since it was early I watched a couple episodes of South Park, before stealing a shower (and Wes had hot water, which was sweet).  After washing my ass and getting all my shit together, I sat at Wes’s kitchen table and wrote for a bit. Being in a van with three other guys daily you rarely get time to yourself, so being able to write when everyone was asleep was nice.

Eventually everyone got up and we hit the road.

I was stoking the Atlanta show.  People who know me know I resided there for almost two years and if not for a stalker (yeah, that’s story for another time), I might still live there (probably not though, it’s a little too southern for my Yankee blood).  Also Lila, a close friend of mine, was coming to the show and I hadn’t seen her in years.

We used to work together when I was working for Flagstar Bank back in the day and became friends.  After I moved back to Orlando I visited her a couple times and we met up when I came down with a couple friends for Music Midtown after I moved back to New York (I’m pretty sure it was 2002).  Needless to say, I was looking forward to seeing her.

The drive to Atlanta was fairly uneventful.  The view driving through Tennessee was pretty cool as there were some pretty fantastic mountain views, but otherwise I slept a majority of the trip (SIDEBAR:  Sleeping for me in the mountains is essential.  The steep hills and turns really freak me out especially when you see signs for “out of control truck zone”. It gives me anxiety.  That’s not cool in my book.  I’m sure it’ll be a real treat once we hit the Rockies.).

As we rolled into Atlanta I shot Lila text requesting she would bring some starving artists beer.  The next thing I knew, we were at the venue.  The place was called Wonder Root and was supposed to a performance space.  It didn’t resemble that in the slightest.  What it actually looked like was a community center (when I went in to use the bathroom I interrupted a knitting class).  There was a “performance space”, but that would be the basement, where we set up (SIDEBAR:  There’s not an issue playing the basement.  In fact the band has had some killer house shows in a basement.  Always good energy and the kids are into the music, not some pseudo-scene.)

Alkaline Trio was actually playing Atlanta the same night (those sad bastards are following us around), but Atlanta is a lot bigger than Asheville, so hopes of a crowd were definitely there.

I’m outside smoking a cigarette, and who pulls up but my buddy Lila.  She didn’t come alone either.  She brought a cooler full of ice cold beer.  This was muy bueno. 

After a few beers and chatting with Lila, it was time to head in.  I wanted to see the band Caffiend, who was playing right before us.  Caffiend is a punk band from Orlando and would be playing with us the following night.  I’ve never heard of them before so giving them a listen to get familiar with their music (as well as see if I could stomach it), was a halfway decent move.

They were exactly what I expected; straight up punk rock with a good beat.

When The Fake Boys went on the room was fairly full, better than I figured considering the location and the big bad band Alkaline Trio was playing The Masquerade.  Like they’ve done the entire tour so far, the band owned the room.  There wasn’t a person not moving their head or leg to the beat.  Definitely turned out to be a good show.

I honestly don’t know who played after them because once The Fake Boys finished, I stood behind the merch booth to earn my keep and honestly didn’t pay attention to who was playing.  When there wasn’t anything going on with the merch I was knocking a few back in the parking lot talking to Lila.  Once the show wrapped up we headed over to a bar called 529 to visit Kyle, a friend of the bands.

Kyle must have missed them because I don’t remember seeing an empty shot glass and I never had an empty beer.  He was a nice dude and he definitely took care of all of us.  The bar also had a band playing so I caught a little of the set but it really wasn’t my cup of tea.  It was a local southern rock band (ripping off .38 Special is NEVER a good thing), so I guess since we were in the self-proclaimed “Capital of the South”, it’s expected.  Once we wrapped up at 529 it was time to hit the infamous Clermont Lounge.

If you’ve never heard of The Clermont, it’s an institution in Atlanta.  Technically it’s a go-go bar, but not your typical go-go bar you’re thinking of.  The average age of a dancer is probably 50.  Yeah, it’s where strippers go to be put out to pasture.  Although it sounds god-awful, it’s become a novelty in the area and touring bands have been known to stop in for a couple drinks (who doesn’t want to se a fat 50-year-old black woman crush a beer can with her fun bags?).

I was a little disappointed in myself though.  I was looking forward to hitting up The Clermont and getting a good laugh out of the deal.  Unfortunately I was a little tuned up from 529 and really wasn’t feeling it.  After a couple beers I was ready to go.  Lila took my back to her place and the boys would meet us there later.

I got back to Lila’s, chugged a big glass of water, and crashed.  Atlanta got the best of me today, but no worries, I still had a blast and I’m sure I’ll be back there real soon to redeem myself.  Up next we start four dates in the Sunshine State.  First stop Orlando!

MLB All Time Disappointment Team

Too many times as sports fans we focus on the hero.  We relish in talking about the extra inning walk-off home run, the dominant pitching performance, and the careers of players who have become our favorites.  In doing this we all overlook some of the hidden gems of the game.  You know what I’m talking about; the free agent signing that never panned out, the trade that went down the wrong way and the guy the imploded your favorite team, the prospect who never lived up to his potential, or the guy who makes you scratch your head and actually wonder how he has a job in Major League baseball. 

Well here at The Riot!, we think it’s time that these players got their due.  They need a little love or hate too (depending how you look at it).  So it got me thinking, who would I put on an all scrub team?  Who has shit the bed so bad over their Major League career that they deserve my glorification?  So I made me a team, oh and it’s a bad team.

Don’t get me wrong, the players about to be presented might have been terrible on the team they played for but I still might have had some ray of sunshine in their career’s.

Catcher

Kenji Johjima (Mariners 2008-2009)

Johjima was the best catcher in Japan for the better part of ten years.  A former MVP and nine-time All-Star, Johjima signed a contract with the Seattle Mariners becoming the first Japanese catcher to join Major League Baseball. 

Like with Ichiro, the Mariners were hoping they caught lightning in a bottle.  They couldn’t have been more wrong.  While Johjima’s first two seasons in Seattle were relatively productive, his final two were a complete abomination. 

After the 2009 season Johjima opted out of his contract and returned to Japan.

Dishonorable Mention:  AJ Pierzynski (Giants - 2004)

First Base

Mo Vaughn (Mets, 2002-2003)

Vaughn was one of the most feared hitters with the Red Sox in the mid-90’s where he garnering three All-Star nods and one MVP award, prompting the Angels to sign him to a six-year, $80 million contract. 

Vaughn disappointed in Anaheim.  A terrible attitude made him a clubhouse cancer and injuries hindered his performance, causing him to miss the entire 2001 season.  

After the 2001 off-season, then Mets general manager Steve Phillips watched Vaughn hit off a tee and deemed him the first baseman of the Mets future (tee ball determines all).  The Mets acquired “The Hit Dog”  and his bloated contract for number one starter, Kevin Appier. 

Well like all Mets roster moves, this was another disaster.  Vaughn arrived into his first training camp a fat f*ck (his “listed” weight was 275), and was a media distraction because he needed to tell the media “how he really felt”.  In two seasons with the Mets he batted .249 with 29 home runs and 87 RBI’s before his career ended due to a knee injury (weak knees can’t hold fat guys).

Dishonorable Mention: Glenn Davis (Orioles, 1991-1993)

Second Base

Steve Sax (White Sox, 1992-1993)
Sax had arguably come off his best professional season when the Yankees sent him to the White Sox for Melido Perez and Bob Wickman. 

While Perez was nothing but a sub-.500 starter and known more for his antics with his batshit crazy brother Pascal and Wickman was nothing more that a middle reliever before becoming a solid closer; Sax shit the bed on the south side of Chicago. 

The former All-Star second baseman, whose career average was .287, batted a lowly .236 in two seasons.

Dishonorable Mention:  Matt Bush (Padres, Well… Never)

Third Base

Adrian Beltre (Mariners, 2005-2009)

Beltre has arguably one of the best season’s a third baseman has had in Major League history.  In 2004 Beltre batted .334 with 48 home runs and 121 RBI’s causing the upstart Mariners to sign him to a five-year, $64 million contract. 

While he continued to play good defense, he was a total bust.  He never batted over .276 or had more than 26 home runs and never eclipsed 100 RBI’s, essentially stealing from the Mariners.

Shame on the Mariners front office.  Never base a contract off a contract year.  In a way they deserved it.

Dishonorable Mention:  Andy Marte (Indians, 2006-2010)

Shortstop

Steve Jeltz (Phillies, 1983-1989)

Jeltz was one time a Phillies top prospect.  I remember actually having his Donruss “Rated Rookie” card (see above).  Jeltz’s best season in Philadelphia was when he hit .243 with four home runs and 25 RBI’s.  That looks pretty solid considering his career average was .210.  He actually had three seasons in Philadelphia where he batted under .200.  Take that Mario Mendoza.

What did the Phillies expect here???  A black guy from France with a Jerri Curl isn’t exactly Ernie Banks. 

Dishonorable Mention:  Rafael Santana (Mets, 1984-1987)

Outfield

Sammy Sosa (Orioles, 2005)

“Slammin’ Sammy” was a fixture on Chicago’s North Side from 1992-2003.  A seven-time All-Star, Sosa was a cog in people returning to watching baseball after being soured by the strike in 1995.  His 450 foot home runs followed by a mildly retarded bunny-hop had people watching every at bat.

In 2004, Sosa had a falling out with the Cubs organization and became too much of a distraction.  After the season they sent Sosa to the Orioles for Dave Crouthers, Mike Fontenot, and Jerry Hairston Jr. 

Orioles fans were stoked.  Already with the power hitting Rafael Palmiero, Sosa was the missing bat the Orioles needed. 

While Crouthers retired as a minor leaguer and Fontenot and Hairston have had somewhat productive careers as utility players, this should have been a coup for the Orioles.

Wrong…

Sosa was a total abortion in Baltimore, battling injuries, the player with Hall of Fame numbers batted .224 with 14 home runs and 45 RBI’s.  He also forgot how to speak English.  Just ask Congress.

To put salt on the wound after taking a year off Sosa signed with the Rangers and hit 21 home runs while driving in 92.  F*ck you Sammy…

Dishonorable Mention:  Jayson Worth (Nationals, 2011 - ???)

Outfield

Ken Phelps (Yankees 1988 – 1989)

While not an offensive juggernaut, Phelps was a serviceable player.  In five full seasons Phelps hit over 20 home runs four times (the one time he didn’t was due to injury).  The always aggressive Yankees felt that Phelps could be the missing piece to the puzzle so they traded prospect Jay Buhner for Phelps.

A total backfire.  Phelps was a mess in New York.  In parts of two seasons Phelps batted .240 and had 17 home runs.  Buhner on the other hand had a solid career with the Mariners having three seasons with over 40 home runs and an All-Star birth.

Damn, I miss the 1980’s Yankees front office.

Dishonorable Mention:  Greg Vaughn (Rays 2000 - 2002)

Outfield

Adam Dunn (2011 - ???)

Dunn is an interesting case.  A premier power hitter, but really he gives you all or nothing.  He will crush the ball but he’ll strike out a lot, and will never win a batting title.  From 2004-2008 Dunn had at least 40 home runs.  He followed that up by spending two years in Washington where he hit 38 home runs in each season. 

Even though he strikes out a ton and have never hit for average it prompted the White Sox to sign Dunn to a four-year $56 million contract, I mean chicks dig the long ball.

Dunn isn’t giving the chicks the long ball they crave.  In fact he’s become a two pump chump, and no chick digs that.  Through 99 games Dunn is batting .161 with 11 home runs and 40 RBI’s.  Considering Paul Konerko consistently puts up big power numbers as did Jim Thome is his time in Chicago, you can’t blame the park.

While it’s too early to really add him to this list, I really don’t care.  Adam Dunn is a scrub.

Dishonorable Mention:  Danny Tartabull (Phillies, 1997)

Starting Pitcher

Adam Eaton (Rangers 2006)

I’ve never been an Adam Eaton fan.  Personally the guy has failed wherever he has gone, and the above mentioned Melido Perez triumphs Eaton’s failed career.  Eaton makes this list, not because I think he’s a total shit, but because of he being the centerpiece and a big one-sided trade.

There have been plenty of one sided trades like then AJ Pierzynski to the Giants for Francisco Liriano and Joe Nathan or Bartolo Colon to the Expos for Grady Sizemore, Cliff Lee, and Brandon Phillips.  At the time these teams acquired players that helped their team and sacrificed prospects.  That is the chance you take in a playoff run.  My issue is the Rangers gave up All-Stars and Eaton did jack shit.

Eaton was traded to the Rangers for Adrian Gonzalez and Chris Young.  Eaton went 7-4 with a 5.14 ERA while Gonzalez has become one of the most feared hitters in the American League (and at one point the National League), and Chris Young went 34-25 and earned an All-Star birth.

Dishonorable Mention:  Kei Igawa (2007-2008)

Starting Pitcher

Danny Jackson (Cardinals 1995-1997)

Jackson was a key starter for the Phillies in their World Series appearance in 1993.  In 1994 he had a more dominant season going 14-6 with a 3.23 ERA.  In the 2004 offseason Jackson signed a three-year $10.8 million contract with the Cardinals. 

Talk about a mistake…

Jackson only lasted two seasons in St. Louis going 4-15 with a 5.48 ERA before being traded to the Padres.

Dishonorable Mention: Carl Pavano (Yankees 2005 – 2008)

Starting Pitcher

Storm Davis (Royals 1990-1991)

Although coming up with the Orioles, Davis found success as part of Tony La Russa’s pitching staff in the late 80’s.  In two seasons Davis with the Athletics, Davis went 38-21 and once free agency came he was a pitcher in demand.

The Royals, who haven’t been relevant since 1985 wanted to make a splash and signed Davis to a three year deal.  They were hoping “Storm” (his birth name is George), would take the region like an F-5 tornado ripping through a trailer park.  They hoped wrong… 

Davis lasted only two season in Kansas City before being dealt to the Orioles.  In his two years Davis went 10-19 with a 4.85 ERA.  The first season he was back with Baltimore he went 7-3 with a 3.43 ERA.

Dishonorable Mention:  Andy Hawkins (Yankees 1989 - 1991)

Starting Pitcher

Jason Schmidt (Dodgers)

Schmidt was one of the best pitchers in the National League for the Giants in the early to mid-90’s.  Over six seasons his 78-37 record with a 3.36 ERA earned him three All-Star nods and was an annual contender for the Cy Young Award. 

The Dodgers needed and ace and thought Schmidt fit the mold and inked him to a three-year $45 million contract.  That didn’t end well.  Upon his arrival in LA, Schmidt developed arm problems that kept him on the disabled list.  In his three seasons with the Dodgers, Schmidt only pitched 10 games in which he went 3-6 with an ERA over 6.00.

Dodger fans are still cursing him to this day.  I do as well.  Not because of his shit performance in LA, but his goatee.  I loathe the goatee.

Dishonorable Mention: Barry Zito (Giants 2008 - ???)

Relief Pitcher

Jose Mesa (Phillies 2001-2003)

Sadly, “Joe Table” (how he’s referred to in Philadelphia), is the Phillies all-time save leader.  No other closer since 1883 has had more than 112 saves like Table does.

It doesn’t mean he’s a good pitcher, and maybe I’m biased here because I HATE “The Table”, but when your all-time saves leader was 13-18 with a 4.03 ERA, he’s not exactly Rollie Fingers.

Besides, I’ve always found him quite disturbing to look at.

Dishonorable Mention:  David Herndon (Phillies 2010 - ???)

Relief Pitcher

Mark Davis (Royals 1990 - 1992)

In 1989 Davis was the best closer in baseball.  With the Padres he was 4-3 with a 1.85 ERA and a league high 44 saves, winning the National League Cy Young Award.  He was the first closer since Steve Bedrosian to win this award, and only the second closer since (Dennis Eckersley in 1992).

The Royals, trying to make a splash, sign Davis.  Much like all players who go to Kansas City his career died.  Davis was a total mess for the Royals going 9-13 with a 5.31 ERA and only 7 saves.  This was over three seasons.

Dishonorable Mention:  Danys Baez (Phillies 2010-2011)

Relief Pitcher

Joel Zumaya (Tigers 2006 - 2010)

I loved Zumaya when he first came up with the Tigers.  He threw 100 MPH, and had all the tools to be the best closer in baseball for years to come.  The Motown City was stoked about this.

In unfortunately Joel wasn’t.  His true passion was Guitar Hero, not pitching.  His obsession with Guitar Hero actually exceeded his love for pitching.  Zumaya was placed on the disabled list due to an arm injury from playing Guitar Hero.

Are you serious???  This has to be the only video game induced disabled stint in the history of baseball.

Since the injury Zumaya has become an afterthought.  Poor Joel…

Dishonorable Mention:  Danys Baez (Orioles 2007-2009)

There you have it, practitioners of Advanced Fandom.  Agree?  Disagree?  I want to hear from you Rioters!  Hit me up at shatmeself@yahoo.com.