Top 5 Biggest A*Holes in Atlanta Sports History

In celebration of the city of Winnipeg in Manitoba, Canada stealing away the NHL franchise formerly known as the Atlanta Thrashers (the cities 2nd such failure in this league) officially yesterday, we here at The Sports Riot! have decided to have another day of jubilant partying in honor of the Winnipeg Jets returning to the NHL next season. We don't want to blow our own horn here but, we were with this story over a week ago, and we've been with Winnipeg from the gate. The Riot! has decided to make the Winnipeg Jets one of there teams. So we are celebrating, but this time along with the praise that the patient city of Winnipeg deserves, there will be mostly some scathing commentary on the worst pro sports city in America for sure, quite possibly the world; I'd have to check out the Southern Zimbabwe Lacrosse league to verify that claim. So I will kick this one off in style with one of our great, if not legendary at this point, top 5's. Today, it's the city of Hot-lanta's top 5 Biggest A*Holes in the History of Atlanta Sports ever.  Let's face it, whether or not Atlanta has a great team, or a horrendous team, the fans wouldn't know it anyway. Evident by all those empty seats during those playoff runs the Braves made through the 90's. So this list is for us fans who are not oblivious to the results of the game, and aren't just there for the atmosphere. <yuck>

5- Scott Mellanby (RW Atlanta Thrashers 2005-06) - I know he only played 2 years for the Thrashers, and it was at the end of his career, but holy crap did I hate this guy.  As a Ranger fan, I saw him constantly with Philly, and he was a cheap shot giving, pain in the ass who always seemed to come up with the big goal.  Then that annoying crap with the "Rat-Trick" started in Florida in '96 and that just about did for me. (The "Rat-Trick" was a thing the Panther fans came up with after it was rumored that Mellanby killed a rat in the locker room with his stick. From that point on, every time a Panther would score during home games, fans would throw plastic rats on the ice. It was ghetto, and stupid.) He was a perennial leader in the Penalty-in-Minutes stat, so you know he was an A*Hole.  Sorry Atlanta for even including him in the top 5.  There are way bigger fish to fry in your armpit of a city, but I felt including a Thrasher on this list was necessary. 

4- Michael Vick (QB-Atlanta Falcons 2001-06) - I know that Vick would normally make the top two on almost any list made regarding A*Holes in sports, but I think Vick has done enough to slide out of the top two.  However, no player has left a team in such a lurch as this once self absorbed dog lover. After the team and the city stuck with him (as well as the ATL can "stick" with a player, since they suck, remember) through two injury plagued, non-playoff seasons, he gets arrested for masterminding a dog fighting ring.  I don't care how much you do to make amends, you will always fall on an A*Hole list for that.

3- Jerry Glanville (Head Coach - Atlanta Falcons '90-'93) - I bet Jerry is actually a nice guy. I bet he's a good friend and a loving father and husband and all those things that define a good guy. But this over-the-top caricature of a human being just grated on my nerves.  First off, he wasn't that good of a football coach.  Not in Houston and especially not in the ATL. Secondly, he had this way of speaking that made you want to stick some straw in your mouth and f$%k your sister. He's a hick is what I'm saying here. He's a love your mama a little too much, 3 tooth havin', eatn' mayonnaise sandwiches for dinner, big belt buckle wearin', falling in love with your cousin, kinda guy. You know, the kind of guy that when he speaks, you kind of here banjos in the background. That kind of guy is cute for 5 minutes if he's your head coach, much longer if it's a comedy of some sort, because that shit is funny.

2- Larry "Chipper" Jones (3b - Atlanta Braves '93-present) - Larry, Larry, Larry. Can I call you Larry? I know you like to go by "Chipper" but really, you're like 39 years old now, time to give up the nickname. I have to admit that this is a personal one for me.  Larry has been a thorn in the Mets side since '93 and it's made me hate him like he beat my wife in a parking lot. Yes he's a Hall of Famer, yes he was on great teams and yes there is very little evidence of him being a dick.  But he was to Mets fans, by beating them relentlessly all the time. I mean he never, EVER let us win. He is the National League version of Derek Jeter to the Mets.  If it was a big spot, and Larry stepped up to the plate, he was going to get the hit he needed to get. I'm aware that this is probably a really petty and immature way of dealing with the emotional damage that Larry has caused me over the years; about as mature as calling yourself "Chipper" at the age of 39, but F%^k it, that's why I have this site.

1- John Rocker (RP - Atlanta Braves (98-01) - This guy was the King of all A*Holes for about one year, but man when you have the spotlight, you must make the most of it and boy, Rocker sure did. First off, he was a flash in the pan closer for the Braves who was good for maybe 2 years. Second of all, he looks like a retarded caveman, which is somewhat redundant. His assent to King of the A*Hole heap began in Queens when he flipped the Shea Stadium faithful the bird while walking off the mound after an appearance against the Mets. Then an interview surfaced in 2000 where Rocker was asked about playing in NY and his answer was "hick" ignorant.
                    "I'd retire first. It's the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you're riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing... The biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?^"  

WOW! that is a special kind of racist A*Hole.  Rocker is so much of an A*Hole, that he even talked smack about his GM with the Braves calling him a "real a*hole," an "imbecile," and a "piece of shit."  I'm not one to disagree when someone is railing on a Braves official, but even I can say that that was over the line. Rocker was out of baseball by 2003 due to his lack of performance, and being one of the biggest douches in baseball history. His already tarnished career was totally invalidated when his name came up in the steroid investigations in the mid-2000's.  Awwww, poor Johnny.  I actually owned a shirt that said "F#$k Rocker" on the front in Mets lettering.  He is a dickbag, and Atlanta....he's all you yours.

So that's it, I'm sure I'm missing a bunch and by all means if I did send me an email at thesportsriot@yahoo.com.  Also, ATL faithful, all 20 of you, send us your thoughts, we are always up for a good laugh as you try to defend your fandom to a guy from NY and a guy from Philly, where the real fans live.  hey while your at it, why don't you write to a Cardinal and a Red Sox fan, that's where the real fans are....not in Atlanta.