From what I’ve read you spend most of your time watching sports, drinking, and hitting on women. What other hobbies do you have?
Keith- Cape May, NJ
Thanks for the inquiry. I’ve pondered it and that essentially sums up how I roll, with the exception of listening to mass quantities of music. But I’m not sure that’s a hobby considering I’m normally writing, drinking, watching sports, and hitting on women while listening to said music.
Did you see the Phillies game last night? 19 innings? Wilson Valdez? Flipping amazing!
Doris, Moorestown, NJ
I hung in for all 19 innings (it did help that the bar I was at had $1 Miller High Life’s during the game). Thank god Romero picked off Brandon Phillips because if the strike zone was the length of a barn he couldn’t find it. I was really nervous when Valdez came in to pitch, especially since it was the heart of the Reds lineup, but he got the job done. I did get a good laugh when he shook Sardina off when Votto was at bat. Little known fact: Valdez was the first position player since Babe Ruth in 1921 to start a game as a position player and get a win.
Who would pay $10 for a six pack of O’Douls?
Tommy, Gary, IN
Simply put; an asshole.
What’s your take on the state of the NFL? Do you think there will be a season in the fall?
Brad- Birmingham, AL
The NFL is in a sad state of affairs at the moment. I don’t see a season happening this year and honestly I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Hard feelings are starting to develop and level heads won’t prevail. I just hope it gets resolved without the owners trying to bring replacement players in. Scab football is a fraud.
I’ll be in Philadelphia next month for a business trip. Where is the best place to get a cheese steak?
Bridget- Raleigh, NC
I hope you enjoy your stay in Philly. We’re really not the assholes everyone makes us out to be. When it comes to cheesesteaks most people head to South Philly and go to Pat’s or Gino’s (they are located right across the street from each other). If given the choice between those two, I’d say go to Pat’s. If you want a little less touristy spot, Jim’s Steaks on South Street would be my choice.
If you do head down to Pat’s or Gino’s, be sure to wash it down with a cold one at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar. They’ll treat you right (I’m sitting here now).
On another note, when will you be in town? Why don’t you email me some photos and maybe I’ll be your tour guide, if you catch my drift.
The Indians are real hot right now, what do you think their chances are in the AL Central for the rest of the season?
Jim- Cleveland, OH
I briefly addressed this in an article earlier this week. The Injuns are a paper dragon. They are playing way over their heads right now and simply will come back down to reality. This is already starting to be shown by the ass-kicking the Red Sox have been handing them this week. Eventually I think the Tigers will take control of the division. The Twins are barely breathing, Ozzie Guillen continues to sink the White Sox, and the Royals, while young and talented are just shitty.
Fear not Jim, at least you’ll get a good draft pick in next July’s amateur draft. Good luck with the Cavs and Browns as well. I feel for you. It has to be bad enough living in a city like Cleveland aside from having crap sports teams.
Boxers or Briefs?
Scott- Boulder, CO
Really??? Um, this is a bit personal and a bit weird coming from a dude, but I’ll play ball. Let’s just say I’m a commando kind of guy (got to watch the zipper though because that can get tricky). I hope this fulfills your wet dream.
I was really pleased with your articles about hockey returning to Winnipeg. As a long time Jets fan my NHL heart has been homeless. Do you think they’ll be any other relocations coming to Canada?
Gayle- Winnipeg, MN
I would love more hockey in Canada and I really hope it happens. Hockey is not an American sport so to have teams in Miami and Dallas is just stupid. I would love to see a team back in Quebec and maybe one in Hamilton. The fact that the NHL has to own a team in Phoenix is flat out pathetic, and for the NHL to gain any momentum change needs to happen.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Harris- Haywood, CA
In a week or daily? How does one actually “chuck” wood? There are too many questions for me to ponder here to actually give a quantified answer. Here’s a question to you. How come no one has a “rumpus room” anymore?
This entire article is absolutely ludicrous, but I will stick to one subject that just jumps off the map. You come to the conclusion that golf is not a sport because, "rich, white people play it." So because people play it as a recreation means it's not a sport as well. What about the "rich, white men" playing pickup basketball games during evenings? Are you trying to say that is not a sport as well because it is also played recreational? A recreational activity is defined as doing something that you find to be fun. Why can't a sport be fun? You also seem to lack understanding on the idea of golf. You mention that you just have to whack a ball 450 yards into a little hole. How about the fact that the hole has trees around the corner that you must judge, all while trying to keep the ball in the middle of the fairway? Why is this a sport? Because it takes an absolutely insane amount of coordination to pull off and more practice than any of the major sports to master. The reference you make to a "man with duct tape and a van" also makes no sense whatsoever. What does that have to do with golf? Absolutely nothing. It is a disgusting statement that does not need to be in the argument. Comparing mini golf to regular golf? There is absolutely no comparison whatsoever. Regular golf consists of driving, hitting iron shots, and using your wedge when off the green. In regular golf you are on the green for maybe 2-3 shots each hole, while reading very difficult break along the way. Your rationality for golf not being a sport is because: rich, white people play it, there is a mini version of it, and John Daly isn't an athlete. Have you seen some of the athletes in baseball? There are pitchers, such as David Wells, who were more out of shape than John Daly. There are NFL linemen weighing over 355 pounds, and you are saying that John Daly is not an athlete? What about Tiger Woods? He can bench press over 300 pounds and is in better shape than most professional athletes. Why don't you try to fully watch and analyze the sport before saying it is a foolish game? You may learn that there are a lot more hardships involved than mini golf. This argument is pathetic and down right stupid. You have no facts backing up this post and it is just a rambling, terrible argument on your behalf. By the way, obviously the Olympic Committee disagrees with you as well as they are initiating golf as an Olympic sport for the summer Olympics.
Aaron- Parts Unknown
In all fairness, this wasn’t an actual email sent to me. This was a comment made on my “Sport or No Sport” article but for some reason it didn’t post. I don’t want Aaron to think his comment was deleted and not addressed, so I figured I’d address it here. Aaron didn’t provide his location, so like the former wrestler The Missing Link, he’ll be from “Parts Unknown”.Aaron,
Thank you for your comment and your concerns, but with all due respect, your argument has more holes in it than a block of Jarlsburg cheese.
The first thing you mention is “Rich White Men”. Did you actually read my article? When did I ever bring any type of race into it? I said it’s a leisure activity for the rich. I also mentioned doctors and lawyers. Are you implying that minorities cannot be successful? That’s not very nice.
I agree with you that sports, like recreational activities, are fun. So are games. I enjoy a day in the sun playing disc golf, but guess what. While it’s fun, it’s not a sport.
Trees? Really? They’re hiding around the corner? From what, a bodega? It’s not like these trees are jumping out in front of you and guarding the hole (that might make golf a sport). Again, as someone who plays disc golf, I know about those big scary trees.
You didn’t get my duct tape and van comment because you clearly lack a sense of humor. I don’t want to toot my own horn but it was pretty funny. (Chris agrees, hilarious)
You reference coordination. Auto-erotic asphyxiation also takes coordination (ask Michael Hutchence, oh wait, he’s dead) and that’s not a sport either. What golf takes is practice. You need a lot of free time to dodge those trees and make sure the ball lands on the wide fairway. If golf didn’t cost so much, 90% of the unemployed would be professionals.
If anything mini-golf can help a golfer. It’s good practice for a short game, especially if you can get it through the windmill.
Do you really think Tiger Woods can bench press 300 lbs.? I’ll give you my left testicle if he can do that. Wilson Valdez has a better chance of benching 300 lbs. than Tiger Woods. Woods is good at one thing and that’s banging strippers.
If you think my argument is “down right stupid”, you clearly didn’t get my point. You read golf wasn’t a sport and closed your small mind, then came up with a poorly thought-out response.
Just because the Olympics are adding golf to their agenda doesn’t make it a sport. Curling is an Olympic sport, and that’s the furthest thing from an actual sport. If it were, janitors would be the greatest athletes in the world.
Im not done with you cuz. I went to Rays and didn’t see you. Stop trying to hide from me cuz. You douche who makes fun of my wife? I’m gonna make sure you pay for it come hello or hiwater.
Vince- Philadelphia, PA
Vince,
What’s up buddy? You are my favorite person from Kensington, even if you have more fingers than teeth. Here’s a couple quick takes for you. How do you know you didn’t see me, considering you have no clue what I look like? (although your wife knows I’m a spitting image of Richard Greco) I’m also not hiding from you. It’s not like you’re hiding from actual employment. I never made fun of your wife, but I can if you’d like. (there is plenty of material with that shitshow, which in hindsight doesn’t say much for me) The best part of your email is that your grammar has slightly improved. I’m glad those night GED classes are working out for you.
Keep the faith Vince. Jay loves you.
What do you think the Mavericks' chances are in the NBA finals?
Glenn- Fort Worth, TX
I like their chances and I’m pulling for them. I want the Heat to crash and burn in the worst way. Also, I’ve always been a big fan of Jason Terry and always thought he never got the respect he actually deserved. They have a deep veteran team and have better defense then the Bulls or Heat.
I recently found out my wife has been having an affair with my long time friend. As much as I want to leave I love her and I can’t. She promised me it’s over and it will not happen again. Am I foolish for forgiving her?
Alan- Ocala, FL
Alan,
Don’t take this the wrong way but are you mentally retarded? Your wife is f*cking your friend and you’re essentially being a punk. How I see it you can do one of two things here.
1 – Stop being a pussy and beat the living shit out of your so-called friend (which should happen regardless), and ditch that filthy whore you married.
OR
2 – Pimp her out! If she’s good at what she does in the sack your buddies shouldn’t be getting it for free. You possibly have a giant cash cow on your hands, and with today’s economy, it’s like having a second job without working.
Personally, I’d opt for option two.
If I didn’t get to your email, my apologies I promise to get to them. If you have a question for Dr. Jay, send them to shatmeself@yahoo.com, and I’ll be happy to accommodate.
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