Thursday, October 13, 2011

The State of The Riot! and A Letter to Atlanta

Hey there Rioters!, it's Chris, your fearless leader and captain of this rotting vessel that we call "The Sports Riot!, here to tell you why we've gone a few days without entertaining the masses this week; laziness, straight up laziness. I've been sitting on my couch and God knows what Jay is doing. Of course that is not true, we would never abandon this "fandom" because you Rioters! are the best their is, and their is none other like you; so now onto the real deal. Jay has been on vacation and will be back next week, and as for myself, I'm behind the scenes trying to take The Sports Riot! to the next level while picking up the pieces of a shattered personal life (it's the cost of fame and fortune I guess, who knows), so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, here's something Jay wrote about 10 days ago, but it never got posted. For this I have no excuse, it just never made it. Now keep in mindm this was written the day after the Braves completed their epic collapse, so Jay was still confident about his Phils. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Enjoy. Any questions about all things "Riot!" or "Advanced Fandom, email me at thesportsriot@yahoo.com, or at chris@advancedfandom.com






Dear Atlanta,
I want to congratulate you on missing the playoffs.  Not because I wanted the Phillies to pull a sweep and set their franchise records for wins in a season.  Not because I wanted the Phillies to face the pitching-impaired Cardinals in the playoffs (we can file this under “careful what you wish for”).  The answer is simple.  You don’t deserve it.


All of us here at The Riot! have never hid our distaste and disgust for your city and it’s fans.  Without a doubt you have the worst fans in professional sports.  I was appalled when I was watching the final Phillies/Braves series of the season and how many empty seats there were.  Your team is in a playoff run, the entire season is on the line, and you have 10,000 empty seats at Turner Field???  If not for the Phillies fans boosting attendance there would have been at least 20,000 vacancies. Also, the “fans” who were rooting for the Braves looked more like they were going to play a round a golf than rooting for their favorite baseball team.  No one wears any jerseys, tee shirts, or hats. 


Hey Atlanta, I know it’s a tough economy but if you can spring for a ticket to sit your fat ass in, a hotdog to shove down your gullet, and a beer to drown the pain, you can drop $20 on a shitty Tim Hudson tee shirt.


It’s shameful, embarrassing, and it sickens me.


I hate your stupid tomahawk chop, I hate you’re stupid Indian chant, and I hate the fact more that it’s not even original.  You stole it from the Florida State Seminoles.


I did some surfing around to get the feel of Braves fans and if they are upset about this September collapse of epic proportion.  I found that no one seems to care.  On various message boards I read it was more important for “fans” to mock the Mets.  On the radio station I found all the conversation was about the Falcons and if Tony Stewart can win three races in a row.  It was as if the Braves collapse never happened.


Pathetic.


To be fair I did a similar inquiry in Boston to see the state of Red Sox fans and it was quite a different story.  Fans were irate, calling for the heads of Terry Francona and Theo Epstein and most wanted to string up the “gutless” Carl Crawford.  Now I hate all things Boston, but I respect their passion and I respect their fandom.


 I hope you don’t think I’m hating on your fandom because I’m not.  Atlanta has no fandom.  Atlanta is a mortification to the sports community, they are the Anti-Riot!


Maybe I just don’t understand the state of the Atlantian.  Maybe it’s because I’m a true sports fan and the city I live in has the best fans in the world.  Let people bad mouth Philadelphia all day long (which is another thing I found on message boards.  It’s pretty funny when rednecks in a trailer part are calling Philadelphians white trash), we are fans who live and die by our teams, and I get that you wouldn’t understand. 


The one thing I do find entertaining in your sub-metropolitan city is the news headlines.  The first headline I saw this morning on the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s website was. “Birthday Celebration Cut Short By Shooting” (a man gave a guy $10 for his birthday, then later wanted $4 back, and the man refused, so he shot him) and “Keeping the Mentally Ill Out of Jail”. 


Stay classy Atlanta…


So while I’ll be rooting my Phillies on to the World Series (HAHAHA…..too early to laugh?)  you guys will be counting the days until Sunday so you can listen to the NASCAR race on your transistor radio.  All isn’t bad though.  At least hockey starts up in a week.  Oh wait, you lost that too; for the second time.  So weak…


I’m I wrong Atlanta?  I’m calling you out.  Challenge me.  Email me at shatmeself@yahoo.com and tell me that I’m wrong.  Your teams are a joke, your fans are a joke, and above all your entire city is a joke.  So until I see different you clowns will continue to get hammered by all of us at The Riot! any chance we get.


Insincerely yours,


Jay Platt
The Sports Riot!

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