Thursday, June 23, 2011

Punch in the Face List 1

About two years ago I started a blog entitled “The Punch in the Face List”.  I would daily write a post about someone I wanted to punch in the face (hence the name of the blog).  Unfortunately I wasn’t disciplined enough (even though there are a ton of people I’d like to punch in the face), and got busy with other things so eventually the blog went by the waist side.  Then I got to thinking it might be fun to occasionally write who I want to punch in the face when they piss me off.  Last week someone pissed me off pretty damn good, and actually has pissed me off for a long while now. 

So the inaugural member of the Punch is the Face List is Hall of Fame third baseman, Mike Schmidt.

While Mike Schmidt is probably the greatest third baseman of all-time, and still considered a hero in my home city of Philadelphia, since he hung up the spikes, he’s a jackass who constantly puts his foot in his mouth.

Originally he made headlines in 2005 stating if he played during the steroid era he would most likely do them (he did recant this statement in his 2006 book).  He also isn’t a big fan of giving out autographs because he insists people are just trying to make money on his name.  He actually said something to the effect that once his name goes on a ball the value goes from $10 to $100 (Mike clearly didn’t research this because you can pick up an autographed ball on eBay for $25 bucks).

What really have been grinding my gears about Michael Jack are his more recent comments.  He currently feels he’s the be all/end all of Major League Baseball and will give his opinion to anyone who will listen.

I touched on this last week during a rebuttal to Chris, but if you didn’t read it (which I’m sure you have and if not, go piss up a rope), here’s a quick recap.  Washington Nationals top prospect, Bryce Harper hit a home run last week.  After admiring it, he blew a kiss to the pitcher after he rounded third base (such a bush league move).  This pissant stunt did get a lot of attention in the sporting arena, and Schmidt had to chime his two cents.

“I would say Bryce, if you’re going to hit a lot of ‘em you’d better learn not to show up the pitcher because it’s only going to get tougher and tougher on you if you watch your home runs.  Just hit your home runs and hit ‘em like you’re used to hitting them, not like your surprised when you hit one…  I hate to bring this into it, but I would think at some point the game itself, the competition on the field, is going to have to figure out a way to police this young man.  If indeed his manager won’t the game will end up taking care of it.”

As much as I disagree with what Harper did and I’m totally against showing up a pitcher (and if it was me on the mound he would have caught one in the ribs in his next at-bat), Mike didn’t think this one through.  How the game is played today, no one is getting policed.  It’s not how when Schmidt played and you would catch one in the ribs or possibly the benches clearing.  Pitchers in today’s game don’t even through inside, no less brush someone back (or intentionally hit them).  If that game was still played today you wouldn’t see people admiring home runs, but trotting around the bases and jogging into the dugout.

This isn’t the only boneheaded comment that Michael Jack Schmidt has made over the past couple weeks.

In the wake of Buster Posey breaking his ankle as a result of a home plate collision it brought out a bunch of opinions.  Giants fans cried, Giants GM Brian Sabean made an asshole out of himself on the radio (which prompted more crying from Giants fans), and even Hall of Fame catchers like Johnny Bench chimed in (in which Bench said the injury was Posey’s fault for not being in the right position, cry some more Giants fans).

During this time Schmidt appeared on ESPN’s “Mike & Mike in the Morning”, and even though he claimed he only saw the play once or twice, he had to stick his foot in his mouth.  The Mike’s asked him if he had a great catcher, would he want them to blow the plate or to lay down a sweep tag to avoid and potential injury.  Here’s Mike’s response:

“Well if I had a great catcher, you mean if Mike Piazza was my catcher, as opposed to, let’s say, Carlos Ruiz is my catcher.  ‘Carlos I want you to block the plate!’, which is not a big deal on the offensive side and I can afford to lose you.”

F*cking really???

With all due respect Mike, you did a good job of sounding like an choad on a national radio program.  Offense isn’t everything you dick.  While Piazza was arguably one of the best hitting catchers of all-time, he was a defensive disaster.  He couldn’t throw a runner out trying to steal a base, he didn’t know how to call a good game, and a dirty pair of sneakers could block the plate better.  While his offensive heroics helped his team win games, his defensive deficiencies cost his team games (he also had a serious mullet and at the time it was a bit dated).

Now Ruiz clearly isn’t the offensive juggernaut that Mike Piazza is, he’s far from being considered a scrub player like Kenji Johjima.  Ruiz did bat over .300 last season, and is a career .280 hitter in the playoffs.  The catcher’s position  isn’t solely about offense and Schmidt clearly didn’t grasp that.  Maybe he should talk to the Phillies pitching staff and hear the stories about how Chooch’s (Ruiz’s nickname) value is far beyond what is in the box score.  Maybe he should ask Roy Halladay about his two no hitters last season, or how Brad Lidge (who is junk), felt comfortable throwing any pitches in the dirt because Ruiz would block them and bar the fear of a wild pitch late in the game.

Michael Jack, for these comments you deserve a punch in the face and possibly need to get your foot surgically removed from your mouth.

Cry Meter
Mike’s a pompous guy but I’m pretty confident I’d kick his ass, and I’m thinking the tears will fly (after he gave his opinion on my punch).  I’m giving him 7 (out of 10), teardrops.


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