Now What?

So everyone is still alive I presume? We all survived the rapture? Rumors were that The Macho Man went into heaven and gave Jesus a flying elbow to stop him in his tracks. I don't know how true that is but it makes for a great painting and an even better story. In celebration of the second chance we were all given, Jay and I have decided to pollute the internet with more of The Riot! starting today.

In preparing for the impending apocalypse I began to think about all the things I was going to miss if the world ended on Saturday.  You know, the obvious things; friends, family, watching my kids grow up, reality TV, Jay's drunken texts, you know the real quality things in the world. But after a few minutes of that drek, I started to think of things that I was glad I was going to miss if raptured now.  So I thought this list needed to be shared, so here it is:

1-Another Yankee Drama - Enough already. Nothing is more annoying than a team that can buy anybody and still has infighting, and losing. Not to mention a saturday rapture after a friday Mets victory over the Yanks would have been a great way to go.

2-The NY Jets are good - Right now, the Jets are amongst the top 5 teams in football.  I could die knowing that and be happy.  On a side note, how sad is it that as a Jets fan, top 5 is good enough. yuck.

3-I will never have to endure a new Jim Carrey movie - I didn't realize how lucky I could have been if raptured on Saturday.  During the the Sharks-Canucks game yesterday I saw it, some new Jim Carrey movie about Penguins who live in his apartment with him.  Can we say it's over for Jim?

4-I could die knowing that front runners everywhere did not win the last championships - This is fuzzy math but I had to make work it for me right, the rapture was upon us. The Yanks lost, the Red Wings lost, the Cowboys had lost and the Lakers just lost.....all front runners must deal with that for eternity, it would have been great.

5-This would have been the best, Oprah is about to have her last show this week and apparently it's a big deal. Nothing would make me happier than to see Oprah not get the chance to pat herself on the back for the luckiest broadcasting career ever.  I've never seen someone with less ability get so much hype and influence with the threat of torture behind it.  Then again have you seen that show, it is torture.

That's my short list, I bet you had yours in your head, send it over to us at thesportsriot@yahoo.com and we'll add them to this list.  We've all had the rapture moments, we want to here yours.