Jay's MLB Postseason Prep Kit

I absolutely love this time of year.  Football is in full swing, hockey is about to start up, the weather is beginning to get bearable outside, my birthday is approaching, and most importantly it’s time for baseball!  After 162 grueling  pre-season games over the spring and summer, eight teams will battle over the month of October for 11 wins.  Should a team make it to 11 wins?  They win the Fall Classic and claim ownership of the World Series Trophy.  All this while the fans like us sit on the edges of their couches, congregate in bars, and pack the stands, as we lose our voices screaming for the teams we love.

After watching the Braves and Red Sox both completely implode (and laughing for a long while since both of those cities suck; I’ll address that later on), I looked into my crystal ball so we can all go to Vegas and make money on who will win this years Fall Classic. 

AMERICAN LEAGUE

AL East Champion:  New York Yankees (97-65)

The Yankees have the experience and the postseason magic that somehow rears its ugly head come October.  No one can argue that Derek Jeter can get a base hit in a straight jacket if it means it’ll lead to the go ahead run.  While this is true and the lineup is dangerous, these ponies aren’t getting any younger.  The biggest concern for the Yankees, and unlike Yankees teams in the past is the pitching.  Once you get past Sabathia, no other starter can shut a good offense down.

Lineup: Derek Jeter – SS, Curtis Granderson – CF, Mark Teixeira – 1B, Alex Rodriguez – 3B, Robinson Cano – 2B, Nick Swisher – RF, Jorge Posada – DH, Russell Martin – C, Brett Gardner - LF

Pitching Rotation:  CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett, Ivan Nova, Freddy Garcia

Closer:  Mariano Rivera

AL Central Champion: Detroit Tigers (95-67)

The Tigers had a sick second half which helped them cruise into the playoffs and clinch the division (that and the rest of the division is trash).  Justin Verlander should win the AL Cy Young and AL MVP, and the rest of the pitching rotation can hold their own.  You also can never count out manager Jim Leyland and the rabbits he’ll pull out of his hat.  They also have a strong lineup but a big weakness as well; the bullpen.  If you can knock a starter out before Valverde comes in, you can score some runs.

Lineup: Austin Jackson – CF, Wilson Betemit – 3B, Delmon Young – LF, Miguel Cabrera – 1B, Victor Martinez – C, Alex Avila – C, Jhonny Peralta – SS, Magglio Ordonez – RF, Ramon Santiago – 2B

Pitching Rotation: Justin Verlander, Doug Fister, Max Scherzer, Rick Porcello

Closer: Jose Valverde

AL West Champion: Texas Rangers (96-66)

The defending AL Champions proved last season was no fluke, and did it without Cliff Lee.  I like the Rangers lineup from top to bottom.  They have a solid mixture of power and speed.  Pitching is where I’m concerned here.  Although all their starters are strong and can dominate at times (as they’ve proven this season), they are young and lack a lot of experience.

Lineup:  Ian Kinsler – 2B, Elvis Andrus – SS, Josh Hamilton – CF, Michael Young – DH, Adrian Beltre – 3B, Mike Napoli – C, Nelson Cruz – RF, David Murphy – LF, Mitch Moreland – 1B

Pitching Rotation:  CJ Wilson, Derek Holland, Matt Harrison, Alexi Ogando

Closer:  Neftali Feliz

AL Wildcard Winner:  Tampa Bay Rays (91-71)

The Rays are a real gritty team.  On paper they don’t have the lineup in comparison to other AL playoff teams have, but they play team baseball, use speed to their advantage, and never say die (they’re the Goonies of the American League).  My concern is the pitching staff as a whole.  Price and Shields are experienced, but Hellickson and Davis are popping their cherries.  I’m also not sold on Kyle Farnsworth.  While he was strong this year, he’s had a history of imploding in big situations.

Lineup:  Desmond Jennings – LF, BJ Upton – CF, Evan Longoria – 3B, Johnny Damon – DH, Ben Zobrist – 2B, Casey Kotchman – 1B, Matt Joyce – RF, Sean Rodriguez – SS, Kelly Shoppach - C

Pitching Rotation:  David Price, James Shields, Jeremy Hellickson, Wade Davis

Closer:  Kyle Farnsworth

NATIONAL LEAGUE

NL East Champion:  Philadelphia Phillies (102-60)

The Phillies (my World Series pick) finished with the best record in baseball (most win in franchise history).  The boast a dangerous lineup and the best rotation.  Some people got excited when the Phillies had an eight game losing streak in September, but don’t be fooled, while it wasn’t pretty, the everyday lineup wasn’t playing.  In saying the Phillies do have concerns.  The offense has a tendency to go cold which is deadly in a short series.  Also there are concerns in the bullpen so starters need to go deep.

Lineup:  Jimmy Rollins – SS, Chase Utley – 2B, Hunter Pence – RF, Ryan Howard – 1B, Shane Victorino – RF, Raul Ibanez – LF, Placido Polanco – 3B, Carlos Ruiz – C, Pitcher

Pitching Rotation: Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, Roy Oswalt

Closer: Ryan Madson

NL Central Champion:  Milwaukee Brewers (96-66)

The Brew Crew (Chris’s World Series pick), have the best lineup in baseball.  From top to bottom, aside from the pitcher there’s no easy out.  Their pitching isn’t as good as the Phillies but it’s strong from top to bottom.  They have their own holes though.  They’re not very good defensively, and I question their bullpen.  It’s not particularly deep and closer Jon Axford has appeared in over 70 games this season.  That’s a lot of appearances for your closer.

Lineup:  Corey Hart – RF, Nyjer Morgan – CF, Ryan Braun – LF, Prince Fielder – 1B, Rickie Weeks – 2B, Casey McGee – 3B, Yuniesky Betancourt – SS, Jonathan Lucoy – C, Pitcher

Pitching Rotation:  Zach Grienke, Yovani Gallardo, Shawn Marcum, Randy Wolf

Closer:  Jon Axford

NL West Champion:  Arizona Diamondbacks (94-68)

The Diamondbacks are a good team but also the team I find with the most holes.  Their lineup can hit but they are all free swingers which makes them strikeout prone.  It’s all or nothing on most nights.  The pitching rotation is good and Ian Kennedy will get consideration for the Cy Young (the Yankees probably shouldn’t have given him up), but the pitching staff has no postseason experience (except for Joe Saunders).  Similar to the 2007 Phillies, the talent is good and young but the postseason experience isn’t.

Lineup: Ryan Roberts – 3B, Aaron Hill – 2B, Justin Upton – RF, Miguel Montero – C, Paul Goldschmidt – 1B, Chris Young – CF, Gerardo Parra – LF, John McDonald – SS, Pitcher

Pitching Rotation: Ian Kennedy, Daniel Hudson, Joe Saunders, Josh Collmenter

Closer:  J.J. Putz 

NL Wildcard Winner: St. Louis Cardinals (90-72)

The Cardinals have the best offensive numbers in the National League and the middle of their order (Pujols, Berkman, Holladay) is the best in baseball.  Tony LaRussa surrounded this group with hitters with speed who can put the ball in play.  Here’s my issue with the Cardinals; the pitching.  Carpenter and Garcia are solid but Loeshe and Jackson aren’t.  More importantly, their bullpen is an abortion.  The Cardinals would have won the NL Central if not for their bullpen and unlike the Phillies starters, the Cardinals can’t each pitch eight innings an outing.

Lineup:  John Jay – CF, David Feeze – 3B, Albert Pujols – 1B, Lance Berkman – RF, Matt Holladay – LF, Yadier Molina – C, Ryan Theriot – 2B, Rafael Furcal – SS (if healthy), Pitcher

Pitching Rotation:  Cris Carpenter, Jamie Garcia, Kyle Loeshe, Edwin Jackson

Closer:  Fernando Salas

CRYSTAL BALL PREDICTIONS:

ALDS:  Tigers/Yankees -                                         Tigers in 4     

ALDS:  Rangers/Rays -                                            Rangers in 5

NLDS:  Phillies/Cardinals -                                      Phillies in 4

NLDS:  Brewers/Diamondbacks -                           Brewers in 4

ALCS:  Tigers/Rangers -                                          Tigers in 6

NLCS:  Phillies/Brewers -                                        Phillies in 6

ALCS MVP:                                                              Jhonny Peralta

NLCS MVP:                                                              Hunter Pence

World Series:                                                             Phillies in 7

World Series MVP:                                                   Cliff Lee

Oh What A Night!

September 28th, 2011 will go down as one of, if not the greatest regular season day in the history of Major League Baseball. Last night you had four Game 7's go on at the same time. Last night you had the potential to set up two one-game playoffs to determine Wild Card winners. All of that hype and excitement was present before the games even started. Before the first pitch; four games, four cities, four teams, two playoff spots, and history is what was on the slate. And then they played the games. I'm not really sure what I expected going into these games, but I was definitely hoping two playoff games on Thursday 9/29. Until last night, I thought there would be nothing better than two one-game playoff games to make the postseason, those are the best. Last night what was given to us was three game 7's. Four games started within an hour of each other: the Cardinals in Houston, the Red Sox in Baltimore, the Braves at home against the Phillies and Rays at home taking on the Yankees. I know what you're saying, the Cardinals and the Red Sox have this sewn up right? Well the Cardinals made it clear early that they were going to stake their claim by hanging 6 runs on the 106 loss Astros in the 1st inning (they went on to win 8-0 in a laughter). The Rays fell down to Mark Texiera early, not the Yankees, Mark Texiera (Tex had a Grand Slam and a Solo shot in the first 4 innings to help the Yanks out to a 7-0 lead). While things looked bleak in Tampa, the Sawk were locked in battle with the 93 loss Orioles (the Sox are the most disgraceful bunch in this scenario). In Atlanta, the Braves had to deal with a Phillies squad that didn't seem to want to take their 101 wins and just waltz into the playoffs. In Tampa the Rays were coming to bat in the bottom of the 8th, down 7-0 and I have to say it was just another baseball

night at that point; the Cards had won, the Sox were up but in a rain delay, and the Braves were up ready to close out the Phils so at least we would get one playoff game on Thursday right? What went down from this point forward will go down in baseball history. The Rays MVP Evan Longoria launched a 3 run shot, capping a 6-run inning, and bringing the Rays within 1 run heading to the 9th; and the Phillies tied the Braves in the top of the 9th as Craig Kimbrel (one of the best closers in baseball) showed that he's still a rookie by choking away a playoff spot for the moment. It's funny to me how these things all happen at seemingly the same time or within minutes of each other. I remember so many times in baseball when historic moments all wrap themselves up at the same time when they feel like they could go on forever. In the early 90's there was a night when Fernando Valenzuela and Dave Stewart threw no-hitters like 6 minutes within each other (it was crazy, especially being from the east coast, those games ended at like 1AM so it was surreal). This became a similar situation, and it's one that seems unique to baseball. The first chip to fall was the Braves Freddie Freeman, another very good rookie (the Braves are going to be sick in years to come, but people in Atlanta will still not care) grounded into a double play in the 13th inning to end their season and cap an epic collapse (we'll gloat on that later). Almost 5 minutes later the Red Sox were poised to put pressure on the Rays who were battling the Yanks in extra innings (the Rays had tied it on a 2 strike, 2 out, bottom of

the 9th homer by Dan Johnson) but closing out the O's with their closer Jonathon Papelbon on the bump. Papelbon has had a very good season, but appeared gassed from the appearance the night before. Inevitably, the second chip fell when a double and bloop ended the Red Sox hope to play their way into the postseason and were going to have to hope the Yankees could help them back into a one-game playoff with the Rays (like the Hatfields hoping the McCoys will help them water their lawn, not an ideal situation). Less the 5 minutes later, Evan Longoria solidified his local MVP status by tucking a homer behind the left field foul pole and sending the Rays back to the playoffs for the third time. As a baseball fan, I thought I would never say that four regular season games would be better than two one-game playoff scenarios but in this case it's true; last night was the best regular season night of baseball that I had the pleasure of witnessing, and my Mets were no where to be found (as a matter of fact they were slightly embarrassing on this day).

A few notes on our losers.....
*The Braves and the Red Sox now have matching epic collapses to take about over the winter.  I find it odd that the Atlanta Braves used to be the Boston Braves, and it was the Atlanta Braves and the Boston Red Sox who had eerily similar epic choke jobs at the same time. Maybe Boston and all things Boston really do suck?
*Speaking of suck, let me take this opportunity to SLAM fans in Atlanta again.  I know we preach "HATE the team, LOVE the fans" here at the Riot! but my God, can you people in Atlanta support your team? They were on the cusp of making the playoffs, and last night there were so many empty seats at "Turn-your stomach" field that the cameras couldn't hide it. So it's no surprise that this team never wins the big games when you Braves "fans" can't come out for what is essentially a playoff game.  I know this has been going on for years so I'm not surprised, but I am mad on behalf of the Braves players; whom I hate.
*It makes me feel good that the Braves now have an epic collapse of their own that they can share with the 2008 and 2009 Mets, welcome to the club boys, it's gonna suck.

*Hey Red Sox, listen to the Riot! and all of your fans, you got what was coming to you and if you don't stop what you are doing you are likely to become a cursed franchise again.  It is very easy to regress back into that team that can never win, ask the San Francisco Giants (one and done). Look, you are not the Yankees and why would you want to be? The Red Sox went from being these lovable losers in 2004 (the idiots) to these corporate douches who get angry at people for texting them. This team has no personality, and nothing to root for.  Even Jon Lester's cancer survival seems less impressive. The Red Sox need to come back next year with a new attitude, and maybe some pitching.

*Finally, I don't know about but I find it odd that once the Pujols contract discussion went away and he got healthy, the Cards went on this run to the postseason (I'm actually wondering if you can pick up my sarcasm there?) Pujols in season where he missed 20 games and was very distracted for half the season finished with a .299 avg, 37 homers and 99 RBI, PAY THE MAN, he's earned it.

Other end of the season notes

*The Astros lost over 100 games for the first time in franchise history (106)which I find to be amazing that it's the first time that has happened.  They were the Colt 45's for like 5 seasons, that team sounds like a perennial loser to me.
*Jose Reyes should be ashamed of himself. I'm a huge Mets fan (which has been widely documented at this point) but what happened yesterday was an insult to my fandom and all other baseball fandom. Reyes came up in the first inning and laced a bunt single into the ground. After that, he
removed himself from the lineup to protect his .337 league leading average. What? Taking yourself out? You're lucky a headless Ted Williams didn't pop out of his grave and beat you to death with his 10 pound bat. This is such a p**sy maneuver. I hate to say this, but after Reyes did this, I was hoping for Ryan Braun to go 6 for 6 and win this batting title from Reyes (he had to go 3 for 4 to win it). What would possess a Major League Baseball player to do this? First off, this may have been Reyes's last game in a Mets uniform which he spent the first nine seasons of his career with, and this is how you want that to end? He claimed that he was glad that they won the game; really? If that was such a concern, why the first inning bow out? Finally, I can't imagine Reyes feels totally satisfied with his victory.  Ryan Braun wound up going 0 for 5, so it was never really in jeopardy, but Reyes kind of backed into this award to begin with by only playing in 126 games to begin with as compared to Braun who played 150. Next time be a pro and more off be a f**king man, and enjoy your money you self centered douche (I will love you again next season though if you come back to the Mets).
*BTW, Terry Collins, WTF is with the crying? Mets manager teared up when it came to defending Reyes's decision to pull himself from the game. Are you crying because you actually bought into that s**t, or because you know that the best leadoff man in baseball is indeed a self centered douche who WILL leave for the cash wherever it is.  If Kansas City could pony up $20 mil a season, he'd be donning Royal blue for the duration, losing 100 games per with a smile on his face.

So another summer has come and gone and I have to say, it didn't have my attention nearly as much this season as in the past but boy, they got it on day 162, because it doesn't get much better than that. Do you have any moments from this season worth sharing, you know where to go thesportsriot@yahoo.com, or AdvancedFandom.com, or follow us on Twitter @thesportsriot

And Now a Word From our Silent Partner.......

The final day of MLB is upon us and we’re again left with the cyclical crisis that plagues the 178 people across the planet that really give a rats ass about the Major League baseball regular season: the MVP race.

Is it actually a race? Seems to me more a marathon, one strewn with pamphlets for PED’s and marriage counseling. But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s leave A-Rod out of this. Madame A-Rod is about 8^th on the Yankee MVP list this season, a hair ahead of pitching coach Larry Rothschild who some how found a way not to poison AJ Burnett halfway through August, much to the chagrin of Yankee fans everywhere.

So who is the MVP of the American League? Is it one of the Red Sox studs (Gonzales, Pedroia or Elsbury) who have choked their way to the game 162? Is it Cano, Granderson, Cabrera, Bautista, Michael Young? All those candidates make an interesting case for themselves, but none more than the incomparable Justin Verlander.  Baseball enthusiasts overuse the term incomparable like they do Hall of Famer. But in this case it’s appropriate. He literally is without comparison. He leads the league in wins, strikeouts and earned run average. His closest competitor in the A.L. has merely 19 wins! That’s astounding. He also closes the season leading in innings pitched and WHIP.

For those who claim the MVP should only go to position players, you’re really stupid and should swim in a hurricane soon.  It’s not fashionable or intelligent to make the claim that the award belongs to those who don a bat on their shoulder. It is in fact contrary to the history of baseball. Hal Newhouser won the award twice with the Tigers during WW II. In a depleted league he only mustered 25 wins. Verlander, facing off against steroid injected apes swinging finely polished and tarred wooden maces matched his numbers in 2011. Denny McLean rounded out the ’68 season with Nintendo-like number of 31–6 with a 1.96 ERA. Translation… bananas.  Vida Blue in ‘71, Willie Hernandez in ’84, ‘He Who Shall Not Be Injected’ in ’86 and Eck in 92, just to name a few. In all, 23 pitchers have been ‘The Most Valuable Player’ of baseball since 1931. And why? Quite simply, they were exemplary that season and Verlander has been every bit of the term. Rewarding his accomplishments is only natural.

So why have so many jumped on the hitter bandwagon as the only deserving candidates for MVP? Well, my friends, chicks dig the long ball and that’s all I’m going to say.

----------------------------

National League Round-up

Matt Kemp is 10 points in batting average away from winning the bloody triple-crown. Is this even a debate? The second best hitter on the Dodgers roster is Don Mattingly.

___________________________

NFL MVP After Week 3

I have to credit my brother with this.

Peyton Manning. Is it not clear how horrendous the Colts are without Peyton running the show. Even the concession stands are sloppy without #18 behind center and allegedly there’s been an increase in on-the-job drinking at local machinery shops leading to serious injuries since Manning’s surgery. The only question that remains is whether or not we should change the MVP trophy to the Peyton trophy.

Watching the Colts on Sunday’s is like watching that fat kid scoop up the last of the mashed potatoes off the edge of his Styrofoam tray and squeeze it into his chubby, disgusting face. Stop it fat kid, just stop. It’s gross and we wish you (they) would just stop before we all throw up.

Random Thoughts w/ Jay - Jay Needs a Haircut Edition

It’s true…  A haircut probably wouldn’t hurt.  Not that anyone cares but I need one.  In all honesty I couldn’t think of a name for this edition of Random Thoughts and it was either “Jay Needs A Haircut” or “Jay Needs to Brush His Teeth” so I opted for a haircut, although “Jay Lacks Hygiene” might have covered all the bases.  Once again I digress.  Regardless of my current hygiene issues (I’m sitting at my desk, in my house, by myself, so there’s no one to impress at the moment) I still have opinions.

Fantasy Update

Well my fantasy life still isn’t doing as well as expected.  I did finally win last week in two of my leagues making me 1-2, but in the other two I’m 0-3.  In one league Miles Austin being out and Rashard Mendenhall s***ting the bed killed me.  It also didn’t help that Arian Foster still hasn’t played much and my opponent had Ben Tate.

In my other league, the Tom Brady to Wes Welker connection kicked my ass.  I need a big week in all my leagues to actual try and contend, because right now it’s been nothing but an embarrassment.

Monday night I totally dorked out and did my fantasy hockey draft.  It’s a 14 team league, so it’s pretty deep, but I’m pretty happy with my team.  I rolled the dice with young guys like Taylor Hall, Adam Larsson, and Brayden Schenn, but I’m confident going into the season.

Happiness in Buffalo

There’s not one football fan around, aside from maybe a couple drunks who live in the suburbs of Buffalo, that predicted the Bills would start the season 3-0.  No one predicted the Bills would lead the NFL in scoring, that Ryan Fitzpatrick would be one of the leagues top rated quarterbacks and that Fred Jackson would be in the top five in rushing.  If you tell me you did, I’m calling bulls**t. 

With the Bills huge win over Tom Brady and the Patriots (which I personally loved because anytime Bill Belichick cries like a child who didn’t get a candy bar at the supermarket I rejoice), have made a lot of people believers in the Bills.  They travel to Cincinnati next week to face the lowly Bengals, and unless the Bills revert to the Bills we have learned to laugh at over the past decade they will start the season 4-0.  That will be the first time since 1992 and that year they went to the Superbowl.  Back then I was a senior in high school, the Rams and Raiders were in Los Angeles, the Titans were the Oilers, the Ravens were the Browns, the Texans, Panthers, Jaguars, and Browns weren’t even in existence, and Jim Kelly was the Bills quarterback.  It’s been a long time.

So the question is.  Are the Bills for real?

I know there are a lot of articles talking about the Bills ending their 12-year playoff drought and they are a team that needs to be taken seriously, but sorry Bills fans, I’m not buying it.  On paper the Bills are not that good.  They do have some young talent but Fitzpatrick is a journeyman who is playing over his head and Jackson at best is a bottom of the league starting running back.  The NFL season might only be 16 games but it’s long and grueling, and the Bills don’t have the stamina to compete with the rest of the league.

I’ll compare them to another franchise that I addressed over the summer that was playing over their heads and that’s the Cleveland Indians.  Through the first half of the baseball season they held one of the best records in the league, and the people of Cleveland had a reason not to hate themselves for living in a place like Cleveland.  Like the Bills I said they didn’t have the stamina to keep it up.  At best the Indians will finish .500.  The same goes for the Bills.

Being Wayne Simmonds

Flyers forward Wayne Simmonds has made headlines twice in one week.

First when the Flyers were playing the Red Wings in a preseason hockey game in London, Ontario, a spectator threw a banana on the ice while Simmonds was taking a shot in an overtime shootout (which he did score).  Now under normal circumstance this really wouldn’t be a big deal.  The clowns in Detroit have been throwing an octopus on the ice for years.  The rednecks in Florida spent seasons throwing rubber rats on the ice during game play, but a banana might be different.  Simmonds is a black guy (or African-Canadian for the politically correct).

The league apologized profusely for this incident (probably to avoid the wrath of Al Sharpton), and made it a point to boost security so this wouldn’t happen again.  When Simmonds was asked about it he said he wasn’t going to dwell on it and it’s over.  I thought he handled it well and professionally.

Fast forward to Monday night.  The Flyers were hosting the Rangers and Simmonds got into a first period skirmish with Sean Avery.  Simmonds felt he was sucker punched and both players jawed at each other back and forth.  After the game Avery cried to the media that Simmonds called him a “fag” (or homophobic slur for the politically correct).

When asked if Simmonds called Avery a “fag”, he didn’t deny it. He just said that he and Avery both said things to each other that they each didn’t like.  I just find it ironic, that of all people Sean Avery is crying to the media.  This coming from the guy who acts like a pain in the ass and has the biggest mouth to hide his lack of actual hockey talent (he is the guy who referred to Elisha Cuthbert as “his sloppy seconds”).  Furthermore, I’m sure Avery’s comments to Simmonds weren’t bible verses.

Well now Simmonds is going to find himself in trouble.  GLAAD (The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), is calling for the Flyers and the NHL to have a full investigation into Simmonds homophobic slur.  Now Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke’s tits are all twisted and he’s demanding something be done (ironically Burke’s son is openly gay).

People really need to get over their sensitivity issues.  We are all one as a race in this world and people shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells with speech regardless of ones ignorance or sensitivity.  It is okay for a fan to throw a banana on the ice, essentially saying Simmonds is spawned from monkeys, but if Simmonds says the word fag, peoples panties are in a bunch and action must be taken?  That’s ridiculous.

Where was Brian Burke when Simmonds had a banana thrown his way?  Maybe if Burke’s son was gay and black, he might have stood behind no tolerance for racism in the NHL.

Ozzie Being Ozzie

Ozzie Guillen was released from his contract on Monday after not being able to come to an extension to his liking.  He wasn’t fired, he asked to be released and was granted it because White Sox management would not meet his demands of $4 million annually.  He did this with three games left in the season? (he is under contract through 2012 so he could have been released after the season, right?) 

This is disgusting.  I understand Ozzie thinks he’s better than everyone else and he tries to overcompensate for the fact that he’s under six feet tall with a motor mouth and a false machismo, but I’ve lost respect for him.  He could have had the respect for his players to finish out the season, than he could have stomped into Ken Williams’s office and demanded his release.  Leaving his team with less than a week left in the season is a real shit move.

A bigger shit move was his statements about the release:

“With the rings, I can’t do s**t with that.  But with money, I can go buy me a new boat, I can go buy me a new car, I can dress my wife the way I want to dress her, I can go to Spain. With the ring, I can go to United Airlines and say, ‘Hello, I won the 2005 championship. Can you fly me to Spain?’ Hell, no.

“Money is everything besides health. Money is next to that. A lot of people say, ‘Oh, love.’ They don’t know what love means. I guarantee you, if you raise a girl where I grew up and you’ve got no money and she loves you, but you put the same girl with a guy who’s got a lot of money, I’ll bet she’ll love the guy with money. That’s the way it is. I love you, but I’m hungry.

“I work in this job for money. I don’t work for nothing. Money. That’s it. The ring? F*ck the ring. I don’t even wear my f*cking rings. I don’t.’’

“You know what I saw a couple days ago?  I saw a 62-foot boat. That’s what I want, and that’s what I’m going to get. People have to pay me for that. White Sox? I don’t know. Marlins? I don’t know. But somebody will pay. I want to buy my f*cking boat. That’s my inspiration. My inspiration is money. That’s everybody’s inspiration.’’

“If I leave here, I will say, ‘I leave here because I want to make my f*cking money.  You know why? Because no f*cking fans, no f*cking Jerry or f*cking anybody is going to take care of my grandkids and put me in a 62-foot boat. That’s why there’s free agency.’’

It sounds like Ozzie has become Latrell Sprewell for a new generation…

I Could Go For A Beer

Seriously, I could.  Funds are tight at the moment, but if you want to swing by with some beer, we can sit out back, shoot the shit, and drink some suds.  Email me: shatmeself@yahoo.com.  The sooner the better, I’m parched.

Give Mike Vick a Tissue

By now you all know I’m a huge Eagles fan.  On Sunday’s I live and die in green.  I’m even a bigger Michael Vick fan.  I always have ever since he came into the league.  In saying this I can’t stand anything more than a whiny athlete.  It’s bad enough they make more in one year then me and all my friends combined will make in our lifetime to play a game.  They really need just to keep their mouth shut and the thankful for where they are in life.

Yet even after having $100 million contract, they’re still not happy.

After Sunday’s loss to the Giants (which was a total abomination, where the Eagles were outplayed and out coached). Vick vented to the media about how he’s isn’t getting the calls quarterbacks Tom Brady or Peyton Manning would.

"I was trying to protect myself.  Still didn't get a flag and that's pretty much been the story for the last three weeks. I mean, obviously at some point something catastrophic is going to happen and I broke my hand."

"Looking at the replays, I'm on the ground every time, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't frustrated.  The refs have got to do their jobs. And I mentioned it to the refs in training camp when I talked to them. I'm on the ground constantly, all the time. Every time I throw the ball, I'm on the ground. And I don't know why I don't get the 15-yard flags like everybody else does."

Look, I do see Vick’s point.  He has taken a beating so far this season, but bitching to the media isn’t helping his cause.  Sure, Vick does get hit more than most quarterbacks in the league, and I think there are cases when a flag could have been thrown, but there are reasons.

-          He holds the ball longer than most of his peers.  This isn’t a knock on him it’s just his style of play.  QB’s like Brady, Manning, and Drew Brees are pocket passers, while Vick is a playmaker.  While the aforementioned feel pressure and no receivers open, they will throw the ball away, while Vick will scramble and wait for the play to happen.  Therefore, he’s bound to get hit more than other quarterbacks.

-          Vick needs better protection.  I’m not knocking offensive line coach, Howard Mudd, but he needs to make sure that line gives him protection.  Again, being a playmaker he needs more time and the o-line needs to make sure that happens.

-          This is where I feel flags do need to be called (but still Vick didn’t need to whine about it).  Personally I think defenses like hitting him more than other quarterbacks.  Regardless if I come off like a homer, I think it’s true.  Vick has made a career making defenses look stupid, and not through the air but on his feet.  He also never slides when he runs.  You know lineman and linebackers would like nothing more than to knock Vick on his ass, regardless if the call is late or not.

Monday, Vick apologized for his statement.  Personally, I don’t think this came from Vick.  I’m sure management had a talk with him.

Don’t Text John Lackey

Sunday night Red Sox Pitcher John Lackey lashed out at the media for a text message he received from a member of the media.  Apparently someone found out Lackey filed for divorce from his wife Krista on August 30^th and asked him about it.

Now divorces happen all the time.  I’ve had one myself, as had 50% of the US population, but these circumstances are a bit different.  Krista is the middle of battling breast cancer. 

That’s f*cked up. 

I don’t care if his wife is gangbanging the entire Red Sox bullpen on a nightly basis, when your wife is battling cancer you put all differences aside until she beats it.  At that point you address the marriage if it’s worth saving.  The only reason Lackey is pissed at the media for finding out is he knew they would expose him for the scumbag that he is.

If anything she should have left him on the grounds for being an embarrassment on the mound.

Well there’s no haircut in my future today, but it’s time for me to shower and brush my teeth.  Do you agree with this weeks rants?  Did I miss Ozzie’s boat on something?  Let me know.  I’m always around.  Hit me up at shatmeself@yahoo.com.

Two Things

So The Riot! is growing so quickly that I can't even find the time to write anymore.  There are big things coming and I, personally apologize for the lack of content over the past two weeks, but that will change.  Jay is back and he will be taking over the reigns of this sinking ship for a while; I will be preparing the next BIG move for us.  Stay tuned.

For now I will contribute with what I will call "Two Things." I know I went from "Quick Takes" that were less than quick and a little long to "How it went down" and it did just that.  So now I'm just going to throw two thoughts at a time at you, when I can.  It's not an insult to you, it's just all I have time for now.

                                1

So the Jets lost on Sunday to the Oakland Raiders in somewhat of an ugly fashion and being a rabid Jets fan I was not happy.  But I have to say that I took that loss in stride.  I didn't throw anything like in the past and I didn't get that post Jets loss depression that I've become accustomed to.  None of that. I simply went on with my day and it was all good because it was just one loss; and it was an anomaly. So why am I talking about it, because Joe Namath and some idiots on ESPN have decided that maybe Rex Ryan is losing his team.  That his positive rhetoric is now beginning to fall on deaf ears.  That he is too much of a "player's coach." What? Because they lost one game in week three.  If I'm not mistaken, they won a dramatic opener against a pretty good Cowboys team and they annihilated the Jags to run out to a 2-0 start.  So they go to Oakland, and their D did not play well. Giving up nearly 200 yards rushing to Darren McFadden is not what the Jets D is supposed to ever do, but it does happen on occasion.  But let's be clear here, anyone who saw that game knows that if Antonio Cromartie didn't have his head is his ass during the entire game, the Jets may win that game; despite the sub par effort from the offense.  Can everyone just calm down.  First off, the Jets are 1-11 in their last 12 trips to Oakland. The Jets NEVER play well on the west coast during the regular season and this was their first road game of the season. My God, one loss and now Rex Ryan is losing his players? And I want to thank Joe Namath for giving Skip Bayless another ally in the war against Rex Ryan.  I had to hear him again about the target that Rex keeps putting on his teams back.  Look, has everyone forgotten the losing streaks the Jets endured over the last two seasons and where did the Jets end up? The AFC Championship game. Both times. Nice shooing Tex. So Jets fans, I know we are used to the dropping of the other shoe, and believe me it's coming, but not this year. The Jets will be fine, and they will show everyone who they are in the next two weeks. They will beat the Ravens,  and give the Pats all they can handle and maybe win that one (the Jets don't traditionally do well in NE during the regular season).

                                                                                                     2

So Michael Vick was caught whining about refs the other night. He wondered out loud at a press conference after the Eagles fell to 1-2 to the Giants, why he doesn't get the "roughing the passer" flags like all the other QB's in the league. So I went back and looked at some vid and yes, Vick gets hit alot.  Many of the hits are legal but some are questionable.  So I started to think maybe there is some silent backlash at Vick from the refs.  I'm not accusing anyone of anything, and maybe it's not even a conscience thing they are doing, but maybe some of the refs don't feel as warm and fuzzy (odd choice of phrase here) about the Vick's reemergence as everyone else seems to be.  Maybe they see their dog "Spike" everytime Vick goes down and it stops them from pulling that flag out. Maybe they are card carrying members of PETA. Maybe they are annoyed that Vick, an ex-con, again makes more money in one game than they ever will in their life and they think if they were to be convicted of such a crime they wouldn't be on an NFL field three years later? I don't know, maybe it's Vick's style of play and it's hard to see the extra hits, but I think I have an interesting theory at least. There may be something to it.
Then this morning Vick came out after seeing the doctor about his hand (not broken BTW, although it was wrapped up like a club, for a bruise? it was an odd look) and basically apologized for his comments about the refs and that they do a great job. I understand the comments right after the game, and I also understand the apology. These guys, just like anybody else, hate losing especially when winning is your job, so i get the outpouring of frustration that comes with a loss to a division and bitter rival, and a broken hand to top it off. I also get gaining some perspective the next day and realizing that maybe you said a little too much during an emotional post-game presser but I feel there may be something else.  See, Vick was a somewhat outspoken, flamboyant character before prison and since has been a model citizen who tries to keep below the radar. Maybe this mini-tirade is peek into what's bubbling below the surface. I'm not saying he's a bad guy (he never really was when not around K9's) or that he has an attitude problem; I think he has alot to say though and has held back because of the watchful eye of Roger Goodell (he's like the eye in "Lord of the Rings" if you draw it's attention, the fury of hell rains down upon you.....too dark?) and of the protesters. Look, Vick has gotten a second chance at the good life; many do not get this chance and he is doing a great job of being respectful and showing his appreciation to fans and the league, it's just something to watch as this "Dream Team " develops. (I bet he wants to put Vince Young down for that utterance)

Questions, Comments, Rantings, Christmas Lists or anything else you feel we should know, send it to thesportsriot@yahoo.com or follow us on twitter @thesportsriot

Jay The Road Warrior - The Lost Tapes

For those of you who followed my tour diaries while I was travelling around the country being a lackey for the Fake Boys, it is coming to an end.  Unfortunately last Wednesday I was sitting on my stoop smoking a cigarette and my phone was sitting on my lap.  Out of nowhere, some asshole ran by and snatched my phone off my lap.  I did get up to chase him, but he was long around the corner by the time I was halfway down the block.  This taught me two things about myself (aside from being a moron and not paying attention):

1)      I live in a real shitty neighborhood.

2)      I’m a fat bastard who is out of shape and needs to lose some weight.

Why would the loss of my phone prohibit me from continuing my tour diary?  Well I was taking notes from each day of tour in my notepad app on my iPhone.  Considering I no longer have said iPhone and I have the memory of a goldfish, I cannot accurately provide the details needed for an accurate tour diary.  This really pisses me off (besides from losing my iPhone), because I wanted to put all five weeks of tour together in one big piece for my own personal distribution (Christmas is coming).

I will leave you with one story I do remember vividly.

We were playing in Phoenix and spent the day at my cousins house lying by the pool, drinking beer, and eating lasagna (Anastasia and Mike, you rule!).  The venue we were playing was called Trunk Space and it was in a dodgy section of Phoenix.  We had some time to kill and noticed next to the venue was a bar with no windows called “The Bikini”.  Ryan and I decided that it was in order that we check this place out.

Now I know what you are thinking, the establishment had no windows and it was named The Bikini.  There’s a high probability of T&A.  You couldn’t be more wrong.

The bar smelled like a combination of stale beer and warm urine.  It was real dark and dusty; I’m guessing the place hasn’t been cleaned since Ronald Reagan was running the country.  The name “The Bikini” was oxymoronic because you wouldn't want to see any female in that bar in a bikini and any girl who wears a bikini wouldn’t consider patronizing the place in fear the smell might cause them to soil themselves (SIDEBAR:  Before I forget to include it, or find a place to include it, the bathroom was beyond foul.  For those who went to CBGB back in the day, the bathroom at Bikini Bar made the CBGB bathroom look like the bathrooms at the Waldorf-Astoria.  The one great thing was the condom machine in the bathroom.  Not only did it sell condoms but also a little book of sex positions, and “p***y pics” which were up close photos of the female genitalia.  Too bad I didn’t have any change.).

That didn’t stop us.  We’ve been in a van together smelling our own filth for weeks (which smelled 100 times better than The Bikini), plus they had cold beer and a pool table, two things normally lacking from the van (depending on how much ice was in the cooler).  We ordered a beer then Ryan, Joe, Luke from Lipstick Homicide, and I decided to play a game of pool.

Joe and I were getting our asses kicked by Ryan and Luke when something strange, at least strange for me occurred.

This girl walks in.  Not to judge her but she had a couple bad tattoos (but who doesn’t), bad skin, and I’m pretty sure she’s done meth more than once in her life.  Oh, she was also wearing a white dress very similar to Madonna in her “Like a Virgin” video, along with the lace gloves, and she was carrying a pizza (I’m also guessing she wasn’t a virgin).  Following her was a guy with a mullet (who appeared to be old enough to be Meth Madonna’s father), wearing acid washed jeans, a plaid shirt, with a carnation pinned on it, and a trucker hat.  Following that guy was an older woman wearing some type of designer sweat suit (not what the hip-hop kids wear, but something a senior citizen would wear to play bingo).  They all proceeded to sit a booth in the middle of the bar.

I joked to Joe “Check it out, it’s a wedding reception.”

We lost the game of pool and I sat at a table and focused on the trio in the booth.  They were eating their pizza, doing shots, carrying on like they owned the place.  At that point Jim came in the bar and I asked him if there was a car outside with beer cans tied to the back.  He told me there was, so I went outside to smoke and investigate.  Sure as shit there was a mid-80’s Toyota Tercel with strings of beer cans hanging from the rear bumper and writing on the back window that said “Just Married”.

Holy shit…  It was a wedding reception; on a Wednesday.

I went back in the bar, sat down, and stared at the happy couple.  Jim joined me, then Anastasia and Mike, and we discussed the happenings in the booth.

At that point the newly crowned bride announced to the bartender that it was time for cake.  Well considering the reception dinner consisted of a large pizza and Jim Beam, I couldn’t wait to see what kind of grocery store cake they would offer up.  I gave them too much credit thinking they would have a grocery store cake.  They had two Yodels.  Yes, you read that correctly, Yodels.

At that point the newlyweds interlocked arms and fed each other Yodels.  I did all I could not to laugh aloud but I had to walk outside because I was in tears.  If this was done as a joke and was filmed, it would be classic, but this wasn’t a joke, it was the real deal, which is very, very funny and very, very, sad at the same time.

Oh, but it’s not over yet.

I go back into The Bikini and ordered another Pabst (SIDEBAR:  I didn’t complain about the beer because it was cold and only a dollar for a pint, but I think the bathroom was last cleaned before the keg lines and you could definitely taste it.).  That’s when all three got up because it was time for their first dance.  The lady in the sweat suit (who I found out was the mother of the bride), grabbed a beer at the bar and shared her excitement about her little girl’s big day with the barmaids, while the couple was at the jukebox looking for the perfect wedding song.

After a few minutes of discussion they settled on a pick, the groom took off his trucker hat, which revealed he didn’t have a mullet, but a skullet (think Hulk Hogan), grabbed his bride and prepared to cut the rug on what appeared to be a makeshift dance floor.

There was one snag with the first dance.  They must have hit the wrong number on the jukebox.  Instead of a sappy romantic country song, it was a sappy country song about a girl who died after getting hit by a car (I swear you can’t make this shit up).  This clearly upset Meth Madonna because she immediately pulled away and demanded her mother dance with her husband instead.  Then the bride went to the bar and claimed she didn’t want her marriage to start with any bad “mojo” (I’m guessing getting hitched on a Wednesday, to a dude twice your age, and eating a Yodel for a wedding cake is the foundation of good “mojo”.).

Once the wrong song ended (which I wondered why the bartender just didn’t hit the skip button instead of a forced dance with mom), they reconvened at the jukebox for another try.  This time they had more success, and played the right song they wanted to dance to.

As the happy couple danced, I seriously considered walking up to them and saying “mind if I cut in?”  But even I’m not that much of an asshole.

For those of you who enjoyed my tour stories, sorry I can’t give you more.  Email me at shatmeself@yahoo.com and I’ll throw you a couple other laughs that might come to mind.  If you didn’t enjoy my tour stories, you suck.