A lot has happened this week. We found out Winnipeg is getting a second crack at the NHL (they should have never left in the first place), what terrible sports fans Atlanta has, and even the back story about the obsession we have with Moe Mantha. We at The Riot! celebrate this and hope you might get a laugh or two along the way, but there’s a lot more where that came from.
Jets Update
I caught some flak from Flyers fans for my comments regarding the Winnipeg TBD’s. Some even said they would boo me and not sit next to me at a game if I was sporting a Moe Mantha jersey (more on him later). One called me a fake fan and a traitor. I say f*ck that. We at The Riot embrace the TBD’s and the City of Winnipeg, so I’m standing my ground here. To spite them I decided to take it a step further. Should the TBD’s make the playoffs this season I will get a Winnipeg Jets tattoo (I’m thinking behind my knee).
I’ve been reading some blogs out of Canada bitching about the ticket prices for the upcoming season since they will be the second highest out of Canadian teams (behind Montreal). These bloggers are assholes. Why not be happy you again have an NHL team? Live sporting events cost money no matter where you are. You cannot expect to attend an NHL game and pay AHL prices. It’s not realistic. These bloggers should be as stoked as a guy like me in Philly that the NHL is back in Winnipeg and that they have something to write about besides curling and elk f*cking.
Tickets have gone on sale and almost 6,000 have been sold in 48 hours. Not a bad start considering this is a pre-sale only open to Manitoba Moose ticketholders. Tickets are open to the public on Saturday. 13,000 is the goal and you can keep track of it at www.thedrivefor13000.com.
Social Experiment Gone Wrong
Last week I was out with some friends having a couple drinks and we got on the topic of the absurdity of Craigslist personal ad. Essentially they are funny as shit because some of the things written has to be made up. So I wondered what type of people actually responds to these types of ads. Well this got me thinking. For social experimentation purposes I would place a personal ad on Craigslist and see who actually replies.
So here was my ad idea. I offered a free trip to Atlantic City. The conditions were that it was understood it would be overnight, she had to be able to hold her liquor, enjoyed a bit of gambling, and could handle whatever wildcard arose.
So I posted my ad and I waited for replies. I did get one of a single mother in suburban Philadelphia and a couple replies that I’m assuming were escorts (I’d like to think that most women won’t send nude photos on an initial email). After that the trail went dead.
This gave me hope in women that they do have common sense. What kind of moron would go on an overnight trip 70 miles east of where you live with someone you have never met in your life? I alone posting this ad made me feel like a total creep, so I could only imagine who would actually respond.
Well the other morning I got a reply; the first one in over a week. After a few emails where she was asking for details she asks me why someone posted I’m a liar. I found that to be interesting. Then she asked if I had a girlfriend/wife. I also found that to be interesting, but confused at the same time. I had no idea where this shit was coming from.
I continued to inquire and she told me someone hacked into my email account, found the ad and put up an anti-ad. Then a bunch of exes of mine posted some trash about me, and dudes did as well. She also said a bunch of photos of me were posted, some of me sleeping (now that’s f*cking creepy).
Now I know I’m not the most popular guy with people. I can be very opinionated and brash. I don’t expect everyone to like me and to be completely honest I couldn’t give a shit. I’m not running for public office.
So I went on Craigslist and looked for this hate ad. Bingo… Two days after I posted my ad an ad entitled “loser – Looking for Companion for Free Trip to AC”. Upon opening the ad it read “dude is a total liar – don’t believe anything he promises” (At least they could have used proper capital and punctuation). I didn’t see any of the other hate mail, or pictures of me.
So I replied to my new found friend saying I found the ad but nothing else. She told me it was there but it must have been erased.
Now my confusion turned to wonder about this situation. After looking at the ad again I realized there’s no way to post a comment on Craigslist. It’s a want-ad, you can reply to it but you cannot post comments. It’s not like it’s a goddamn message board.
This led me to believe either:
1 – I’m a moron and cannot figure out how to post a comment on a Craigslist want-ad.
OR
2 – The dumb bitch (be it female or male), contacting me is or knows the person who hacked into my email account and is blatantly f*cking with me.
I’m sorry sports fans, but I’m going with choice #2 here. Whoever contacted me knew way too much about me and quite frankly it’s pretty f*cking creepy.
Even so I replied to this person, trying to get more information about who this is, and this is when the person in question flipped the bitch, and started saying not so flattering things about me and things that were said about me on Facebook. “She” claimed we had mutual friends on Facebook (of course we do), and “she” inquired about me to them and they immediately responded giving the dirt on Jay. That actually made me laugh because even if “she” did and wasn’t full of shit this had to happen overnight. Highly unlikely.
So I called her out on all the holes in her story, and the reply I got was trash talking about some photos (I might not be the best looking guy, but ladies, I’m in the top three), of me on my Facebook page. More bullshit. If “she” claims who “she” said “she” was that wouldn’t happen because only friends can see anything I have on Facebook.
It’s not over yet. Oh no, when you’re being screwed with by lonely, immature dickholes they always go to the idiot extreme. Yesterday I noticed some Facebook friends were deleted (I wasn’t taking inventory, that’s not my move, I was re-requested by people). This seemed strange but I figured it was a simple glitch. Then a non-glitch happened.
I was on the phone with a friend last night having a conversation when the person I was talking to asked about a instant message they received from me on Facebook. I thought they were messing with me because earlier we were discussing my little social experiment. That’s when the person texted me a photo of their computer screen showing the message. That really freaked me out considering my laptop wasn’t even on. So unless it was Jesus Christ or the Easter Bunny, someone hacked into my Facebook account. I’ve been pretty much online raped.
I’m pretty sure who the person doing this is, and considering this person is dumber then a bag of dildos, they will slip up at some point and I’ll triumph.
Baseball Hall of Fame
I’ve spent a majority of my life living and breathing America’s Pastime and have been craving a trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame. I went once when I was about 12, but a lot has changed in the past 24 years (holy shit I’m getting old). Here’s the issue I have with the geniuses behind the HOF. It’s in the middle of f*cking nowhere!
The Hall of Fame is located in Cooperstown, NY, which is in the middle of nowhere and about the size of Mayberry. If it was located in West Virginia strangers passing through would be squealing like a pig. It’s just not an appealing place to be, and unless you’re a yokel it’s going to take you at least five hours to get there.
Now I know you’re thinking “Why would Major League Baseball put their Hall of Fame in the middle of nowhere?” This goes back to the 1839 when Abner Doubleday supposedly invented the game in Cooperstown. This is 100% bullshit. Doubleday never took credit for inventing baseball and in fact isn’t even in the Hall of Fame! There’s also no documentation that Doubleday was in Cooperstown in 1839, or if he ever was in Cooperstown.
This story is on par with Santa Claus, Bigfoot, or the Tooth Fairy, but because of this line of bullshit baseball fans are forced to travel to the middle of nowhere to see where the greats of the game are enshrined.
If baseball actually got it right the Hall of Fame would be located in Hoboken, NJ, where in 1845.
Where Are They Now? Moe Mantha
Now that you all know the origin of the obsession Chris and I have with Moe Mantha, I’m sure you’re wondering what ever happened to him. Well here’s the low down:
After representing the United States in the 1992 Winter Olympics (although a Canadian, Mantha was born in Cleveland), Mantha retired. He then turned his focus to being behind the bench, coaching the Hershey Bears and the Cincinnati Mighty Ducks before a four year stint as the head coach for the Junior USA team. Then Mantha became the head coach and general manager of the Windsor Spitfires (OHL).
The Spitfires gig was short lived as Mantha was suspended for 25 games as a coach and one year as a GM for a hazing incident. While on the team bus older players made four rookie players strip nude and Mantha did nothing to stop it. While Mantha claimed he was sleeping in the front of the bus he took full responsibility for the incident.
Mantha is currently the owner, coach, and general manager for the NAHL Michigan Warriors.
On a complete side note, Mantha has a Facebook fan page. He only has about 14 friends, but I encourage all to like the great Moe Mantha
Introducing Chad Steele
Have you heard of Chad Steele? If you haven’t yet you will. To sum up Chad Steel in one word, it’s “epic”. Little known facts about Chad Steele:
- Chad Steele is a trained fighter.
- Chad Steele doesn’t go to the doctor because Chad Steele heals himself.
- One time Chad Steele saved me from being attacked from a rabid beaver.
- Chad Steele’s tears have been known to cure AIDS. Too bad he never cries.
- Chad Steele almost raped Chuck Norris. Then he realized that was gay so he banged Chuck’s wife and made him watch.
- Chad Steele knows fat chicks need love too, just not Chad Steele’s love.
Mother’s hide your daughters because Chad Steele is on the loose. Stay tuned for more fact and stories about Thee Muthaf*ckin Chad Steele. Questions about Chad? Hit me up at shatmeself@yahoo.com.
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